The mother's group I was apart of are all busy doing their own thing these days. The days they are free, I'm not. As for friends with kids similar ages, not really.
We do some activities during the week. We tried the play group in town but it is so cliquey. They are nice and all but they all grew up together and when they start talking it feels very exclusive, even their kids are cliquey. Dd2 makes friends so easily though. We could go to the park and before we leave she has made new friends. I do need to make more of an effort with play group though.
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06-06-2015 14:43 #451
06-06-2015 16:16 #452Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
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06-06-2015 22:37 #453
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07-06-2015 09:26 #454
I fit in here.
While I'm having a good day today, about a month ago I could have filled pages in here had I known about this thread.
I'm not missing a life I could have had because I'm pretty sure I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but I just wish I had some time for me.
It was my birthday yesterday and all I wanted was to have use of my own two hands again.
Have some time to paint, get crafty, bake...anything other than look after everyone else. It didn't happen. DD is four months old and still so much work, doesn't sleep and she's still feeding two hourly.
I know it will get better but I feel suffocated at the minute.
Hugs to everyone.
09-06-2015 23:41 #455
We don't leave the house coz DS1 is hard work. I'm sick of one friend in particular (a new mum of one crazy good kid, sleeps well, still naps, doesn't cry, does what it's told all the time...meh) always asking us to go out to the stupid play things... I hate them. It's not relaxing it's hard work. 3 under 4 and DS1 is 'special' touches everything and everyone, has meltdowns, wants to leave.. Doesn't want to leave. Follows people out the gates. I hate it.
09-06-2015 23:43 #456
I also just want to pee alone again...
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Sookie Stackedhouse (10-06-2015)
10-06-2015 09:59 #457
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10-06-2015 12:24 #458Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
I didn't read the whole thread, just the first page & wanted to share my shameful secret for other new time mummies out there.
All pregnancy everyone told me 'parenting comes naturally', 'breastfeeding comes naturally', 'you'll know what to do with the baby when it gets here, it's instinct'
Lie. Lie. Lie.
I didn't know how to change a nappy. I didn't know how to breastfeed. DD didn't know how to latch. I didn't know how to get her to stop crying. Boob was the only thing that worked. Day & night. milk took forever to come in & DD would just get frustrated and scream. She lost 25% body weight in the first two weeks. I sucked at being mum & I knew it.
I pumped for weeks. Went to the breastfeeding clinic. Spoke to baby nurses & everytime I mentioned formula I was made to feel terribly guilty.
So insted I sat on the lounge, day & night, for 8 weeks with a baby that would not feed or stop screaming.
The day she was 8 weeks old. I actually managed to get showered & dressed & get to the shops with her before 11am. The moment I walked in a saw another mum, dressed up, hair & make up done, pushing a baby younger then mine, with twin toddlers in tow (also immaculately dressed) I walked straight to the parents room & cried for 45 minutes at what a failure I was. Then I cleaned myself up. Went to kmart for formula & One bottle later DD stopped screaming & sleept for 4 hours straight.
And that was one of the best decisions I ever made.
24-07-2015 20:47 #459Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
I wish I have known about this thread earlier, il going to spend some time (whilst bf bub to sleep) to read through some of these posts. It may make me feel less alone.
My shameful secrets (more then one I'm afraid)
- I hate when DS cries, my anxiety goes so high I feel like sometimes I have to get myself away from him before I could maybe snap and hurt him
-I use a horrible horrible voice when I get angry and upset, I guess I'm trying to scare him out of whatever he is doing, whether it be having a tantrum or touching stuff he isn't supposed to
- I put myself down so much to the point I start believing it and then acting upon it, eg: I tell myself my DS hates me, so I push him away (physically, not hard) and tell him to go away. Or I yell at him when I feel like I'm losing control and tel him to shut up because I can't cope.
While I love my DS more than anything my PND is horrible and I've just started getting help for it now, it's been hard to admit that this mothering thing didn't come to me like it was supposed to, but I want to be happier and I want to feel like I enjoy being a mummy to DS rather then feeling like I'm trapped and suffer caring with no escape
24-07-2015 22:32 #460
Luananjo. Its tough. Good on u for getting help. Don't beat yourself up about it. I can relate to everything u said and I'm sure most other mums can to at one time or another. Learning to forgive yourself is something that took me a while to get the hang of. Big hugs
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