Congratulations treenz, hi mum2chris.
I hear ya mum2chris about wondering how long you keep going for. I think only you and your partner can decide that. How is Ivf going?
We're seeing a specialist at the end of may. I get upset seeing pregnant women and people with 2 young kids, and I think only if you're going through this do you understand. I tried to explain to my sister but she didn't get it.
Poor DH also said he said I have been so moody and depressed since we've been trying to make a family, he said I wasn't like this before. He's right, but I don't want to give up yet. We will try Ivf, luckily he's supportive but it's hard on a relationship.
Hope you are going ok, I'm seeing a psychologist at the end of the month too to see if she can make me feel better. I just don't want to be depressed all the time through the trying.
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16-05-2012 10:55 #421Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Last edited by Luckyme1; 16-05-2012 at 13:19.
18-05-2012 09:49 #422
Treenz, was going through my emails and your BH post came up!! OMG I so needed to see that. I am so incredibly happy for you and the same as Shelby, my eyes welled up too reading it as it could also be my life. It's coming up to three years for us now too and no results. I'm holding on though just.
Shelby, excited to read you will be ttc #2 soon and getting married!! Exciting times ahead. When is the wedding? We are also getting married on October 2nd in Fiji and I'm excited but starting to stress over it all coming together nicely.
MumtoChris and Luckyme1, argh I feel both your pain. Mum2chris, when is your next IVF cycle? We are having a break before our wedding but I have four frosties waiting, but I have absolutely no faith in them working for some reason. I feel like just starting over with a completely new clinic when we get back from the wedding in October. Infertility is lonely but I think secondary infertility can be an even lonlier place sometimes. I read an online article the other day and it summed it up well, I was bawling reading it. It was in the Telegraph and the article was aptly called "One is not enough."
18-05-2012 10:52 #423Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
You must send me a link to the article, good luck with your fabulous wedding in Fiji. How awesome.
We're seeing a FS in 11 days and nervous about it. If she does suggest Ivf I want to know how many cycles at most one should do. I don't want to do it for two years max and then look at other options, because of my low eggs and age we will consider egg donation. The other option is doing long term foster care. I don't think I could do adoption with a five year waiting period, especially as you have to have had finished Ivf before you can apply so it just extends it out even longer. I would be 46 and not sure if I could wait that long, I would rather do long term foster care instead.
So the question I have is how many cycles is time to stop?
Thanks and hello to everyone else spreading baby dust'
18-05-2012 13:58 #424
DD I have missed you I keep my eye out for diary updates all the time.
Wedding is in 6 days and have just gone off the pill last week, lots of organizing for the wedding and feeling overwhelmed but it's getting there. I just finished work and now have 2 weeks off, hoping to make a bub on our honeymoon in Thailand!
Baby dust to all!!
19-05-2012 12:01 #425
Luckyme – I don’t really know how long to keep trying for, I would like to say when I’m pregnant, but who knows if /when that will ever happen. Do I keep trying for another 4 years when DS is 11? I really don’t know, I just think that age gap is waaaaaaaaaaay too big. Sometimes I feel I just want to be pregnant so I know I can do it one more time, I hate it when I think like that, because I know it’s silly and having a child is not a game, but I feel like I’ve come this far and spent all this money for what, nothing? That just frustrates me. I’m so excited that you’re seeing a specialist soon and you are absolutely 100% right that unless you are going through something (in our case secondary infertility) you just cannot understand what it is like to live with it. Well, if your sister can’t understand then let us be your online sisters and we can feel each other’s pain.
I’m sorry you are feeling depressed and moody, I feel the same but unlike you I just can’t see a psychologist. We have one available to us through the clinic but I don’t think anything she will say will make me feel better. Please let me know how you go, I might change my mind. Some days after I’ve dropped DS off to school I just come home and sleep all day until it’s time to pick him up. I have gradually got myself out of this habit, I think the time heal all wounds and taking each day as it comes clichés is what’s helping me through my depression. Then from depression comes guilt as I know I am blessed with a son but unfortunately this does not make me feel any better, even though I am lucky to have him.
Daydreamer – I have been thinking about you lately, so glad to hear from you, was hoping all was well. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, my anniversary is on October 21st, hope you have a beautiful day and bring back a honeymoon baby. My next IVF cycle is in July, I’m currently just taking all my regular supplements in preparation of cycle no. 5. I truly believed I sabotaged my last cycle as it was the first time I had not 1 but 2 embryo’s reach blastocyst stage and both transferred on day 5 just for me to overdose them on pineapple juice. I misread the intake of pineapple after transfer, I was supposed to just cut the core out of the pineapple and cut it into 5 pieces and eat one piece a day for 5 days after transfer. INSTEAD I drunk 2 litres of pineapple juice a day for almost 2 weeks after transfer. The acidity in pineapple juice (or its flesh) is an absolute NO NO when TTC, or any acidic food for that matter. I told my FS who just laughed it off saying that was bullsh1t but I am convinced that’s what caused my BFN. Also I had a large blood clot about 3-4 weeks after transfer and I know those little embies were trying to implant if it wasn’t for their idiot mother drinking too much pineapple juice. I wish I get the chance to have 1 or 2 more beautiful embies to implant in July, I promise I’ll just drink water (which has to be at room temperature, no super cold drinks or food, ahhhhh so much to think of).
