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  1. #11
    MilkingMaid's Avatar
    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    Well as a rule of thumb 'they' reckon it takes about a month for every year you have been with someone to heal from a bust relationship, and i often see 2 years referred to when getting over a serious relationship.

    But yes everyone is different.

    I've been single for 18 months now after a 14 year relationship, i'm still a bit bruised and battered, but if I didn't have a 2 yr old who is a limpet, I think I might go looking for a bit of light relief

    5 weeks does seem pretty fast, but only you know what is right. Just be careful you are not submerging the hurt with the high of a new relationship, 'cos those feelings will often pop up again and need to be addressed down the road anyway.

    Take care

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by MagicalLeopluradon View Post
    I really like him, no-one has ever spoken to me the way he does, he really is sweet. He wants to come over again tomorrow, I said no I said I think for now just once a week, I dont want to rush anything and I guess if he really is into me he is going to have to accept that I need time?
    You are so switched on it's amazing! I think you're right that he will need to give you time. He says he's scared that if you're not 'together' that he'll loose you, but you need to let him know that by pushing for something more than a good friend he's going to loose you too.

    Quote Originally Posted by MagicalLeopluradon View Post
    And I still want some time to myself, I feel as if I need some time for just me because for years I have always been with someone, but yeah like you said I may feel better in a week or 2 xx
    That's such an insightful thing to say. You definitely need to know yourself and be comfortable on your own before you can be a strong person in a partnership. You need to stand on your own first.


    Quote Originally Posted by BRBgoneinsane View Post
    Ive been single for over 1 months and have my first date next week. He seems really sweet and is like the male version of me. Been talking alot but I don't know if I want to get into another relationship! Both LTR I have been in, I couldnt have gotten it more wrong with my choice and worried about doing it again. Now I have DS to think of. After both relationships, the guy took everything and I had to start again and Im not willing to do that again, too bloody hard! My trust in men has been damaged pretty badly by both men as well
    OK, are we twins or something? Both my LTR were terrible for me, and walked out of both with very little. Now I'm talking to a guy who is 100% the male version of me. I've also told this guy that he can't expect ANYTHING from me on any level. He knows my DS comes first.

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    HELPihavea2yrold!  (15-04-2011)

  4. #13
    MagicalLeopluradon's Avatar
    MagicalLeopluradon is offline Shun the non believer shunnnn shunnnnnn
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    Thanks AM & Izy, I have done a lot of thinking over night and I reaaaaally dont feel like I am ready for a relationship. Honestly, it scares me. Ahhhh.

  5. #14
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    Start dating whenever you feel comfortable, there isn't any right time.

    Just take it slow if that feels right, if 1 day a week does it then thats perfect

  6. #15
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    I don't think there is any right or wrong time frame, I think it all depends on how you feel and what you are comfortable with, that is all that matters. As long as you feel you are ready and know it's for the right reasons, then go for it. If you need more time, then don't let him push you into it before you are ready.

  7. #16
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    I like this saying 'Im single and your going to have to be pretty darn awesome to change that'
    Im happily single, I dated two guys last year both didnt last long as they weren't awesome enough The first guy I dated was in May '10' so DD was almost 3 and a half and thats the same amount of time I'd been single for. Second guy was in november '10'

    I agree that everyone is different but I think its nice to take some time away from dating and just focus on finding who you are again. The right guy will wait But I also think that you will feel it in your gut if its meant to be.

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  9. #17
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    I believe you need to give yourself some time. From what you have posted it seems what you want, but on the otherhand it is kinda nice to have someone interested in you. Normally a man would be extremely cautious I would have thought knowing what you have just been through, therefore shouldn't be putting pressure or expectations on you. Please don't go from one bad experience to another, keep your eyes wide open.


    Also you have come out of a unhealthy relationship - will your ex cause problems? It is very very soon after a break-up. There are probably alot of unfinished issues ie: child access and so forth that need working through, it is unlikely that it would be smooth sailing this early on?

    I feel it is best to feel confident and happy with your own life prior to jumping into another relationship. There is a handy book called 'the rule' a dating guide that may be helpful.

    do what you feel is right.

  10. #18
    tiggerfields's Avatar
    tiggerfields is offline Priestess of Kult K'iesha... Mooo!
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    The other girls are right - everyone is different. You'll know when the time is right. It sounds like you're setting firm boundaries according to what feels right for you, right now. That's perfect, all you need to do. Enjoy being treated well and getting to know your new guy

  11. #19
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    MagicalLeopluradon is offline Shun the non believer shunnnn shunnnnnn
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    Thanks everyone so much for your input.

    Each day I feel a bit better, I have actually just got my ex out of our lives for good (I hope) basically he chose to drink all weekend then see his son so I said enough is enough you had your chance he cant keep doing this to him.

    I dont know how my ex would be if he found out, not really sure.

    I have told this new guy many times that I have alot going on and he said he is prepared to wait and he has been waiting for someone like me to come along for so long and doesnt want to loose that so um yeah guess I will just see what happens!

  12. #20
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    I'm not excited of the idea of Ex's reaction if/when a new boyfriend is on the scene.


 

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