I feel like I'm being a good mum but in the process of being the best mum I can, I feel like I'm being a crap family member. SIL has just had a baby as well and my DP desperately wants to go to QLD to meet his nephew but DD has reflux and is horrible when out of routine so the idea of going anywhere makes me cringe majorly.
The majority of my family live in the hunter/Sydney area and they haven't met 3 month old DD for the same reason and now one of my sisters is going through a horrible time and I desperately want to go see her and cheer her up but it means travelling with DD. So I feel like me and DD are holding everyone back but then I feel bad like I'm blaming it on her. I know it's not her fault but it's just so hard!
Why must parenthood come with such a huge helping of guilt over every aspect of life?
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07-08-2013 23:20 #341
08-08-2013 13:14 #342
Today just for a second I wished I'd never had kids. I felt sick to my stomach thinking it but im struggling with a 5yr old whose a perfect angel at school but a nightmare at home, a 3yr old with spd and a 8 week old with severe reflux and colic who cries all the time. Im emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted.
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10-08-2013 13:51 #343
Peanut monkey I hope this are a bit better for you today. DD1 was reflux baby and I know how hard it can be, let a alone with 2 older kids to look after too. Hugs.
Things this week have been a bit calmer and quieter thank god! Although today I am in a foul mood because I have no time to myself for weeks and its starting to get me. With DH mum so sick he is either asleep, at the hospital or at work, which I totally support and understand but it doesn't mean it easy on me or the girls. Just so over everything.
11-08-2013 15:39 #344
Hey Greb, don't be too hard on yourself, there comes a time when your limit is reached and due to the lack of sleep you've both been getting its completely understandable.
If it helps Ive put ds in his cot stepped out of his room and yelled the house down, which only shocked ds and made him cry more, scared the dog and then we spent the rest if the afternoon crying together.
Your doing such a wonderful job and on the amount if sleep your on, I take my hat off to you, your one hell of a mumma xx
Did you call tricilian back?
14-08-2013 09:34 #345Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
I'm sitting here rocking my 6th month old in his second cycle of sleep crying, I'm a horrible horrible person. I did something I swore I would never ever do and omg I can't believe it.
Last night my ds woke up at 11, (1st of 3 wake ups) screaming as he has for the last few weeks, I put him on the change table as he is constantly wetting thru nappies and his screaming got worse, I grabbed his shoulders and kind of did a little shake, more so to snap him out if it, it was for 2 seconds, and not that rough. I am so disgusted with myself, I feel the lowest of the low, I love this little boy so much and I can't believe I was even capable of this. How dare I touch my child like that, how f@$king dare I.
I'm going to ring my Dr when ds wakes and get an increase on my depression meds as clearly I'm starting to get PND. I just wish I could rely on my mother to look after ds without me there, or MIL was able to help but she is busy with my ill SIL, I feel so alone and just want some time to myself that doesn't involve cleaning, cooking or anything house related.
What have I become? A monster that's what
14-08-2013 09:42 #346Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2005
Doing my sons homework this week due to the fact he is constantly overloaded with work and I think he deserves a break for a week just to be a kid after school!
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strawberry swing (14-08-2013)
14-08-2013 09:48 #347
Trees - a monster wouldn't carry the guilt and shame you are. Your a normal mum having a rough time who is doing all she can to make it better.
I agree you need to see your doctor ASAP and that's the first step. You will get better and I promise it will get easier.
There are other options for getting a break aswell other than family I think you should think about to help make you feel better, eg 1 day of day care perhaps to let you catch up on sleep and sanity. Not sure of your financial situation but with rebates i think it's affordable particularly for one day. Or perhaps doing a babysitting swap with a friend. Just a couple of ideas.
14-08-2013 11:38 #348
Trees, I remember once at 3am when my son wouldn't stop screaming, I got this urge to just throw him to the ground. It was such a powerful thought I wasn't even sure if I'd actually done it or not for a second. I just had enough in me to put him in his crib and take myself out for a breather.
Your feelings and frustration are understandable. Many of us have been there. You know that you shouldn't have done it, you've done no harm (this time), and you've taken decisive action. You're not a terrible mummy. Good luck getting the support you need...
14-08-2013 12:10 #349Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
TRees, last night i bought my DD into bed at 3.30am as she woke up and i had a feeling she wouldnt go back to sleep..she never sleeps thru the night and recently we have started bringing her into bed as she will usually go back to sleep...DH got up and went to work...but dd just wouldnt go back to sleep, was sooking and sooking and sooking...now its was after 5am and i was getting the $hits bigtime...i started swearing at her f this f that go to effin sleep...in the end i picked up her rougher than needed and plonked her back into her bed where she feel asleep....i feel bad, i didnt need to swaer like that and didnt need to be rough with her...i felt like utter dirt ..sometimes for some reason it just gets to you
14-08-2013 12:55 #350
Trees please be kinder to yourself. You are doing an amazing Job and only a good mother would identify when they need help.
Yesterday I had to go into the bathroom and shut the door and yell because I was losing it at ds who had been whining all day.
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