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  1. #1
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    Default First time mummy to be seeks advice!

    I'm 7 weeks pregnant, VERY early I know but we're over the moon!

    DP & I are very interested in Natural Parenting and all that comes with it.

    I'm wondering if any experienced mummies out there could offer me any advice or any suggested reading?

    We live in the Central West of NSW, literally in the middle of no where so I'm doubting we have any Natural Parenting groups around us which is a shame.

    How does co-sleeping work? I am the most violent sleeper!!! If I'm not wriggling around like a maniac then I'm having loud conversations! I don't think I'd be great at sharing a bed with my newborn!

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    Congratulations!
    You can buy a co-sleeper cot that you can put next to your bed with the side down so that baby is still very close to you but eliminates the concerns of rolling onto them or them falling out of the bed ect ect.
    I hear tthe attachment parenting book by Dr Sears is excellent, I have ordered it but it has not arrived yet
    Maybe also check out the attachment parenting website

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  4. #3
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    Thank you very much mumma inky, can I ask from your point of view how have you found Attachment Parenting?

  5. #4
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    BabushkaMumma is offline Mothering with my whole heart as thats what my girls have given me.
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    There are thankfully lots of support groups for AP (attachment parenting) or NP (natural parenting) online and on Facebook.

    In terms of face to face groups you may be able to start one up of your own

    In terms of reading, there is a lot of literature that supports what can be found instinctively within ourselves. A 'starting point' of these books in terms of first published is 'The Continuum Concept'. I find it can be a hard / deep read and while outlines some lovely examples of very AP living, the practicality of day makes it hard.

    From there I find books published by the Sears (a husband and wife team) to be a great starting point especially from a newborn point of view. They helped to establish AP in the main******.

    More modern authors are Pinky McKay, Elizabeth Pantley and relate to sleep / nighttime parenting.

    Then, it's a matter of finding other authors that you feel a connection too, I like Steve Biddulph for his Raising Girls / Raising Boys series. I also enjoy reading books off the recommended reading list from the Australian Breastfeeding Association.

    And for birth, anything written by Micheal Odent, Ina May Gaskin, Henci Goer or Dr Sarah Buckley are very important reads.

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    welcome aboard!
    I personally didnt do any reading until after DD was born.
    I just ignored advice if it felt wrong, and did what felt right 100% of the time.
    I was also NEVER going to bedshare/cosleep, and here we are at 14 months and bedsharing haha
    We got a second hand cot and took one side off, then pushed it against our bed. I then made the cot and our bed as one surface.
    that way we had our space and DD was arms reach for feeds.

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    Congrats! Sending good vibes your way for relaxed, happy pregnancy.
    I can't be much help with book recommendations - though I read a trillion conception, pregnancy and birth books; when it comes to parenting itself, most books conflicted with my instincts... plus I had no time to read anymore. Hehe.

    I would advise putting aside daily life as much as possible for the first three months - pass chores off to hubby, family or friends as much as possible, and arrange a whole freezer of nutritious meals. Most of your time will be spent boobing your newborn, sleeping when they sleep, eating when you can! It sounds extreme and the house might be a mess for awhile but honestly these newborn days go so fast, and they're such a beautiful bonding stage.

    King beds are amazing! We've finally bought one and it's just restored our co sleeping sanity. As for your extreme sleeping ways, you will probably find that with bub in your arms you'll tune into them completely. Experiment! Hubby would sometimes sleep in the spare bed during those first weeks, which helped us.

