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  1. #411
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    Just thought I would share this pic in here...just to remind us all that we may feel like the worst mum sometimes but to our kiddies we are still the light of their lives mistakes and all. Happy Mother's day xoxo

    1399763161699.jpg

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    Cool idea! I will read my favorite book today, Moomintrolls! SO excited, hope my kids will like it

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    I do not know what to say on this.

  5. #414
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    Subscribing to remind myself that I'm not the only one who feels guilty for my feelings sometimes.

    Haven't had more than a 2 hour block of sleep in months, really makes it hard to be patient at times & find myself being very angry and snappy with DH & DD then feeling absolutely awful afterwards

    Love them both to bits but sometimes miss pre-parenthood & the lack of responsibility!

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    Delete I want to try forget today 😣
    Last edited by LoCo; 02-07-2014 at 23:15.

  7. #416
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    I am so happy I have found this thread. I have read it in its entirety over the last 10 hours or so while holding my ds who didn't want to sleep.

    I feel so guilty over so many things that I have been feeling lately and can relate to so many of you in this thread, I know it's all part of my pnd but it still doesn't help that I feel bad for even having these feelings.

    Sometimes I feel absolutely nothing for him and wish someone would just take him away. He was born under ga and I didn't see him til he was three hours old. When he was brought to me I felt nothing and was desperately searching his tiny little face trying to find familiar features to confirm he was my baby. Dh, my sister, mil and bil all saw him and held him before me and mil even sent photos of him to her family, all while I was still knocked out in recovery. I felt such anger towards mil that I avoid her calls on a regular basis and feel that every time she says something that she is interfering and trying to control everything to do with my ds.

    He has been a very difficult baby, we struggled with breastfeeding and when he would cry at the boob I would get frustrated with him and slightly rough, breastfeeding is meant to be natural why couldn't he just attach like he's meant to? Our breastfeeding journey is over and he is now ff, I feel like he just rejected me as his mother.

    We have battled with sleeping since he was 4 weeks old, thankfully a mach nurse who held mums group picked up on the signs I wasn't coping and referred me to sleep school, I was admitted as an urgent patient. There have been moments where I am ashamed to admit I have yelled at him, screamed at him, put him in his cot roughly, put him on my bed roughly and borderline shook him. I always stopped myself recognizing my own signs and walked away to calm down. We went to the sleep school when he was 11 weeks old and I was just so grateful on my first day that I had a nurse there that I could hand him to when I couldn't cope anymore, he screamed for 6 hours straight on our first night. He is now 16 weeks old and my non sleeping baby is back

    I feel so alone, dh doesn't understand, nobody else can settle him, I don't have anyone that I can call on who I trust to watch him for me so that I can have an hour to myself, (mil gave him egg yolk when he was 15 weeks old).

    Thank you London for starting this thread and for those that have resurrected it, I have found it at the time that I needed it most. It's made me realize I am not the bad mother I have made myself out to be.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. #417
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    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin275 View Post
    I am so happy I have found this thread. I have read it in its entirety over the last 10 hours or so while holding my ds who didn't want to sleep.

    I feel so guilty over so many things that I have been feeling lately and can relate to so many of you in this thread, I know it's all part of my pnd but it still doesn't help that I feel bad for even having these feelings.

    Sometimes I feel absolutely nothing for him and wish someone would just take him away. He was born under ga and I didn't see him til he was three hours old. When he was brought to me I felt nothing and was desperately searching his tiny little face trying to find familiar features to confirm he was my baby. Dh, my sister, mil and bil all saw him and held him before me and mil even sent photos of him to her family, all while I was still knocked out in recovery. I felt such anger towards mil that I avoid her calls on a regular basis and feel that every time she says something that she is interfering and trying to control everything to do with my ds.

    He has been a very difficult baby, we struggled with breastfeeding and when he would cry at the boob I would get frustrated with him and slightly rough, breastfeeding is meant to be natural why couldn't he just attach like he's meant to? Our breastfeeding journey is over and he is now ff, I feel like he just rejected me as his mother.

    We have battled with sleeping since he was 4 weeks old, thankfully a mach nurse who held mums group picked up on the signs I wasn't coping and referred me to sleep school, I was admitted as an urgent patient. There have been moments where I am ashamed to admit I have yelled at him, screamed at him, put him in his cot roughly, put him on my bed roughly and borderline shook him. I always stopped myself recognizing my own signs and walked away to calm down. We went to the sleep school when he was 11 weeks old and I was just so grateful on my first day that I had a nurse there that I could hand him to when I couldn't cope anymore, he screamed for 6 hours straight on our first night. He is now 16 weeks old and my non sleeping baby is back

    I feel so alone, dh doesn't understand, nobody else can settle him, I don't have anyone that I can call on who I trust to watch him for me so that I can have an hour to myself, (mil gave him egg yolk when he was 15 weeks old).

    Thank you London for starting this thread and for those that have resurrected it, I have found it at the time that I needed it most. It's made me realize I am not the bad mother I have made myself out to be.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Massive hugs.

