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  1. #501
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    Quote Originally Posted by Petulia View Post
    I fantasise about going back to work full time and my partner being a stay at home dad (which he would do) - and I've never been the kind of person who loves working! Also the childcare thing - but what would stop me doing that is they would get sick all the time (they say the first year of childcare you can expect to them to get sick with something every other week) and that would freak me out then having to deal with 2 sick babies (they already cry enough) and us getting sick too. I guess I have to add about a month to most developmental milestones as they were premmies, and another 3 months seems like an eternity. Most days I wake up wishing it was already time to go to bed to so time will pass quicker.
    I'm not saying it's not terrible when they get sick every other week but I find that more manageable and give me more sanity than dealing with the kids full time. I felt terrible at the beginning when my DD1 constantly got the bug from childcare and then passing on to baby DD2 but in hindsight I'm so glad I didn't pull her out like I wanted to at the start. She has grown to love it and learnt so much there and I get to have a break! I'm willing to put up with this constant sickness with the hope that it's building their immunity.

  2. #502
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    On the third day of babies arrival home, at around 3am, I looked at my partner and asked 'what have we done? We had a good life before'. After 72 hours of no sleep, our cute baby started resembling a demon. Every time she closed her eyes, we'd sit motionless praying it might lead to a couple of hours of sleep. Choice phrases like 'what do you you want from me?!?' are heard throughout the house at various ungodly hours when she fails to settle

    Still waiting for the 'but the rewards outweigh the hard times! ' bit lol

    In all honesty, though - it's a hard adjustment (going from childless and carefree to slave) and there's no shame in honesty - we're human and we get better as we go but it's definitely nothing picnic.

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  4. #503
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    This morning I told my kids that all the patience I've built up over the past 37 years is gone and I have none left. I've always been a patient person, particularly with my kids, but my 5 year old in particular has worn me so thin I feel like if I'm worn down any more there'll be nothing left of me.

  5. #504
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    Anyone need any last minute confessions before this is lost to the wind forever?

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  7. #505
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    That even when your children are adults and married with kids if their own , you never stop worrying and wondering where you went wrong and blame yourself for things that are happening now. If only I could turn back the clock and start over again with one of my kids I’d be happy. It’s so stressful seeing them suffer like they are now and knowing that you have caused some of the issues . The mummy guilt lives on even when your kids have their own family

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  9. #506
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    reading through some of my posts in this thread from 3 or so years ago, i now have enough distance from that time to know yes i was probably struggling and should’ve reached out for help. i saw doing so as a failure. before having kids, i arrogantly and ignorantly thought i would have my first, and land straight away into the headspace i am probably more in now (4 years of parenting under my belt). i look back now and realize how green i was (still am, i’m sure), how arrogant i was (probably still am) and how terrified i was of appearing less than perfect, the pressure i put on myself was enormous and of course i cracked regularly (always privately of course). i really gave myself a hell of a time. i saw shame in admitting i was less than perfect and knew nothing and needed help. i also ignored (or wanted to) the fact that we have a huge support network (in terms of family help) missing, and that’s really hard when you have little kids. i’m trying to forgive myself for treating myself so poorly over the years and not being more forgiving of myself. i feel like i have grown into this mum role a bit and with a bit of maturity now, i can see that yes it’s a daily struggle, but i’m trying my best under my own set of circumstances. and that’s enough. it’s not perfect and that’s ok. it’s ok to fail. parenting isn’t a destination, it’s a journey, and there will be highs and lows along the path. a low point doesn’t mean i’ve failed, it’s just a speed bump.

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  11. #507
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    This parenting gig does not seem to be getting any easier.

    Last Saturday Ds2 (23mths) fell on the rocks at the beach and gave himself an egg on the forehead and a grazed forehead and nose. It looks really bad.

    On Sunday we were packing up having a picnic at the park and ds2 was riding his scooter near where DH and DS1 we’re getting their bikes. Next minute, I couldn’t find him anywhere in the park and then there were 3 cars stopped on the road in front the park and I thought for sure he has been hit. He had crossed the road on his scooter and was being chased down the footpath by half a dozen people giggling his little head off.

    On Monday night I asked DH to brush the boys teeth while I went to the toilet. While I’m there I hear Ds2 screaming (not unusual), come out to find blood pouring out his mouth. He had shattered a tooth after tripping over and face planting the tiles. Cue 6hrs in ED followed by surgery on Tuesday to have the remnants removed.

    I don’t think I can parent this child, I can’t keep him safe. I let him into the backyard, he scales the fence. I go to the bathroom, he pushes his highchair over to the stovetop, uses it as a ladder to turn on all the knobs (turned off at the wall thank god).

    Ds1 (nearly 8) knows everything and is full of sass and backchat. He resents the attention his brother gets and isn’t kind to him. I shout way too much and am not the adult I need to be. Our neighbours must think I am crazy.

    Dh goes away for work next week until the end of sept and I don’t know how I will cope.

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  13. #508
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkletoes Sparklebutt View Post
    This parenting gig does not seem to be getting any easier.

    Last Saturday Ds2 (23mths) fell on the rocks at the beach and gave himself an egg on the forehead and a grazed forehead and nose. It looks really bad.

