Okay, we all agree that unless you have walked that mile, then you cannot possibly understand what it's like to have fertility problems... Agreed?
Sooo...I'm thinking we can have a little fun today (it doesn't all have to be bad news) and begin the first World's Worst Comment Award.
What's the worst "reassuring" comment that people give you when they discover your secret?
Or perhaps the most common bit of "advice" that drives you crazy with rage?
You know the one's...
"You just have to relax..." and
"Have you tried eating xyz...?" or
"Stand on your head after sex, do a triple backflip then stuff your mouth with marshmallows and say your name three times" ...okay, so I made that last one up!!
But we do get some pretty insane bits of advice at times and at other times some downright heartless/thoughtless comments from other people...
It's time to name and shame!!
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31-07-2011 23:10 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
"You just have to be patient" - Worst Comment Award
02-08-2011 09:08 #2
it is time to laugh it off.....
my favourite is : "Just dont think about it, and it will happen in no time" ! (bulldust)
"oh you better off without another one anyway"....."one is defiantly enough"
"we wernt even trying, and bam, im pregnant again and its our 4th"
Ok im going to stop now.....it gets so hard to hear comment like these, but hey become common words after ttc for so long, but on the inside it still hurts.
Anyhoo laugh it off today....today is a non depressing ttc day its official.
02-08-2011 09:18 #3
While we were TTC some of the 'best' (worst) comments I got were..
'It will happen if you just relax' (after we came back from a holiday in Fiji...don't think we could have got any more relaxed than that!)
'I guess it's just not your time yet'
I think the best was from MIL when we told her our only option was IVF and her response was 'have you spoken with a doctor about it?' (oh no we just decided we'd jump to the most expensive way of conceiving a baby just for fun!!)
After I miscarried the great comments just kept rolling in....
'It obviously wasn't meant to be'
'At least you know IVF works for you' (so not the point I want to concentrate on while grieving thank you!!)
Some people just need to keep their mouths shut!!
02-08-2011 09:52 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
Stop thinking about and it will happen
It will happen when it's meant to
It's obviously not the right time
Then after a m/c the best was..
- at least you know you can fall pregnant..
Yep for a whole 2 weeks!
02-08-2011 10:08 #5
Totally agree with munchies mummy.
I have been the culprit and the receiver of crap comments
I too like these threads as it teaches me to watch my mouth even when I am trying to be nice.
My favourite for me is shortly after DD2 arrived a lady told me she was sorry to hear about my recent 'mishap' ouch!
Just yesterday I got told to not be too obsessed or I will end up crazy, think I'm already there
02-08-2011 10:31 #6
where do you begin!!
I actually had a friend decide to show me how easy it was to fall pregnant. One cycle....see Ky it's easy...I was going on 4 years TTC and still had 5 to go.
I do personally believe in the universe isn't ready for me to have my bub yet as that is what gets me through trying everyday, but I try very hard not to put my feelings onto anyone else.....
My second Angels EDD is the 26th of August. My mum said why do you care. It wasn't like you knew you were pregnant for long.....yeah 2 weeks and in one second I was in love. Then I got the it was my grand baby to you know...of course it was!!!
The have you tried A to Z is annoying when it is obvious after 8 years of TTC I had just about tried everything known to man!!!
Ohh girls relax......the egg stays alive for a mear 12 hours, that is if you produce eggs and sperm well it can zoom up in 5 mins if you have EWCM and get that timing right aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
o0o0o0o0 and my Fave. We had DH sperm tested...He is the sperminator. 2 GPs and my FS and even my Mum all said and I quote...."WELL IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT" yeah no freaking DER thanks for that!!!!!
I am off to find a wall to bang my head on now
02-08-2011 10:41 #7
This is a great thread
I have just had my second miscarriage after 5.5years TTC #2
My friend who has two children told me after the first loss that I couldn't be upset. It is just the way it is. (thanks)
After this mc she told me "well, you don't really need another baby do you? You already have DD so that should be enough)
Sometimes I think that people think what they are saying is the right thing but they don't realise just how much it hurts.
02-08-2011 10:48 #8
The best comment I ever got, from my mother of all people.
"Millions of women fall pregnant all the time without trying surely it can't be that hard" After explaining that apparently it was that hard for me she continued by adding, "I still don't see why its so hard for you when its so easy for others"
02-08-2011 10:55 #9
most people don't know that we're TTC, so mostly it's those comments from people who just don't think about the fact that they just don't know someone's personal situation (despite their best intentions, it still gets to you sometimes).....
- "You're still young, you've got plenty of time" (bullxxxx!! over 30 and your fertility goes down hill, especially with PCOS and thyroid issues)
- "my sister is two years older than you and she's just had her 2nd baby" (second?!! what's that? and she's obviously got the same body as me )
- them: "I'm pregnant" me: "congratulations, this is your second? were you trying very long?" them: "no, just happened" or "no, first try" (aarrghhhhh!!)
- "so when are you two planning to have kids now that you're married?"
- "do you and ____ plan to have children?" (if they only knew )
- "after you DTD you gotta lie with your legs up in the air for 30mins - it worked for my friend"
amongst other 'gems' lol....
02-08-2011 10:57 #10
Eek! Yeah. Mine was the good old 'it'll happen when you stop trying' 'it'll happen if you relax'
Umm no it happened because I got a positive opk and dtd twice in that 48 hours. And shamefully I did lay on my back, hips tilted with a pillow and legs in the air! Lol. Desperate times!
Had I not *tried* I would not be pregnant right now!
The mistake I made was assuming we'd fall pregnant easily so when people said 'when are you planning your next Bub?' we were open about saying we were trying. So people knew we tried for 2 years so they can't not offer *advice*.
Most of the advice was to hurry up and wean. I'm still breast feeding!
Advice with TTC is really only appropriate if it's asked for. (actually that applies to most things in life!)
Last edited by Boobycino; 02-08-2011 at 11:01.
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