(Okay, hugging probably contradicts my stern look...)
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18-03-2011 11:10 #41Senior Member
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18-03-2011 11:10 #42has left the building
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When DD1 was a baby she never slept well. She would frequently wake every hour or just be up for hours and hours in the middle of the night.
One night i'd just had it with the lack of sleep and was struggling to keep it together. Then i screamed at my baby something along the lines of 'Why don't you just f'in go to sleep' then i fell into a heap and bawled my eyes out beside the cot while DD screamed to be picked up
18-03-2011 11:13 #43
18-03-2011 11:18 #44
So many stories here that I am relating to. I don't think this sort of stuff is talked about often enough and that's why we all feel such massive guilt about it. Everyone goes on about how much they love their children (which we all do!) but these sorts of feelings are normal and need to be discussed too. Big hugs to everyone
18-03-2011 11:31 #45-
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Last edited by Guest1234; 15-01-2012 at 12:34.
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18-03-2011 11:37 #46
I have no patience whatsoever.I just get sooo angry and scream,and swear and what not.
Sometimes I can just simply not be bothered anymore,and dream about running away and living a selfish,carefree life(not that I could ever go through with it!)
18-03-2011 11:48 #47
Before DS was born I had all these ideas about the sort of parent I wanted to be. 16 months on, DS still doesn't sleep through and sleep depravation has made me do and say things that break my heart. I hate that I am so tired some days I feed my son crap that just needs to be thrown in the oven or microwave. I fantasize about going away on my own for a night or two. Not time away with DH or friends but time away with me in my own. I feel selfish for mourning myself and I adore my DS he's fabulous but he is so full on all the time and I am so tired I just want a break. I hate that I resent my DH for sleeping through DS crying and that I am jealous of my friends who have mothers or MILs that help as my MIL is dead and my mother a selfish cow who couldn't care less about me or DS. Just writing this makes me want to cry. I love my son but it feels like it will never end and I will never feel rested again. I so wanted to be a happy mother who cooked nutritious balanced meals, never raised my voice in anger to my child and certainly one that never wished above all else for alone time.
I love my DH and DS so deeply that I never want to feel ugly resentful thoughts about them and I hate in my sleep deprived haze that I am not the best me and they do not get the lovely and loving wife and mother they deserve. That's my shameful mothering.
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18-03-2011 11:52 #48
Mine is stupid because there is nothing that could have changed it.
I am filled with guilt that eats me up inside everyday. I blame myself for my kids hearing loss. Its a genetic thing so its my genes that caused it. Im scared to have a 3rd baby because i dont want it to happen again
It seems so stupid when i type it out. Ive never told anyone about it either. Its stupid because its such a minor disability to get so upset about.
Big hugs to everyone
18-03-2011 12:04 #49
Mine is one I just committed.... I Just bribed dd to go to bed by sending her in there with a piece of chocolate. Insert embarrassed face here!!!!!
Might I add... It worked... Ate it, no tanti, and mow I'm relaxing on the couch.
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18-03-2011 12:04 #50
I feel huge amounts of guilt that my son was IUGR....my placenta stopped working....I'm sure that's because of something I did.
I loved the baby stage, but am not enjoying the toddler stage at all. He is not even 2 yet and already I pull my hair out on a daily basis and wonder how I am going to cope with him when he is actually in the "terrible twos". Some days I lose my patience with him so easily. I feel like I should do more to entertain him and keep him happy, then he might not throw so many tantrums.
I feel guilty that I had to return to work and put him into daycare. Now he gets colds all the time which for him leads to asthma. If he wasn't at daycare, I know he would not get sick all the time.
Everyone says I am such a good mum....if only they could be a fly on the wall, then they would see the truth. My sister??? Now, that's someone who has their sh!t together!
I can look after the sickest of babies at work and have no freakin idea how to be a mum some days..........
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