Hi lovely ladies,
Just thought I'd let you all know that we've decided to stop trying for a baby right at this moment.
We’ve decided that I’ll teach for a year or two, and do so overseas if possible. With Aaron's wage increasing infinitely, and my own full time wage, we'll be in a far better position both financially and emotionally to give our children exponentially better opportunities in the future. We don’t believe it fair upon our children to have them now, with essentially only one wage and living in a significantly smaller apartment than would be ideal. This is only our idea, and certainly doesn’t reflect upon anyone else but ourselves.
It hurts to not be able to do something that we’ve both wanted for so very long, but hopefully we’re better able to care for our future children as we believe they should be cared for if we just wait a while longer.
I don't know how I'm going to be any less upset each month, even though we're both pleased to have reached the best decision. I guess that's just something I'll have to work on.
Sorry for the rant, and good luck to everyone on their ttc journey's - I hope they're all short and wonderful!
+ Reply to Thread
Results 51 to 60 of 783
11-07-2011 11:23 #51
11-07-2011 11:41 #52
Hi Aly, wow big decision but it makes sence. we waited and now we are more secure even though we have a huge mortgage and ill have to go back to work ASAP! Just remember it takes longer when you get older! i wish you well and think you should not TTC and just see if it comes naturally. In the end, as long as the baby has love, thats all it needs!
11-07-2011 12:01 #53
Hugs Aly! I do admire your decision. Hopefully a bub will come to you when you are totally ready.
11-07-2011 12:12 #54
Hugs Aly! It's so hard to make a decision like that and I admire you for it - if DH and I had gotten pregnant when we wanted we would not have spent that year overseas which would have been a shame. We look back now and are glad it didn't happen then and I hope that you too will feel the same in the future! Hope it all goes well for you xx
[ETA - I have a long catch up post in the works but will finish that a little later!]
11-07-2011 12:38 #55
Thankyou all so much, it means a lot to me.
I'm only 21 now,so I'm not overly worried about age, although I did always want to have my kids by 25...I suppose we'll be starting around 24, 25 now...
11-07-2011 20:44 #56
mylittlefamily - Oh my did we ever Sorry if that's TMI ... my now in hope that we caught that egg too! How did your POAS test go on Saturday?! Have the cramps brought any good news??
AnnieJ - Welcome back... i've seen you floating around and been following your TTC journal.. i love reading it... you have a great flair for writing.. i think you should look into getting your thoughts published!!! I'm attempting to just going for it too.. but sometimes can't help myself and think about Oing times lol...
SilentRockFaery - Your AF sounds terrible!!! Here's to her having a short stay!
AlyLala - Your decision is so well considered and thought out! Good Luck on your chosen journey! Here's to your bub finding you when you're ready!
AFM - Plodding along happily... thinking that the weekends tiredness was really just tiredness from a busy week/weekend.. because i felt perfectly fine at work today and even now.. not tired at all..... BOO!!!!
Last edited by Angelski; 11-07-2011 at 20:44. Reason: forgot my colours! lol
11-07-2011 22:49 #57
AlyLala: I can empathise with you hun. DP and I recently thought we were pregnant by accident, then decided that if we werent we would TTC. Then when we found out we werent pregnant decided that it wasnt perhaps the right time and maybe we got caught up in the emotional haze. But it turned out that the haze wasnt over yet when we made that decision either because we now realise that we were just talking ourselves out of what we really wanted because it seemed to be what everyone else would do. We are ok financially thank goodness, I have finished uni (well, doing post grad study, but nothing that cant be deferred if need be) and we have a lovely home with spare rooms ready for tiny people to fill them. So whilst we ended up turning around again and deciding we did want to TTC I can see how easily things can change and you realise that perhaps you were just convincing yourself that everything will be fine because you want it so badly. You are a great Mum already, waiting and suffering yourself in the meantime to give your children a better life in the end. I think selflessness is a huge part of motherhood, so you're half way there and when those babies do come you can enjoy them as much as you deserve to without all of the extra stress of study, or work or whatever the case may be.
Angelski: Arent you a sweet heart. Thanks. I really love writing actually. I have written a few chapters of a story about my family (looooooong story!) but being such a perfectionist and emphatically busy doing post grad study full time and working full time it is a long work in progress. And Im glad to hear im not the only one winging this whole TTC thing. Everyone else seems like major pros! Although I must admit I did look up my ovulation calendar earlier today just to be sure of my most fertile days. Having said that I hope I can avoid mechanically seducing my DP because I know it's O time - but I know the chances of that are going to be high now!
AFM I went to Ikea today and drooled over the baby section. I also googled co sleepers and baby wraps as working in psychiatry I am a big advocate of attachment parenting and will be using all of those things that make the authors of baby books hoarse from screaming "NOOOOO!". I found hugabub.com and armsreach.com - will order some stuff when I am pregnant. Took much strength not to do so today! Also considering cloth nappies, but need to do some more research.
