I know ive done this thread before but i really need more advice please.
I had ante-natal today.
I was seen by the midwife within 15min (really quick for once)
I told her about my period pain, my dancing lights, my puffiness and my headaches, she took my BP which was higher than normal. She suggested i get a ctg done just to be safe,she also checked my protein levels, which was a bit higher than normal but within range.
So she gets me to wait to see the Dr before sending me to the maternity ward.
I see the Dr he asks me about my symptoms ect then asks about whether i had these probs with DS and looks through my file to see.
Then he sees my labour record for DS. Thats where it gets sh*t. He asks me about my labour ect (BP and headache probs forgotten, i didnt get a ctg either btw) i sit there for 30min trying to defend my choice for a VB while being told all research points to the fact that if i VB again ill have a colostomy bag by the time im 50. I tried to explain that i am doing everything different this time, he tells me that nothing i do will prevent damage being done, unless i have a csec. The whole, no drugs, perenium massage, active labour, gravity, nothing. The baby coming out my vagina and not my stomach is what will cause the damage. Especially as im likely to have a larger baby and ive only got scar tissue down there which doesnt stretch, therefore im more likely to tear again
So now i have no idea what to do. I still want a VB, i really really really dont want a csec. I wont cope. Ill be by myself after the csec, to look after DS and a new baby,tocook,clean, drive for 6wks, ect ect. DP cant afford to take more than a week off work. I wont cope, i wont be able to do anything. I asked for a growth scan to predict size before imade my decision, he tells me sure but they are inaccurate, you may be told you are having a small baby but have a big one anyway, which i know but he shot me down again, he wouldnt let me find anything positive about the situation. Thats now 2drs (one is bias as he is there for DS, and the other thinks the first dr is a god) who told me i need a csec and three middies who told me i dont. What do i do?
Anyway he finally let it go after i was too upset to talk, instead he printed me out info, which basically backed up everything I have researched, i had no probs with my tears after DS, no incontinence or anything it healed within a few wks, ive had no probs since. The research says im fine to VB again. But who wants to be told theyll need a poo bag for the rest of their life? Its a risk, it may be a small one, but really is it a risk i should avoid? A csec is way more dangerous but im expected to choose that option? Ive gotten two opinions, should i try find another? and another? until i find one who agrees with me or should i just choose the csec to make everyone else happy.
So anyway he let that go and checked me out, my Fundal height is 38wks, at 34wks. I now weigh 85kg, 10kg gain. I had to get a blood test and do a 24hr urine collection to check my kidney function. And i have to go see him next week.
WWYD? I know nobody can really tell me what to do but im at a loss, on one hand i know its just scare tactics, but on the other i dont want to risk a bag later in life.
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Results 1 to 10 of 17
29-03-2011 15:39 #1
3rd deg tear, csec question.
29-03-2011 15:55 #2
Honey don't let him intimidate you! What a douche bag.. Grrr they make me soooo mad!
You've answered you own question hub, you said you dint want a c/s so don't. It's not his damn choice, it's yours. Your body your baby your right to choose the way he he will enter the world. And what a load of crappola re the 'research' he is pulling. What a load of ****! I'd make a complaint to the head of obstetrics at the hospital. They are NOT allowed to use scare tactics and intimidation like he is doing. I'd also request never to see him again either.
29-03-2011 16:09 #3
Its a rural hospy so he is the only dr for the maternity ward, the other is on holidays (he thinks i need a csec too)
I know i can VB, i have no doubts about that, but im now worried it will cause me irreparable damage. It is my body and i do have a choice, but what do i choose? A Csec, which i really dont want or a VB that may very well leave me incontinent
29-03-2011 16:17 #4
Its really something that you need to weigh up.
I had a 2nd degree tear from my 1st birth, the Dr did a bad job stitching it up, then when i got it repaired he stuffed it even more. I now have paper thin perinium. which has now left me with incontinence. When i feel pregnant with DS2 i was going for a VB, a C/S didn't even occur to me at the time until a midwife suggested it.
She said that with my damage i would most likely end up with a colostomy bag if i tore again.
I decided to have the C/S. Im really happy with my decision, i still have incontinence which has completely ruined my life and i have SO many issues now, I now suffer OCD, agoriphobia and different anxiety disorders. I have other health issues from it as well like continuous thrush, urine infections. But the worse is the mental problems that have come from it. I see a psychologist weekly to help but it doesn't do that much.
Anyway i don't want to scare you, but there is that possibility that you will tear again and it can cause extensive unrepairable damage, and its something you need to weigh up.
You may birth just fine next time, plenty of women have done it before without complications. But its something you need to weigh up.
For me, having already been through the emotional trauma, the mental problems i now have and everything else, a VB was out of the question, there was no way i was adding a colostomy bag to the list.
Good luck, i hope you can come to a decision you are happy with and if you do decide to have the VB, my fingers are crossed that you won't tear!
29-03-2011 16:19 #5
29-03-2011 16:19 #6
I see ladies birth all the time after 3rd deg tears. I won't lie.. There may be an increased risk, however your aware of things to do to help that. Perineal massage, breathing baby out, non directed pushing, gravity etc all can and will help.
29-03-2011 16:22 #7
29-03-2011 17:35 #8
My sil had quite bad tearing ( 3rd almost 4th) and the doctors have given her the option of either vb or cs. She's been told there is no reason why she can't vb it's just up to her. The system is very different here compared to Australia though.
29-03-2011 17:54 #9
i had no ide about any of this! I had a 3rd degree (nearly 4th) tear with my 1st and just assumed with my next i could just have a VB. I never thought about what would happen if i tore again
29-03-2011 19:12 #10
So basically he told me it doesnt matter if i tear again, or if the baby is smaller just that having a VB is enough to increase the risk of damage being done.
I had to have surgery (under GA) to repair the damage to my perineum (and higher) and my sphincter. But i havent had problems with it at all since, my bowel and bladder works perfectly.
I was thinking i will ask my GP (who in an ex-OB) and see what he says, if he says csec ill ask for a referral to a specialist. Ive only got about 4wks to organise all this and a specialist might not be an option here anyway.
Im 100% certain i can VB, i have no doubt that i can. But i dont want it to cause me damage. Then i also have to think that a csec is risky as well so if the odds of something going wrong in csec is a1 in 100 chance and the risk of me getting a bag is a 1 in 10000 chance then i will choose the option that is less dangerous to the baby. I just dont know what to do, i want someone to decide FOR me yk? Or flip a coin, both situations arnt ideal.
Dr said all this could be academic anyway (not sure what he meant by that) as i might be developing PE.
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