My MIL is solid gold. She is supportive without being vocally judgmental. She so very very rarely tells tales. She's always the first to offer help and can say 'no' when asked and it doesn't suit her.
I love and respect her much that I asked her to be there for DD's birth
I only hope I can be just like her one day
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30-05-2011 10:44 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
30-05-2011 11:43 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Mutual respect, willing to help if she can.
My MIL is not great at all. i wish I could have MIL that I can talk to.
30-05-2011 12:07 #13
Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I only hope that I will raise fantastic boys who attract a great partner and just try to be there when they need me.
I guess I am scared about losing my boys one day, I have to prompt my DH to call his mum, I buy her presents and I am the one who invites her to things. I just hope my boys and I have a better relationship and they don't forget about me once they meet a partner.
I wish I had a great MIL like some of you! Thanks for the tips!!
30-05-2011 12:13 #14
30-05-2011 12:32 #15
Sometimes I get along great with MIL, but more often than not she can be way too dramatic and I just simply cant deal.. Haha...
A great mother in law would be someone who is easy to get along with, supportive, and more like a friend then anything.
You have inspired me to do a spin off.............. after I pretty much typed a novel outlining what i have learnt from my MIL.. HAHA!! *Stay tuned
30-05-2011 12:35 #16
* respecting the parents are parents and grandparents are not.
* recognizing that while you did a wonderful job raising your children 30 years have passed and so the information available and research done is different. 'back in myyyy day...' pfft back in your day asbestos was a building material & the 'non toxic' weed killer my dad used at work was later found to have caused the birth defects - the one that killed their first baby so umm NO just because 'it worked for you' doesn't mean that current research doesn't say DON'T DO IT! (like alcohol for teething and farax in a bottle with the nipple sliced off :-/ and that formula is absolutely better than breast milk in a thriving baby and take it upon yourself to feed a 6 month old whole egg before mum has tested it when she's and the daddy are screaming 'NO don't feed that to him!!!!!' :-/ )
* remember your first baby or when you had new babies. And that everyone is different any way but remember it's a special time so no you can't assume you'll baby sit straight away, don't expect to be invited over all the time and don't sook when breast feeding takes priority over 'your turn' to hold.
* that constant unwanted advice is considered 'meddling'
* don't go behind the mum & dads back and give a baby sweets!
* watch your grand child and respond to them. Not your idea of how babies should be or how you were with your babies, recognized your grandchild as the beautiful individual they are - if getting over excited and screeching at them when they are tiny newborn makes them cry STOP it! And when they keep crying every time you go near them MAYBE that's a sign! And if your toddler grandchild is actually now afraid of you don't friggin grab at them!!!!!!!! And then screech ' What's wrong with you?!? What's wrong with him?!? What's the matter?!?' while they cry and cling to mumma.
Hmmmm - I <3 moving interstate away from my inlaws!!!
My mum has spent months 'earning' the right with Jasper to ask for a cuddle and kiss and he gives them to her on his terms and he loves her so much because she'd been quiet and reads his body language and listens to him and played with him and spent lots of time building a relationship with him instead of trying to force a relationship with him.
And anyone my son loves that much is fine by me <3
The Following User Says Thank You to Boobycino For This Useful Post:
30-05-2011 16:39 #17
I saw the spin off AP, I'll catch up on it when the kids go to bed. Wet weather here and the kids are driving me nuts!
Booby- u sound like u have a complicated relationship with your MIL too! My own mum often gives me that "in my day" line & it drives me crazy! I wish I had a wise MIL who wanted to be a friend, we have to parent the MIL and often call her our 3rd child LOL!
Will we remember this when we are all MIL's?
30-05-2011 17:12 #18
I love my mil she is like a mum to me, they took me in when i left home. And where very supportive of us when we got preggers at 17.
She also helps out when ever she can. Im very happy tht i got her as a mil
31-05-2011 15:16 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
i think my mil is great because she lives interstate and never visits.
I guess i would like her more if she lived on another continent.
Sorry sad but true- she is a sore point at the moment.
31-05-2011 15:42 #20
A good mother in law should stand back and let you learn. She can offer kind advice but it's best that we have a chance or few at trying to learn things for ourselves in the parenting world.
My mother in law is an idiot. She thinks she is the best mother that ever walked the planet. She forgets how different things are today, that mothers work , have different types of stress and just do things differently.
A good mother in law should not gossip about you with the rest of the family. And if she does she should be shot.
A good mother and law should never ring and abuse you, or stick her massive nose in when she hears a rumour that you may have had an argument or huge fight with your husband. No matter the circumstances it is none of her business and she has absolutely no right to butt in.
In my case I would love my mother in law if she evaporated. That would be the perfect mother in law.
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