    Don't be too stressed if there are a few days when bub just doesn't seem to be happy, I remember in the first weeks with my daughter, a few afternoons of miserable crying which broke my heart! But I think with newborns there is a bit of an adjustment phase. HTH


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    I'm really quite new to attachment parenting. I had heard of it but I didn't really know what it was until a few months ago... until then I had been a demand feeding co-sleeping mumma who did'nt seem to fit with the style of parenting everyone else was doing and was often told I was spoiling my son. I disagreed as I just thought he was well loved.. it was not until I discovered bub hub and had a sticky beak at this forum on natural parenting I realized "that's me!"
    We had a natural uncomplicated birth (thank heavens)in our local maternity hospital and we were grateful they allowed our request and my husband was the first one to put his hands around our son and caught him as he was being born, which was amazing! Our son co-slept with us until 13 months of age and now sleeps the first half of the night in his cot and the remainder with us. He self weaned at 12 months as we are expecting his brother.
    I've always tried my best to make sure that his every need was met and showered him with affection, even if it's just to fix a grizzle, but as I said I did not know what attachment parenting was and was met with much criticism from people ranging from family, mothers group, to a complete stranger whose son pushed my son over and when he was upset and I was consoling him told me to tell him to just go and play (her son had already taken off, no apology offered).
    I had always felt torn about parenting my son as so many were quick to tell me I was spoiling him, he would NEVER learn to sleep on his own (OMG I do NOT want an 18 year old in my bed lol!) At one stage we even tried sleep school, which I regret every day.
    But now that I know that this form of parenting is the "natural choice" and what and why it is and is not I have developed a lot more confidence in my parenting choices.
    My son is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and I cherish him dearly. I love watching him play, he is such a cheeky boy. I love it when we lay down to go to sleep and he takes his dummy out and leans over and gives me a kiss before putting it back in and going to sleep. And I love that he is such a sensitive and affectionate child.
    But giving of yourself 24/7 does get draining and I do need breaks. I try very hard not to get mad or upset at him, but sometimes you do and I think that's ok but it's how you deal with these feelings that matter. I love it when his Dad gets home early (he is self employed and works very late alot of the time) and I can have a nice long hot shower and use up the two days worth of water because I didn't get one the day before.
    I think it's wonderful you already know how you want to raise your child, your off to a wonderful start!

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    Have you considered having a homebirth at all? Many AP families like this as an option as you can have a midwife come to your home for all your check ups and when its time to birth. Some states have a Community Midwife program such as the NT and WA.

    I think its great that your looking into this now and learning, you will find that much of AP is simply instinctive stuff, there is no one set of 'rules'. Many AP families use cloth nappies, breastfeed well beyond 6 months, co-sleep, homeschool etc but many also don't do all those things. I know of one family who have fostered and adopted children and for them being AP or natural parents is about being respectful of the child and not using traditional methods of 'discipline'. They parent all their children from the heart, never shame and try to model a way of living that treats all members of the family and community as friends to be treated with kindness.

    If you follow your inner compass you will find that most of it will just flow when the time comes, try not to overload yourself with knowledge from books. Get out there and just chat with others and maybe find some IRL groups to meet face to face so you can find those elements of AP parenting that will work for you.

    .....my final bit of advice is that a good sling or wrap is a must, it will become your best friend

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    Congratulations on your pregnancy!
    Attachment parenting is such a beautiful way to nuture your baby and yourself as a mother. I'm an obsessive parenting book reader so I have lots of book recommendations for you.

    Pregnancy and Birth
    "Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbith"
    "The Natural Way to Better Babies"
    The Natural Way to Better Birth and Bonding"
    "The Big Stretch" - a great birth DVD
    "Gentle Birth Method"
    "Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering"

    Parenting Books
    "Heart to Heart Parenting"
    "The Science of Parenting"
    "Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Child's Brain"
    "Parenting from the Inside Out"
    "The Attachment Parenting Book"
    "Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to Cosleeping"
    "Sleeping Like a Baby"
    "Unconditional Parenting"

    These books have given me confidence that not only is attachment parenting instinctual and delicious, it's also grounded in cutting edge science.
    I'd also recommend checking out the natural parenting website and forum
    Enjoy the journey

  11. #10
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    My suggestion would be to start during pregnancy and with the birth Googling "Healing Birth, Healing the Earth" should get you on your way.
    Last edited by headoverfeet; 18-08-2011 at 15:36.


 

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