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  1. #491
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    i went back to work 3 days when ds was 6 months. getting a break and regaining some sense of identity was definitely part of the reason. i don't see any shame in that though; not everyone aspires to or is cut out for the sahm life. if going back to work helps you, then don't stress about it. do what feels good and don't judge yourself, easier said than done i know xx

  2. #492
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    @Petulia your twins are 4 mo right? I went back to work when my baby was 6mo and it was the best thing I ever did!

    It was so good to be back into pretty clothes, to have time for coffee, to be able to have adulte conversations.

    My children thrive in childcare. They love it, it's like their second home/family. I don't have any other support and I'm not ashamed of having to pay for my village.

    Could you maybe go back to work part time and your DH goes part time too?
    I'm mostly worried about them getting sick in childcare and having to deal with them being more unsettled. I've heard kids get sick all the time in childcare especially the first year.

  3. #493
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    Default Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    Quote Originally Posted by Petulia View Post
    I'm mostly worried about them getting sick in childcare and having to deal with them being more unsettled. I've heard kids get sick all the time in childcare especially the first year.
    You could look into family daycare where there are less kids or use an au pair. 2 kids in fulltime daycare would cost about $500 per week .. Based on 50% rebate.. And $100 per day fee., however as low income if not working You would get a larger discount. Comparing to an au pair.. Demi pair live in 20 hrs per week for no cost just food and board.... $180 for 30 hrs per week live in ..up to 40hrs per week for $250. No rebate payable for au pairs though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kylie764 View Post
    You could look into family daycare where there are less kids or use an au pair. 2 kids in fulltime daycare would cost about $500 per week .. Based on 50% rebate.. And $100 per day fee., however as low income if not working You would get a larger discount. Comparing to an au pair.. Demi pair live in 20 hrs per week for no cost just food and board.... $180 for 30 hrs per week live in ..up to 40hrs per week for $250. No rebate payable for au pairs though.
    I'd be a bit worried about family day care, have seen some shockers around. And this house is tiny, no room for anyone to live in. If anything I would do childcare or nanny, or take the stay at home dad option.

  5. #495
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    Quote Originally Posted by Petulia View Post
    I'm mostly worried about them getting sick in childcare and having to deal with them being more unsettled. I've heard kids get sick all the time in childcare especially the first year.
    It really depends on each child(ren). My first had a couple of days off childcare in his first year. He's rarely ever sick nowadays.

    My second child had been more frequently sick when she started child care. She got sick every second week for maybe ~2 months.
    It sounds bad but it was a matter of keeping her home 2 days the week she was sick and then she was back into care. So my husband would take one day off and I would take the other.
    After the initial 2 months she was hardly ever sick.

    If you start them at the end of winter they won't get so sick.

    Also my babies were better sleeper when sick (cause they were so tired I guess)

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    Petulia  (28-05-2017)

  7. #496
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    It really depends on each child(ren). My first had a couple of days off childcare in his first year. He's rarely ever sick nowadays.

    My second child had been more frequently sick when she started child care. She got sick every second week for maybe ~2 months.
    It sounds bad but it was a matter of keeping her home 2 days the week she was sick and then she was back into care. So my husband would take one day off and I would take the other.
    After the initial 2 months she was hardly ever sick.

    If you start them at the end of winter they won't get so sick.

    Also my babies were better sleeper when sick (cause they were so tired I guess)
    Mine are both premmie so I think lower immunity. They were recently sick with gastro and not much fun to be around, very grizzly and off their food. One sick, okay, two sick at the same time......

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    had a horrible night, i hate myself even more tonight. have started sh!t with dh, said horrible things and cried because as sh!t as i know my behavior is, i feel powerless to stop it. i've become a horrid vile person, dh and ds would be better off without me. why can't i just shrug trigger things off and be normal? don't even know what's wrong with me but i'm so sick of myself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    had a horrible night, i hate myself even more tonight. have started sh!t with dh, said horrible things and cried because as sh!t as i know my behavior is, i feel powerless to stop it. i've become a horrid vile person, dh and ds would be better off without me. why can't i just shrug trigger things off and be normal? don't even know what's wrong with me but i'm so sick of myself.
    A counsellor might be able to help with managing the triggers. Your DH and DS need you and love you xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    had a horrible night, i hate myself even more tonight. have started sh!t with dh, said horrible things and cried because as sh!t as i know my behavior is, i feel powerless to stop it. i've become a horrid vile person, dh and ds would be better off without me. why can't i just shrug trigger things off and be normal? don't even know what's wrong with me but i'm so sick of myself.
    Because when your mood is not right it's hard to just shrug things off. I feel like mine would be better off without me too, I'm certainly not contributing anything at the moment. Dads leave all the time, why can't mums? That's what I think anyway. Everyone keeps telling me it will get easier, blah blah blah, but what if I'm just not the mothering type? How do I know what is my PND and what is me?

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    turquoisecoast  (30-05-2017)

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    had a horrible night, i hate myself even more tonight. have started sh!t with dh, said horrible things and cried because as sh!t as i know my behavior is, i feel powerless to stop it. i've become a horrid vile person, dh and ds would be better off without me. why can't i just shrug trigger things off and be normal? don't even know what's wrong with me but i'm so sick of myself.
    Big hugs. I feel like this pretty much everyday 😔 something simple that has helped me is I now have an exercise bike and jump on it even just for 2 min peddle really fast and i find it helps clear my head and relieves the anxiety a bit. Its a spin bike so the cold air blowing on me also helps.

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