DD gets smacks now and she is almost 4. Not often. Maybe once a week if that. But i dont think it serves its purpose anymore. I think the threat of having things taken off her is more of a better "use" of punishment.
She has a blankie that she had had since birth and lately ive noticed the threat of that being put away for 2min is more horrifying to her then the idea of me giving her a smack Even when she doesnt even know where blankie is anyway!!!
I put it in the cupboard the other day because she kept trying to give it to the puppy, i warned her he would destroy it and she should pick up all her toys so he doesnt get them either. She didnt listen so i put blankie away to save it. She went and cleaned up all her other toys, put her dirty clothes from the clothes basket into the laundry made her bed and tidied her books then politely asked for it back.
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10-08-2011 17:38 #21
10-08-2011 18:12 #22
I'm sure at that age they would have thought more along the lines of, "why is the person I love and trust more than anything in the world hurting me?". Yes, you have to teach them about danger, but there are other ways.
10-08-2011 18:18 #23
It depends what you mean by 'smacking'. My older siblings used to get 'smacked' with objects (wooden spoon, kettle cord, bottles etc.) when they were naughty as kids, but it stopped when they hit high school.
I never got smacked as a kid, but I can remember being slapped in the face as a teenager.
By that age I just resented my mum for hitting me, so I wouldn't say it was very effective.
I personally will never smack my children the way my siblings were smacked. Sure, it worked to make them stop doing the undesirable behaviour, but only because they were genuinely afraid of my parents.
I wouldn't want my children to fear me. Ever. No matter how trying they were being.
10-08-2011 18:21 #24
At the risk of this thread being totally derailed....
I just love how non-smackers assume that we smacking parents do so to inflict pain on our children.
I can honestly say the only time my DD has ever been hurt by a smack is when she's moved or I've missed and I've smacked her on the leg instead of a nappy covered bottom. And I could count the number of times this has happened on one hand and still have fingers to spare!
She gets upset if I use one finger to smack her bum... And yes I have done this to prove to myself and reassure myself that she gets upset because Mummy is cranky and upset with her, NOT because I have hurt her. Seriously I'd have to smack her so freaking hard to actually hurt her through a nappy. Surely people realise that?
But non smackers can go on assuming I inflict pain on my child... I really don't care what other people assume I do with my child.
10-08-2011 18:22 #25
i dont really smack unless the kids have done something very dangerous. A smack that hurts them anyway and its more because of my own anger. <br />
I used to be a serial smacker with DS9 when he was younger but learnt it doesnt work and smacking only teaches violence. I would often realise after i just smacked him for smacking me that it is me teaching him its Ok to smack. <br />
I do smack my other 2 but its more of a tap as a last resort. And i have not smacked my older DS for years cause it would just make him lash out more.
Last edited by bAaM; 10-08-2011 at 18:25.
10-08-2011 18:26 #26
I only ever smacked my DD for safety reason, shock of getting her away from dangerous things (touching the oven) and had stopped by the time she was about 2 as she was that bit older and able to understand words such as 'no, ouchies'
Personally I am against smacking a child as a form of disipline, smacking a child does not teach them right from wrong and certainly does not teach them violence is not the answer.
OP my dad was the same and seems to think violence is the solution to everything.
10-08-2011 18:33 #27
The Following User Says Thank You to BabushkaMumma For This Useful Post:
10-08-2011 18:41 #28
I find this to be a very interesting question, OP.
I don't hit my children, but it's apparently okay to hit children, but it's illegal to hit adults (assault), so at what point do you stop?
Is it okay to hit a 17yo, but not an 18yo because at that point there are legally an adult? If a 17yo was to go to the police and say that their parent hit them, would they be able to press charges, despite them not technically being an adult?
Obviously I think it's never okay to hit a person of any age, but for those that do think it's okay to hit children, I hope that this is a question that they do indeed ponder over.
10-08-2011 19:00 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
Wish I hadn't read this thread cos it's made me
"When a child hits a child, we call it aggression.
When a child hits an adult, we call it hostility.
When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault.
When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline."
— Haim G. Ginott
10-08-2011 19:07 #30
Bundymummy, I'm glad you don't hurt your child but you can't really tell me that's the same for everyone? 350,000 kids each year are physically abused in this country, so clearly some smacks are hurting can I ask
then why do you hit her? Is it to scare her or
make her fearful of you?
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