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  1. #21
    RoarsomeMum's Avatar
    RoarsomeMum is offline Right to speak, responsibility to listen..
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    Jul 2006
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    to every broken heart here..

    I was told, and I was glad I was told.. BUT I was told with the help of psychologists to try and help me understand. It hurt, it still hurts.. but at least now I know it was not me, not my fault.. Not even her fault really.

    Mum was Brave enough to do an anonymous article in our local paper focusing on the silence on PND. It was over 20 years ago and I can STILL remember the very last line and how much it hurt.

    "I can put my arms around my youngest daughter, she is 18 now, and tell her I love her and it feels O.K."

  2. #22
    Leeny's Avatar
    Leeny is offline ADMINISTRATOR
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    May 2006
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    My mum has never once... EVER told me that she loved me. My dh has a mother with mental and personality issues and she could still tell her son she loved him.

    I would love to hear it, just once. I'm sure she does, but why does it need to be unspoken? I tell my dd EVERY single day that I love her, more times then I can count a day. I make sure that every night I tuck her in and tell her I love her before she goes to sleep..

    SPC, how old is your mum? I don't know if it's a generational thing? I don't know, mums a bit cold anyway.. Doesn't cry infront of people, can't show affection or tell someone she loves them. I don't know if she ever told me she loved me as a baby, but I assume not. If your able to say it to a baby, surely you'd keep saying it as a child gets old enough to actually respond and say they love you back??

    to you.. It wouldn't have been nice to hear. Did you tell her you were hurt by it or ask her why she thinks she may not have felt love for you?

  3. #23
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    My mum told me a few years ago that she believes she has an attachment disorder as she doesn't, and never has, loved anyone in her whole life. I assume her two children were counted in that.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Singlepregnantchick View Post
    She realised immediately and said sorry. It was one of those thoughtless comments that just came out. She's done the same thing when talking about why she didn't breastfeed me - literally said that she found the idea of me near her breasts repulsive.

    Huge hugs to everyone who has experienced similar moments. It's so sad for us and our Mums.
    oh babe, this brought tears to my eyes. i'm sorry

  5. #25
    SPC's Avatar
    SPC is offline Senior Member
    Winner 2010- The Most Passionate Crusader Award
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    Leeny - she's 69, and comes from a fairly harsh irish upbringing. She remarked many times that my Aunt, [before she hanged herself in her daughter's house when her daughter was pregnant with her first grandchild], somehow managed to raise four kids by helself who would openly express love and affection for her, and she didn't know how. In retrosepct it seems she terrified my cousins into it! I do find it hard to tell her that I love her, as she never said it to me. It's a sad state of affairs. Esme is told every day too and she tells me how much she loves me and it's soooo lovely.

    The other unfortunate side effect is that I have quite a notable history of getting attched to men who are relatively unmoved by me and trying to get them to love me, and as soon as they do I loose interest. Trying to overcome that one, but I find it hard not to be suspicious of somebody who is really into me. At least Esme's psychological issues will be entriely different to mine!


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