Last edited by AnnieJ; 11-07-2011 at 22:54.
11-07-2011 23:04 #58Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Aly, it's never easy making any kind of decisions, so I admire you for it. Good luck with your journey, and hopefully your BFP will be there before you know it!
Silent, well at least Something is happening with your body! I hope AF doesn't outstay her welcome though...
Bubba, How are you feeling? sorry you've been having such a difficult time...
Summa and Lovepink, I'm so glad your scans went well! it's so exciting!
How's everyone doing? Been a little quiet in here...
AFM, I started jabbing last thursday. It really burnt!!! but it's getting better so my body must be getting used to the liquid. And I have a whole month of those jabs! Anyways, at least I'm doing something finally. AND I get to stop bcp this week so excited, although I haven't been bleeding badly, just spotting, but it's still very annoying...So I'm expecting AF on sunday, and going back for u/s and BT next thursday, when we start the stim injections.
Hope everyone is doing ok.
12-07-2011 10:58 #59
Massive post alert!
Pink - Happy Birthday for Friday! I saw it was your birthday the day I last posted, but somehow completely managed to forget to write it! How awesome to see your little one for the first time on your birthday! It's a cute little blobby too!
Summa - Oh Blob is gorgeous! Well done you! Yay for announcing it too! I've already planned how we'll announce ours, now we just need to get UTD
Bubba - So happy to see you back here! Oh I really do hope your embie sticks around, it would be so lovely for you and your DH! Good that there was some to freeze too! All the best xx
Oh, and funny you should mention the like/unlike button - I'm a member of another forum and it has buttons for educational, interesting, funny, agree, disagree and love. But it's anonymous if you click any of them. I often look for the interesting, agree and love buttons in this thread forgetting I'm in the wrong forum!
Lisa - Ooh seeing movement! Exciting!
I'm studying Psychology through a bachelor of arts. I'm enjoying it so far but I have been warned it gets harder than this! At least I know if I don't try too hard I can score a credit
Magic - I'm resolutely not being worried for you and your rising white cells and fatigue! But I do hope it all amounts to just a big scare.
MLF - Eurgh gastro. I hope you avoided it! Did you still manage to BD?
Frankie - Welcome! I'm sure you'll be knocked over with advice about OPKs here in these threads! I decided that's where I drew the line with TTC obsession, I always know when I O anyway! So I'm not much help. Hope August is successful for you!
Noctrne - Oh wow, some people are unbelievable! I cannot understand how people can just blatantly disrespect something that is not theirs! Surely they realise how valuable houses are being renters? Argh! I could rant for hours! Hope everything is sorted out for you, and all goes in your favour!
Angel - Oh I'm impressed you can study by correspondence AND get HDs! I've tried in the past to study by correspondence and we do not fit together well. I'll be satisfied if I can boost myself to a D student, I think I need to be D average in order to take Psych further.
It certainly sounds like you've BD'd enough to catch that eggy!
Annie - How exciting to be officially taking the TTC plunge! All the best for testing in August xx
I wish we had IKEA here! Now that I'm TTC again and with actual conviction we might get there, I'm so glad I don't work in Target anymore! My department was right next to the Nursery dept and we'd occasionally be called upon to construct prams and highchairs and things for display models. Didn't help with the cluckyness!
Chic - Hooray for starting to do things! Jabbing doesn't sound like too much fun, esp if it burns at first!
Hello to anyone I may have missed!
AFM - 2WW madness is setting in and I'm happy to be going back to uni tomorrow, it'll take my mind off things! Despite the madness, I think I've settled into a 'comfortably hopeful but not desperately expecting it' state. I should probably stop gazing at maternity clothes on Asos - I realised that we're going to a wedding shortly before the EDD for conceiving this month! Ok, so back to sorting out our room of doom. I said I'd do it during the holidays and I have half a day left!
The Following User Says Thank You to elly_star For This Useful Post:
12-07-2011 20:38 #60Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
Yay a masssive congrats nocture!!!! How exciting. I have fingers crosses for u it's a sticky!!!!
The Following User Says Thank You to PinkIsTheNewBlack For This Useful Post:
Einsteinz MusicFun & interactive music classes! Classes are taught by professional musicians! Children are taught the fundamentals of ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Chickenpox after being immunised?Pro-Vaccination
PCOS, atypical hyperplasia and one loss post IVFPolycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) Chat
Would you delay TTC because first child is starting first year of school.General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Dr Antony Lighten - Appreciation threadpregnancy and babies through IVF
The Not So Serious Vent Thread #7General Chat
Egg Donation in South Africa #14Egg Donation