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  1. #41
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    My MIL is great because:

    - she lets me vent: the other day I went on for ages about how things were tough for me job wise and how hard things are at the moment and she just listened and offered the odd words here and there.

    - she respects that her son and I are both adults: I mentioned that I asked DH to go on permanent night shift for a while because money was getting too tight for comfort and though I could tell she didn't really like the idea she didn't say a bad word. Then when I told her he didn't need to any more because I have a job she mentioned that she hadn't liked the idea. I loved her more then because she just bit her tongue for a while but was so polite about it when she did voice her real thoughts.

    - she likes me but doesn't try to smother me: My MIL and I go out for shopping trips and lunch on occasion, just us girls. My IL's also get me and DH over for dinner about once a fortnight and sometimes we go out for special dinners too. However, they don't just drop in on us and don't call every single day. We usually get a catch up phone call once a week or so or we call them to see how they're going.

    - she doesn't put any pressure on us: My MIL just got the blessing of a grandson last year, but downside is he is on the other side of the country. She is flying over to see him every few months but I know she is hoping that we have a child soon. However, she never pressures us or asks when we are going to have kids. She knows it will happen soon even if it is not as soon as she would like.

    My MIL has also offered to look after LO when I want to go back to work after maternity leave. I think this is fantastic in theory as we won't have childcare costs, but I also think that she hasn't thought through the reality. I work in the opposite direction to where she lives so she would have to come to our place (an issue seeing as she doesn't like to drive much let alone across the city), she won't be able to take her holidays during school terms or we will be left without care options unless we are notified in advance so DH can take leave, and she would need to follow what I ask of her, which I am not 100% sure she would do, eg no sugar (her sons are all sugar addicts), set rest times, etc. She does do a little bit of the "in my day" stuff but I just smile and take it with a grain of salt.

    Given all the posts I have read so far though it sounds like the ingredients for a great MIL are the same and I am lucky to have one too.

  2. #42
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    One who lives interstate .

    Seriously though, one who doesn't think her son is 'holier than thou' and one who respects you as you do her.

  3. #43
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    i have three sons and i anticipate ill be an awful mil
    not because i don't want to be a good one. just cause im socially awkward and abrasive. not intentionally its just how i seem to come across. not sure how im going to work that into being lovely and welcoming lol

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  4. #44
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    You can be a great MIL by being a great person.

    Someone who cares about and considers others.

    That is all you really need.

  5. #45
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    One who respects boundaries, and knows they don't 'own' their child.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to RunningWithScissors For This Useful Post:

    Brandnewbeginnings  (20-03-2012),MissMuppet  (13-03-2012)

  7. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by RunningWithScissors View Post
    One who respects boundaries, and knows they don't 'own' their child.
    Mine always says she doesn't want to come across as sticking her nose in.... But still always does.

  8. #47
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    I am subscribing!!! I will be a MIL to three daughters in law, and I really would like to be a good one. My MIL is good in that she will babysit for me whenever needed, however she is very opinionated and knows my DH would do anything for her . So she will manipulate him to get her way. I think giving space and being supportive when needed is a good start.

  9. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpysmurf View Post
    i have three sons and i anticipate ill be an awful mil
    not because i don't want to be a good one. just cause im socially awkward and abrasive. not intentionally its just how i seem to come across. not sure how im going to work that into being lovely and welcoming lol

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub
    Who knows, your daughter in laws may be the same, it might be the perfect fit!

  10. #49
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    I love my mother inlaw, we get along, great, shes a lovely lady and we have never ever had any problems my sil on the other and, well thats a whole otheR story!!

  11. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpysmurf View Post
    i have three sons and i anticipate ill be an awful mil
    not because i don't want to be a good one. just cause im socially awkward and abrasive. not intentionally its just how i seem to come across. not sure how im going to work that into being lovely and welcoming lol

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub
    Socially awkward wouldn't bother me. You can still be a great MIL. I find a genuine but socially awkward smile is waaaay better than a confident scowl.

    Its the malignant traits like manipulative, spiteful and cruel that I'm keen to avoid.

    Great MIL - one that likes me, likes her son, and doesn't try to destroy our relationship. That would be enough to keep me happy. She doesn't need to be perfect (gosh, how intimidating would that be!)

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to MissMuppet For This Useful Post:

    laurea  (13-03-2012)


 

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