    On Sunday we were packing up having a picnic at the park and ds2 was riding his scooter near where DH and DS1 we’re getting their bikes. Next minute, I couldn’t find him anywhere in the park and then there were 3 cars stopped on the road in front the park and I thought for sure he has been hit. He had crossed the road on his scooter and was being chased down the footpath by half a dozen people giggling his little head off.

    On Monday night I asked DH to brush the boys teeth while I went to the toilet. While I’m there I hear Ds2 screaming (not unusual), come out to find blood pouring out his mouth. He had shattered a tooth after tripping over and face planting the tiles. Cue 6hrs in ED followed by surgery on Tuesday to have the remnants removed.

    I don’t think I can parent this child, I can’t keep him safe. I let him into the backyard, he scales the fence. I go to the bathroom, he pushes his highchair over to the stovetop, uses it as a ladder to turn on all the knobs (turned off at the wall thank god).

    Ds1 (nearly 8) knows everything and is full of sass and backchat. He resents the attention his brother gets and isn’t kind to him. I shout way too much and am not the adult I need to be. Our neighbours must think I am crazy.

    Dh goes away for work next week until the end of sept and I don’t know how I will cope.
    You're an amazing mother. Please don't think less of yourself because of the mischief your children get up to or the differing amounts of attention they receive for whatever reason.... children are resilient and these things will help shape them to become the unique individuals they clearly are. Parenting is hard and unfortunately we get things wrong, but we learn, they learn and we all move forward.

    Know you're not alone, we are all here to help you unpack it all and to focus on the positives

    You're doing your best and that is all anyone should expect of you, hon xx

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  15. #509
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkletoes Sparklebutt View Post
    This parenting gig does not seem to be getting any easier.

    Last Saturday Ds2 (23mths) fell on the rocks at the beach and gave himself an egg on the forehead and a grazed forehead and nose. It looks really bad.

    On Sunday we were packing up having a picnic at the park and ds2 was riding his scooter near where DH and DS1 we’re getting their bikes. Next minute, I couldn’t find him anywhere in the park and then there were 3 cars stopped on the road in front the park and I thought for sure he has been hit. He had crossed the road on his scooter and was being chased down the footpath by half a dozen people giggling his little head off.

    On Monday night I asked DH to brush the boys teeth while I went to the toilet. While I’m there I hear Ds2 screaming (not unusual), come out to find blood pouring out his mouth. He had shattered a tooth after tripping over and face planting the tiles. Cue 6hrs in ED followed by surgery on Tuesday to have the remnants removed.

    I don’t think I can parent this child, I can’t keep him safe. I let him into the backyard, he scales the fence. I go to the bathroom, he pushes his highchair over to the stovetop, uses it as a ladder to turn on all the knobs (turned off at the wall thank god).

    Ds1 (nearly 8) knows everything and is full of sass and backchat. He resents the attention his brother gets and isn’t kind to him. I shout way too much and am not the adult I need to be. Our neighbours must think I am crazy.

    Dh goes away for work next week until the end of sept and I don’t know how I will cope.
    Have you got anyone that can help while DH is away? Cut yourself some slack, your neighbour's probably crazy too, who isn't. I guess your youngest is just at that stage where for some kids fearlessness and lack of sense combine, I think it's particularly common with boys. The age difference between your kids is similar to mine, lots of advantages but at the same time the older one can get resentful. I have no answers, I just feel for you and how hard that sounds. But try not to be too hard on yourself, it's just about getting through right now.

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  17. #510
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkletoes Sparklebutt View Post
    This parenting gig does not seem to be getting any easier.

    Last Saturday Ds2 (23mths) fell on the rocks at the beach and gave himself an egg on the forehead and a grazed forehead and nose. It looks really bad.

    On Sunday we were packing up having a picnic at the park and ds2 was riding his scooter near where DH and DS1 we’re getting their bikes. Next minute, I couldn’t find him anywhere in the park and then there were 3 cars stopped on the road in front the park and I thought for sure he has been hit. He had crossed the road on his scooter and was being chased down the footpath by half a dozen people giggling his little head off.

    On Monday night I asked DH to brush the boys teeth while I went to the toilet. While I’m there I hear Ds2 screaming (not unusual), come out to find blood pouring out his mouth. He had shattered a tooth after tripping over and face planting the tiles. Cue 6hrs in ED followed by surgery on Tuesday to have the remnants removed.

    I don’t think I can parent this child, I can’t keep him safe. I let him into the backyard, he scales the fence. I go to the bathroom, he pushes his highchair over to the stovetop, uses it as a ladder to turn on all the knobs (turned off at the wall thank god).

    Ds1 (nearly 8) knows everything and is full of sass and backchat. He resents the attention his brother gets and isn’t kind to him. I shout way too much and am not the adult I need to be. Our neighbours must think I am crazy.

    Dh goes away for work next week until the end of sept and I don’t know how I will cope.
    that sounds incredibly rough. i don’t think you’re crazy or not coping at all. i think those sound like very challenging circumstances and i’d be struggling too. i would say most people would too. i can’t imagine what a nervous wreck you must’ve been after the scooter incident. and the tooth thing sounds really yucky and scary too.

    how old is your ds2?

    huge hugs. i agree you will need to try and get some help and support while your dh is away, if only to get a bit of a break.

    is sending ds2 to childcare an option? we have very little family help and rely very heavily on childcare. i often send mine in when i’m struggling or need a break otherwise it’s just really really relentless and hard.

    xx

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