What makes a great MIL?

[Jennifer50238]

I can tell you what not to do!!
My MIL spends her time when she is here gathering information about me to take away do she can b!tch about me to the rest of her family/friends. She's even tried to whinge to my own mother about me.
She still thinks her son is a child, even though he is 27 and a father. She and her husband still try to 'parent' him which means they try to tell us what to do with our lives. Sorry, I am a 30 year old woman with a career and family of my own!!
She often says things like 'she(me) makes him spend all this money' etc, when I don't tell him what to do at all.

She is jealous of the relationship I have with my husband and hates it when he does lovely things/spoils me.
Ugh, she is a big hassle in my life at the moment, can you tell??

[Peteys Girl]

What makes a good MIL?? Distance!!!!!

[just her chameleon]

What makes a good MIL?? Distance!!!!!

This. LOL and admitting that maybe *just maybe* your daughter in law can look after your precious little boy!

[krystallxx]

What the above two posters said

[mummybynature]

My MIL and I have a great relationship. There are times when she says things I don't agree with but I just smile because at the end of the day I can choose not to listen to her advice. She isn't too overbearing which is fantastic, always calls before she comes over and invites me out for lunch etc. DP and MIL have a great relationship, DP is still very much a mummy's boy which can be annoying at times but that's one of the things I also love about him. I think to be a good MIL you need to respect your DD/DS and their partner's relationship and respect thier opinion as parents. HTH

[bgbgbb]

When she lives in another country!

[zombiekitty]

Support without judgement. That's the biggest thing!
Acceptance as everyone is raised differently.
I also think it's important to realise that your child's choice in partner is theirs and not yours.

[remembertobreathe]

My MIL is the absoloute best, she has taken me under her wing and done more for me mentally and emotionally than my own mother (who seems to have a bit of trouble with that due to her military upbringing).

She is such a positive force in my life. She's helpful, wise, encouraging, motivating, she's just an all time lovely well rounded person. Sh!t i'm lucky.

[SalTheGal]

I haven't read all the replies, so apologies if I'm repeating some...

BUT for me, a MIL is someone who accepts that you probably know their son better than they do (in the long term anyway)... after all once they reach adult hood there is probably an awful lot that the MIL doesn't know about them!

Also accepting that it is a good thing for your son to be partnered... and that they don't belong to the MIL... I think a lot of MIL's seem to have a great deal of diffidulty in giving their precious son "away" to another woman... a MIL should be proud and happy to watch her son blossom in a loving relationship.

I've had a rocky relationship with my MIL... and a lot of that came from her thinking she could butt her nose in, and that she knows her son and his life better than me... um NOPE! Not so!!!

I have two sons too... and this is also something that plays on my mind... I want to try and be the best MIL I can be!

[Jessandmeltrappel]

Tell me about it ..... I've just gotten to the point where I couldn't give two f k n hoots what my mil thinks. We have had a rocky road too but at times we have been close. But fact is. She would side with her daughter anyway. So why even bothered trying to trust her ect ?

Anyways. Rant. Lol

But yeah. I don't even care any more. It's time I started just being happy for me and not even worrying about them.