Enjoy your TTC break and focus on organising your wedding day, your frosties will be waiting for you when you come back from Fiji. If you do change clinics I’ve heard you can transfer your frosties to the new clinic, but I’m not too sure. Have you got any other clinics in mind?I also 100% agree with what you said Daydreamer about secondary infertility being an even lonelier place at times, because we have our DS it’s a constant reminder of what we once were able to achieve and now it’s been taken away from us.
I Googled the article you mentioned, was a good read, here is the link Luckyme (I’m sure it’s the same article as DD referred to) http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/wo...ot-enough.html
Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone
Last edited by AceOfBase; 19-05-2012 at 12:08.
20-05-2012 08:39 #426Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
Mum2chris, I'd love to be your online sister. I've been seeing a psychologist for a while now and I really recommend it. She has really kept me sane.
There have been times when I feel myself getting unhinged so I go and have a chat and it really helps and I can keep going for a couple of months. It doesn't change the situation but it helps me deal with it better. Sometimes I think having somebody look at your head from a different perspective and giving tips to help deal with your thoughts can really help. If you've got the opportunity to see someone for free in your clinic I would really recommend it. You've got nothing to lose and it might really help you.
Of course this is a really good place to vent as well, so vent away! Have a beautiful day.
Everyone else have a beautiful day too. Shelby good luck with the wedding.
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21-05-2012 11:53 #427
Thanks for your well wishes ladies - felt like I had to tell you all firstly to give you hope as clearly it can happen and secondly so you didn't think I'd dropped off the face of the planet. We are 6 weeks so its only very early days.
I've actually not told anyone in real life yet at all - can't until we see the scan and know everything is ok - at the mo its our little secret.
Had to pop back in to say a big congratulations in advance for your wedding Shelby have a lovely time away and baby #2 is conceived on your honeymoon - how special
DD I know its been a hard road for you to date but that will make it all the more special when you do get that don't give up - it WILL happen. I have been doing lots of research on IVF as we were going to go down that road in the next few months and from lots of the forums etc I've read a lot say they got better results & ended up with a BFP at a different clinic - also the Colorado protocol is raved about for those struggling with IVF - hopefully you work out the right combination of factors and your #2 is waiting right around the corner Yay wedding in Fiji to look forward too
Mum to Chris and Luckyme1 - online sisters sound awesome and you really need someone to lean on during this whole horrible TTC business - good luck to you both
Anyway lovely ladies keep me updated on your progress - I'll read along if not posting anyhow - trying to keep off these websites as I start obsessively goggling all that can go wrong in pregnancy which isn't healthy.
Love and to you all xx
22-05-2012 06:37 #428
Treenz I'm so happy for you, keep us updated on your progress!
2 more sleeps yay!!!
22-05-2012 19:51 #429
Oooh Shelby so exciting! Are you nervous? Hope you have a perfect day and a honeymoon baby would be awesome! I love the pic in your avatar! He looks such a happy boy.
Treenz, definetly update us on progress it really is very exciting and I was worried you had dropped off the face of the planet lol. Thanks for the words of encouragement, I do still believe it will happen one day so at least I've still got hope. I have also read about the colorado protocol and thats why I want to change clinics as our FS thinks it's all a load of BS but I'm still not pregant with him! I think I've found an FS who is known to be a bit of a rebel which I like so we will look into it after the wedding!
Mum2chris, wow July is coming up really soon! We were thinking of transferrring our embies then but I'm not sure. I really just feel it will be a waste of time as the whole cycle was such a disaster. Please try not to be too hard on yourself about the pineapple although I know it's hard. I've been eating so bad lately and not sticking to my accupuncturists diet. I eat cold food especially icecream and sugar and wheat. Oh dear I can't seem to stop now I've started again and finding so hard to get motivated again so of course I think I'm harming my chances of getting pregant. I also suffer from bouts of depression since all this and I've never been like that before. I sometimes just want to be alone and like a hermit, sticking my head in the sand! I really struggle to get out of bed somedays and I hate feeling this way and then think I don't deserve to be a mother because I'm not being the best I can for the one I've got.
22-05-2012 20:06 #430
I wasn't finished lol, but the computer just posted it. Anyway mum2Chris I am sure if you have done it once you WILL get two more perfect blasts to put back in and next time you will have done everything you know you could of to help them stay. Our clinic don't like to do blast stage so another reason I want to leave. Are you in Melb? I'm thinking of changing to Monash from MelbIVF. You have MFI too don't you?
Luckyme1, I don't really know that you can set a limit but I guess some might cope better with knowing their limit. My Dp wanted me to set a limit but I wouldn't. I can't really put a price on it and I have to just listen to my gut. When we first started IVF I was so eager and just wanted to jump straight in and when that cycle failed I wanted another straight away, after our last disaster cycle I emotionally and physically needed a break, but only now I'm starting to feel ready again. I think listen to yourself, don't rush it, do your research as you are your best advocate, make sure you are happy with your FS! Ask questions and just go along for the ride. I really hope it is a very short ride! Keep in mind though that they do say it can take at least three full cycles. The first cycle is like trial and error really. Also try not to be afraid of IVF. I was so angry and upset we needed it I went into it with the wrong frame of mind. Make it a time to really look after yourself
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