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  1. #11
    Gothel's Avatar
    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    on phone but have to be brief but i have no support from family. I have found it in the community, either through friends, through organisations or friends that i have made in those organisations. Its taken 3+ years of trying and trying, and also battling pnd, but i finally have some practical and mental support. Its out there, its hard to find cos i got many knockbacks and rejections, but it is out there if you persist

  2. #12
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    Hi.. Hugs for you. I know what it is like not having any help. My husband works away often and sometimes up to a month at a time. I am home with DS who's 3 and DD that's 17 months. I am pretty much a single parent. I only see the inlaws when there is a family do on and my family live 1+hours away and I may only see my mum once every 2-3months. Every Thursday my kids go to child care from 9-5, this is the only break I get.

    Kudos to single parents.. and a pat on the back to every parent that does it almost completely by themselves.

  3. #13
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    I've been a single mum now for almost 8 years and it's always been the same for me. Some days are worse than other but we get by because the days go by no matter what you do!

  4. #14
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    You just get by... I suppose.. My whole family live in ACT/NSW, were in SA and my hubby's family are in QLD.. I have 2 girls DD1 is 4 and goes to kindy 2days a week, starts full time 3rd term and DD2 is 19mths. I'm also 11wks pregnant with out 3rd and DH left at 7am this morning... Yep still at work... He sometimes works 7days a week but mostly 6 days per week. And is on call every 4 days so on those days he can work right thru until the next day! He's a plumber, gets a good pay check and soon wen were on top of the bills he'll prob try to say no a bit more. It's hard not to be a home hermit and my girls are extremely independent, specially when I have my head stuck in a toilet with MS! I have 2 friends in SA, but I've known them for 12yrs so they're like sisters. Friend support can be much better than family... Less judgement!! Lol

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    GypsyFortuneTeller  (10-03-2011)

  6. #15
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    After 18 years of very little support because my mum has 20 grandchildren and has to share her love around its been very hard.

    I think there is no shame in child care, i dont do it but I will have to soon as I am wearing out.

  7. #16
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    Thank you so much everyone for your kind words of encouragement and support! I never really thought of it that way - you just get up every day, put one foot in front of the other and do what you have to do. And i think i'm doing okay so yay me!! And yay for all of us that are doing it alone!

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  9. #17
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    You cope because you have to! Im raising my DS whos 16 months by myself. Hes spent about 6 half days in childcare in his whole life. Thats the only break I have had since he was born. I just make sure the house is clean every night otherwise it gets too much. Im hoping to start DS in childcare once a week if I can afford to do so just to give myself a break and so I can meet other people. My mum lives just over an hour away but cant help me with DS because of the medication she is on,

  10. #18
    MilkOnTap's Avatar
    MilkOnTap is offline Rivi Cecilia - my 2nd VBAC Home Birth has arrived!
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    Just like everyone else has said. I'm not a great mum though,and I tend to over-use TV. My family are all i'state, and on the very odd occasion that my Mum visits she isn't a huge amount of help anyway. The IL's live i'state as well and I just dont trust them with the kids, so thats not an option. My husband is in the defence force and even though he has a shore posting now he is still going away 1 or 2 weeks a month. I have an almost 4yo DS and a 2yo DD, and I'm 13wks pregnant with #3. Life is going to be very interesting come the end of this year I think!!

  11. #19
    AndrewTheEmu is offline Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
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    hugs

    most days i feel i have very little support. DH is useless alot of the time (just doesnt think, i have to give him direct specific instructions to do anything/everything) Non of my friends/work mates have kids so they just dont understand alot of it, My mum is great but she always has my little brother (17 yrs old) in tow, who is a rat bag/disrespectful/mean/abusive kid so dont want him anywhere near me/my family and my sister is far too wrapped up in her own drama to help anyone else.. so yeah.. i would have to say i 'go it alone' alot.

    I cope by having some 'me' time (i go for a run between 550am-645am before DD is awake - when DH is home) and most of the other times i do my best to talk myself out of whatever negitive feelings i am feeling.. which are alot sometimes. Meditation/yoga helps ALOT. Apart from that I just 'suck it up' and accept this is my life. change what i can, and accept the things that i can not change

  12. #20
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    Although you have quite a few supportive replies, I would just like to give you mine also. It really does sound like you are doing an AMAZING job as a wife, mother - especially on your own. & trust me, I do know how hard it is.

    Almost 3 years ago now, I made a move to a new town for work. In my home town I was not able to get the full time job I needed (I am an Enrolled Nurse) so, I moved to a (smaller) town where I could. My partner moved with me & our plan was to work & make as much money as we could for 1 or 2 years & then move on to brighter paster's. But the universe had other plans! Two months after we moved, we got engaged & 2 weeks later we found out I was pregnant with our first child.

    I am 500km away from ANY of my family. & that & plus some from his. We have few friends here, but are basically "stuck" due to employment issues (we have been trying to move, but my partner is unable to find alternative work). He, like your husband also works long hours. He can go to work at 6 and not be home until well after 7...or at 7 & come home just before 8.

    I have two daughter's now. One 19 months & one 8 - yep, an 11 month age gap! And some day's - it's really bloody hard! But then again, just being a parent is hard in itself. When I had my first I didn't like going out much, I would stay home & just spend time with her. But after having my second I have found the "beauty" in going to things such as playgroup. It's a great way for the 3 of us to get out & socialise. I get to talk to other mums & they get to play with other kids - it is GREAT! And also, 3 weeks ago I put my eldest daughter into daycare for 4 hours every Tuesday. Just because I am worried about her having "issues" with being looked after by other people etc. We are due to be married in November & on the next night (after the wedding) I would like my mum to take the girls so that we are able to go to the movies & out to tea, together (alone) - something we are never able to do anymore.


 

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