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  1. #21
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    I will never put any of my children through the crap childhood I had!
    Dad has stupid mean punishments. The 1 that stands out heaps is when he tied my ponytail to my feet with a tea towel and then tickled me. Everytime I moved my hair would get yanked and hurt so bad even for days after.
    We were made to stay in bed every wkd till my parents got up. The usually got up around 12. No food, no drink, no toys. And if we had been allowed to get up we wouldn't have made a noise.
    My name is hyphenated, think like Jamie-lee. If any friend rang and asked for just the first half of my name they would get hung up on. A teacher of mine also got an angry letter just for writing the first half of my name on my report card.
    I will never tell my children they are the reason I am an alcoholic
    I will never stand by & watch my DH hurt my kids.
    And I will let my kids watch kids movies!! I didn't see the little mermaid or the lion king till I was 21!

  2. #22
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    I honestly, honestly cant think of anything my mum did wrong to me when I was growing up... The only thing I can think of would be that I wish she took more notice, and was more active in pushing me to excel in school... She kind of encouraged me, but left me to my own devices. If you know what I mean.

    With regards to what MIL has done to DP... There is a list of things I will never do to my kids after seeing her.

    I will not be overly pushy with school work - I hope I can find a nice balance. MIL wakes up the kids at like 3-4am and keeps them up to like 11-12 to study. (year 8 this year!!!!!)

    I will not be grounding my children for every single little tiny thing, thus shutting them off from the rest of society, stunting them socially.

    I will not cut my kids off from the rest of the family, severing ties to everyone except mum, dad brothers and sisters. I will not talk badly about other family members infront of my kids and make jokes about others.

    I will hopefully not argue with DP infront of the kids like MIL does.... And I'm talking, raging, slapping, screaming matches.

    I dont want to look perfect. I want to age gracefully, and not be all consumed with facial peels that leave me red raw, I do not want to be constantly winging about my weight, and measuring my foods, and going week to week with fad/crazy diets.

    I want to be happy, and realise its okay to ask for help.

  3. #23
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    Pregnor - I was a messy kid, mum used pull everything out of my wardrobe and drawers and dump it in the middle of my room, I q wasn't allowed to leave my room again til I had put it all away neatly. I would sit in my room sobbing for days...i would Never do that!
    my mum used to this

    It is really sad seeing what some of you guys have been brought up with, but at least you have broken the cycle

    AFM - my Mum is awesome and I love her but she isnt perfect main thing was her temper, the things she done which we will NOT be doing

    - smacking with an object e.g wooden spoon, mum was mainly a kitchen utensil thing never a belt etc.

    Im trying to be more patient and dont lose my temper and say things that are just awful in the heat of the moment that you can not take back - like my Mum as they were her down points and even to this day that is one thing she says she always hated about her raising kids.

  4. #24
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    Oh my, some of these are heartbreaking! Good on the parents that have recognized 'abnormal' behavior and abuse from their parents and have broken the cycle with their children. I'm not going to turn this into a pro/anti smacking debate but it really does break my heart when I see I child smacked/hit when I'm out with DS!

  5. #25
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    bgbgbb is offline To think, I was only going to have 1 child!
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    God, how our parents would be up for child abuse by today's standards.

    Can I also add that my mum was horrible regarding get smoking, I'm asthmatic now as a result.

    I think what hurt me more than the strap was the psychological punishments. Once I accidentally spilled topping in the cupboard. Her response was to cut my waist length hair all off & crow about it to whoever would listen.

    I would also listen to my children if they were to tell me they were being sexually abused instead of telling them they were a liar because they happened to tell lies when they were 4.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by bgbgbb View Post
    Her response was to cut my waist length hair all off & crow about it to whoever would listen.


    My Mum did this to my little sister when she was about 7 . My sister was devastated (naturally), so I fixed it up a bit for her and showed her how she could style it to look kinda cute. Mum was livid and wouldn't speak to me for days.

    I can't imagine ever being that angry/frustrated with another person that I would go to such lengths to hurt them. My Mum suffers from mental illness though, so it's not really her fault a lot of the time.

  7. #27
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    Hmmm...so much stuff to be honest.
    Safe to say that I will be parenting in a vastly different manner to the way I was parented. I will afford my children the respect they deserve as people. I will listen to them. I will communicate with them. I will Parent them, not attempt to control them. I will love them unconditionally and will never resort to emotional blackmail. I will never subject them to abuse, or abusers. I could go on...

  8. #28
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    ...
    Last edited by Lunaticity; 23-06-2011 at 23:54.

  9. #29
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    Never cry or show negative emotions.
    I know generally parents want to protect their children from seeing them upset but I ended up growing up believing that only children cried, as I'd never seen a grown up cry before (except maybe on TV/movies).
    So I thought there was something really wrong with me when I reached young adulthood and still cried when something upset me!
    It doesn't sound like much but I'd want to be able to show my children that it's ok to be sad sometimes and express that, and even grown-ups cry sometimes and that's perfectly ok...

  10. #30
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    Stay with an abusive partner. I would never subject my daughter to what I went through


 

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