    Sent from my SM-N9005 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  10. #418
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    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin275 View Post
    I am so happy I have found this thread. I have read it in its entirety over the last 10 hours or so while holding my ds who didn't want to sleep.

    I feel so guilty over so many things that I have been feeling lately and can relate to so many of you in this thread, I know it's all part of my pnd but it still doesn't help that I feel bad for even having these feelings.

    Sometimes I feel absolutely nothing for him and wish someone would just take him away. He was born under ga and I didn't see him til he was three hours old. When he was brought to me I felt nothing and was desperately searching his tiny little face trying to find familiar features to confirm he was my baby. Dh, my sister, mil and bil all saw him and held him before me and mil even sent photos of him to her family, all while I was still knocked out in recovery. I felt such anger towards mil that I avoid her calls on a regular basis and feel that every time she says something that she is interfering and trying to control everything to do with my ds.

    He has been a very difficult baby, we struggled with breastfeeding and when he would cry at the boob I would get frustrated with him and slightly rough, breastfeeding is meant to be natural why couldn't he just attach like he's meant to? Our breastfeeding journey is over and he is now ff, I feel like he just rejected me as his mother.

    We have battled with sleeping since he was 4 weeks old, thankfully a mach nurse who held mums group picked up on the signs I wasn't coping and referred me to sleep school, I was admitted as an urgent patient. There have been moments where I am ashamed to admit I have yelled at him, screamed at him, put him in his cot roughly, put him on my bed roughly and borderline shook him. I always stopped myself recognizing my own signs and walked away to calm down. We went to the sleep school when he was 11 weeks old and I was just so grateful on my first day that I had a nurse there that I could hand him to when I couldn't cope anymore, he screamed for 6 hours straight on our first night. He is now 16 weeks old and my non sleeping baby is back

    I feel so alone, dh doesn't understand, nobody else can settle him, I don't have anyone that I can call on who I trust to watch him for me so that I can have an hour to myself, (mil gave him egg yolk when he was 15 weeks old).

    Thank you London for starting this thread and for those that have resurrected it, I have found it at the time that I needed it most. It's made me realize I am not the bad mother I have made myself out to be.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Hugs. When I was in the depths of PND and struggling really bad and on the verge of losing it....I would put my babies safely in their cots, shut the door and have an hour long hot shower and just cry and cry (all 3 of us in tears). Then when I got out I would pull myself together and go try again. Sometimes I would have 5 showers a day... Some days are just really tough with babies but hang in there.

    This will pass...

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  12. #419
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    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin275 View Post
    I am so happy I have found this thread. I have read it in its entirety over the last 10 hours or so while holding my ds who didn't want to sleep.

    I feel so guilty over so many things that I have been feeling lately and can relate to so many of you in this thread, I know it's all part of my pnd but it still doesn't help that I feel bad for even having these feelings.

    Sometimes I feel absolutely nothing for him and wish someone would just take him away. He was born under ga and I didn't see him til he was three hours old. When he was brought to me I felt nothing and was desperately searching his tiny little face trying to find familiar features to confirm he was my baby. Dh, my sister, mil and bil all saw him and held him before me and mil even sent photos of him to her family, all while I was still knocked out in recovery. I felt such anger towards mil that I avoid her calls on a regular basis and feel that every time she says something that she is interfering and trying to control everything to do with my ds.

    He has been a very difficult baby, we struggled with breastfeeding and when he would cry at the boob I would get frustrated with him and slightly rough, breastfeeding is meant to be natural why couldn't he just attach like he's meant to? Our breastfeeding journey is over and he is now ff, I feel like he just rejected me as his mother.

    We have battled with sleeping since he was 4 weeks old, thankfully a mach nurse who held mums group picked up on the signs I wasn't coping and referred me to sleep school, I was admitted as an urgent patient. There have been moments where I am ashamed to admit I have yelled at him, screamed at him, put him in his cot roughly, put him on my bed roughly and borderline shook him. I always stopped myself recognizing my own signs and walked away to calm down. We went to the sleep school when he was 11 weeks old and I was just so grateful on my first day that I had a nurse there that I could hand him to when I couldn't cope anymore, he screamed for 6 hours straight on our first night. He is now 16 weeks old and my non sleeping baby is back

    I feel so alone, dh doesn't understand, nobody else can settle him, I don't have anyone that I can call on who I trust to watch him for me so that I can have an hour to myself, (mil gave him egg yolk when he was 15 weeks old).

    Thank you London for starting this thread and for those that have resurrected it, I have found it at the time that I needed it most. It's made me realize I am not the bad mother I have made myself out to be.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    So sorry people were so insensitive when your bub was born. I would have been furious. And the mil would be getting a few choice words from me as well over the photos and the egg incident.

    I hope your DH can start to see where you are coming from xx

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  14. #420
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    Im glad this thread is still going and is serving the purpose I wanted it to. Hugs and thank you to everyone who posted in it. Its hard opening up and admitting our shame.

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