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  1. #471
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    My shameful secret is that I tried so hard for may years to get pregnant and now I am a mother I feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life. And I just want to run away and have nothing to do with any of it.

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    Waggers70  (27-05-2017)

  3. #472
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    Quote Originally Posted by Petulia View Post
    My shameful secret is that I tried so hard for may years to get pregnant and now I am a mother I feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life. And I just want to run away and have nothing to do with any of it.
    Huge, huge hugs. I have frequent moments like this. How old is your little one? Have you spoken to a dr about this?

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    Petulia  (26-05-2017)

  5. #473
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    They (twins) are 4 months. Spoken to many people about it, GP, psychiatrist, psychologist - waiting for the medication to helpfully work and then for proper treatment to get happening. In the meantime I feel like I will never feel any different and never adjust to motherhood. There are women who abandon their children. What if I end up being one of those women? This option at the moment seems like a possible solution to me.

  6. #474
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    Quote Originally Posted by Petulia View Post
    They (twins) are 4 months. Spoken to many people about it, GP, psychiatrist, psychologist - waiting for the medication to helpfully work and then for proper treatment to get happening. In the meantime I feel like I will never feel any different and never adjust to motherhood. There are women who abandon their children. What if I end up being one of those women? This option at the moment seems like a possible solution to me.
    After the birth of my fourth child I felt like it (it being life in general) would never get easier. It was a horrible, overwhelmingly strong feeling that often came out of nowhere. With treatment for my anxiety it did get easier and better. I very occasionally get that feeling now but not as strongly and I am able to tell myself that I've thought that before and got through it. You will get through it and it will get better, keep holding on. Good job seeking help, give the medication time, seek immediate help if it's not or you can't wait any longer and take care of yourself as much as you can
    Last edited by TableDancer; 26-05-2017 at 23:07. Reason: get not bet, don't bet through it!

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    Petulia  (27-05-2017)

  8. #475
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    Default Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    Quote Originally Posted by Petulia View Post
    They (twins) are 4 months. Spoken to many people about it, GP, psychiatrist, psychologist - waiting for the medication to helpfully work and then for proper treatment to get happening. In the meantime I feel like I will never feel any different and never adjust to motherhood. There are women who abandon their children. What if I end up being one of those women? This option at the moment seems like a possible solution to me.
    Hugs.

    Im not a mother yet but I think most people say that the first months of babyhood are hell.. and you have twins... so double hell.

    I think if you can get help and support over the next couple of months you may feel differently as time passes.. you may not.. but there is a higher chance that you will then that you wont.

    I tried really hard to fall pregnant too and went through a fair bit of stress which probably isnt over for me as Im still pregnant and have hurdles to get through.

    I already know that the first months..at least first 6 will likely be hell for me too but i know it wont be forever.. the trapped ....groundhog days will pass. It has to. People go on to have many kids. I am trying to prepare for the worst.

    What do you think is making you feel this way?
    Last edited by Simil; 26-05-2017 at 23:27.

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    Petulia  (27-05-2017)

  10. #476
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    Quote Originally Posted by Petulia View Post
    They (twins) are 4 months. Spoken to many people about it, GP, psychiatrist, psychologist - waiting for the medication to helpfully work and then for proper treatment to get happening. In the meantime I feel like I will never feel any different and never adjust to motherhood. There are women who abandon their children. What if I end up being one of those women? This option at the moment seems like a possible solution to me.
    Oh gosh twins must be so hard. I felt the same as you after my first. Now, 6 years on I'm pining for number 4!! Hard to believe looking back.

    Even if you dont end up wanting more babies these crazy hormones can be so cruel but they will pass.

    You will feel different. It does get better.

    Seeking help, taking medication are fantastic steps in the right direction

    Well done and good luck

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    Petulia  (27-05-2017)

  12. #477
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    Can I also add that yes it does get easier with time and help. But there are mums out there that dont think its the greatest thing in the world and declare there love everywhere.

    But that's ok!

    We are all different and handle parenthood in different ways. As long as you can find a professional that you like and you can talk to you will one day find what works for you and makes you happy.

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    Petulia  (27-05-2017)

  14. #478
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    Default Motherhood: The Shameful Secrets

    Since my son was born 4 1/2 years ago, I've suffered suicidal PND, I found out that some of my closest family had been backstabbing me for years, my marriage fell apart, I took on a full time job with huge responsibilities as a single mum, am going thru a nasty divorce, still rarely get a nights sleep as DS is still a crap sleeper, rarely eat a meal as DS is an incredibly poor eater and very demanding of my time, lost most of my friends and just basically struggle thru each day.

    ETA I also went thru 4 full rounds of IVF to have him. I love him, but often fantasise life on my own. Even an hour would be bliss
    Also I'm 47 so no real time left for me to start over. I think I'll be a single celibate until I die early from overwork and stress, with maybe a touch of alcoholism
    Last edited by Waggers70; 27-05-2017 at 14:57.

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  16. #479
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simil View Post
    Hugs.

    Im not a mother yet but I think most people say that the first months of babyhood are hell.. and you have twins... so double hell.

    I think if you can get help and support over the next couple of months you may feel differently as time passes.. you may not.. but there is a higher chance that you will then that you wont.

    I tried really hard to fall pregnant too and went through a fair bit of stress which probably isnt over for me as Im still pregnant and have hurdles to get through.

    I already know that the first months..at least first 6 will likely be hell for me too but i know it wont be forever.. the trapped ....groundhog days will pass. It has to. People go on to have many kids. I am trying to prepare for the worst.

    What do you think is making you feel this way?
    I have no idea what is making me feel this way. If it is the illness of if I am just the kind of person who should never have had kinds, or both.
    If I knew then what I know now I would advise you strongly to link in with a psychologist now and start talking about the stress you went through and keep going even if you feel fine. I wish I did. I might not have fallen like this. And over-prepare with support from others. Like prepare to have a family member/friend move in or be able to come over every day for the first few months. You can also back it off if you don't need it.

  17. #480
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    Quote Originally Posted by yadot View Post
    Oh gosh twins must be so hard. I felt the same as you after my first. Now, 6 years on I'm pining for number 4!! Hard to believe looking back.

    Even if you dont end up wanting more babies these crazy hormones can be so cruel but they will pass.

    You will feel different. It does get better.

    Seeking help, taking medication are fantastic steps in the right direction

    Well done and good luck
    Will never try for more children. I'm too old anyway, but after this experience I wouldn't go back.

    When are the hormones supposed to get back to normal? The boys are 4 months, I stopped breastfeeding 3 months ago, and I'm onto my second period post birth.


 

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