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  1. #1
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    Default Spin off thread * Do you think all women long for a baby girl (and men for a boy)?

    After hijacking a thread about gender disappointment (sorry about that) I decided to start this thread to see what bubhubbers think (or have experienced). As I said in the other thread - when I was pg with my first (and didn't find out the gender) I had numerous people comment - I suppose you're hoping for a girl? Same kind of comments from a couple of people after the baby was born (a beautiful DS) - so are you disappointed? My best friend believes that every woman longs for a girl deep down, even if they won't admit it. I find this really interesting.

    I didn't feel either way about the gender when pg with our first. And we didn't find out the sex 2nd time around - that is I wanted a surprise and didn't feel the need to know at 20 weeks in case it was another boy (have had a few friends who find out 2nd or 3rd time around to get the disappointment over with if there is to be any disappointment...) Does this mean I wouldn't have felt any disappointment if our second had been born a boy as well? I really don't know. Did I feel a longing for a girl? I don't think so...but maybe I am wrong??

    Thoughts? Experiences?

    Another mate of mine always longed for a boy (and has one - he's nearly 4 and still an only at the moment). She was so relieved at the 20 week scan to find out he was male. My other friend was shocked by this story (and I don't think she believed it lol!) I believe it.

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    I have a Ds and would really love a dd next. I think being a girl I prefer girl toys and clothes etc and find it hard shopping for Ds. Toys are especially hard. I know the toys are for him but I just can't bring myself to buy transformers etc. Having said that I think I will grow to love boy things and having another healthy baby no matter what it is will be my main priority. I think I'm just a Girly girl.

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    I think we all long for and want a child that mimics one of the strongest relationships in our lives or, long for what we didn't have growing up. In other words a mother-daughter relationship, but for some it's more about the relationship than the gender dynamic. Personally, I would love a little girl so that I could do the things my mum and I did together, and to be part of her wedding day, but I also know that having a girl wouldn't determine if I could do these things, fostering a great relationship with her would. And I also know that I will get just as much pleasure fostering a great relationship with my son, and can't wait til the day I pin a rose on his lapel on his wedding day!

    So in amongst all my rambling, yes I think we ling for girls but I think if we really thought about why, we would realize the issues are not so much about gender, but our perceived ideas of what each gender can offer us in regards to our relationship to them... Does that make sense???

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    I never *longed* for a girl, I was happy with whatever I got, and was totally delighted to find out DS was a boy at his birth.

    I am expecting a girl in about 10 weeks, and the only reason I am happy it's a girl is because I'm not in a relationship with the father and FOB was obsessed with wanting a boy (even though this pregnancy was unplanned and a total surprise), to the point where he only thought of boy names and questioned the ultrasound technician about it, even though the technician was quite sure. So, as awful as this is going to sound, I was so relieved that it was a girl because I would have felt like an incubator for another man's son (my husband wanted a boy and got one with DS). I was a bit sad and p!ssed off when FOB seemed disappointed that this baby was a girl, actually made me GLAD she is (a little bit spiteful, yes, but FOB annoys me). So, that's my reason for being happy that I'm having a girl, it's nothing to do with some longing I've always had because I would have actually been happy either way.

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    Not sure about all people, but i long for a girl. Im not sure if i ever will get the chance though.

    To me, there is something really special about a mother daughter relationship, and of course there is something special about a mother/son relationship but they are 2 different type of relationships.

    I think when our boys grow up, they marry and they start their new lives with their wife/partner and you kinda of lose them to the new women in their life.

    But for girls, they always need their mum, to be a part of their pregnancy, birth and being a grandparent to her child.

    I think the dynamics are so different when they grow up. I can't imagine my daughter in law letting me be a huge part in all that and i find from personal observation the grandchildren are always closer to the maternal grandparents. Of course not all cases are like that.

    Its not very common that a daughter in law is close to her inlaws and you just have to see on here how many MIL's are *****ed about lol.

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    Nope. Although personally for me, I do have that longing for a daughter, but I am happy with the 2 children that I have. A close friend of mine has and wanted 2 boys, said she wouldn't know how to deal with a girl. And as for men wanting boys, sure some would, but my DP has his heart set on a daughter.

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    DH really REALLY wanted a boy first. He would have been disappointed if we had a girl first. For him its about having a boy there to help look after a daughter and to carry on the name. When we found out we were having a 2nd boy he was even more over the moon. Now though, he longs for a daughter.

    For me, I think I want a girl mainly to appease everyone else and to avoid the negativity that would surround me having another boy. But I'm happy either way.
    Last edited by Lemonhead; 26-07-2011 at 13:12.

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    Nope. I've NEVER longed for a girl, very very much the opposite ...

    I only want boys. But would be completely happy if we had a girl ...


    ** end of transmission **

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    I don't think that every one wants a child of the same sex. In fact there could be many reasons why people really dread a child of the same sex, such as issues with their own parent of the same sex, or they really want two children of the same gender, they really don't assimilate with people of the same gender and so want the opposite sex for children too. Ie their friends and partner and maybe most of their other family members are all female, and they do not get along with any males and so dread having a son for the fear of not knowing what to do with a son etc.

    So in my opinion it isn't black and white

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    I have two boys, and get sooooo many comments about me assuming that I must want to go back to try for a girl (and before DS1 so many comments about wanting a girl).

    TBH I absolutely wanted a boy first (and well second too, if there was going to be a third).... I was so so so happy when DS1 was born.

    However whilst I adore my boys, a part of me longs for a girl.... not in childhood- I don't care about frilly dresses and playing 'dolls' but I feel sad that I will never have a daughter with whom I can share her experiences- first boyfriend, first kiss, gets married, has her own children and so on and so forth... this is what makes me sad....

    I want a third child... but I want a third CHILD I'd take boy or girl, just for the chance to have another bub.

    I think its naive to assume that every woman must want a daughter.


 

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