Hoping to join this thread.
I was diagnosed with PCOS 9 years ago, all the women in my family have it except my lovely mum.
I saw my FS in Jan and he prescribed me Provera, Clomid and Metformin. Due to travel, last month was our first go at 50 mg.... I didn't O. Wasn't suprised, the FS didn't believe 50 mg would be enough. So i am now on CD 5 and had 100 mg of clomid today fingers crossed this month is it! I am due to test on DF birthday, he said it would be the best birthday present ever!
I also and giving pre seed ago this month, ordered it yesterday and it was delivered today. I was sooo excited! Now Lovely AF needs to leave do the BDing can begin.
If any of you have any suggestions or tips, I would love to hear them.
Hoping i can join
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10-05-2011 17:50 #111Member
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- Oct 2010
The Following User Says Thank You to Lyla For This Useful Post:
10-05-2011 19:46 #112
Welcome Lyla. I've also got PCOS and have been on metformin for years and have been on clomid for 4 cycles now. I'm sure you'll find lots of support here.
10-05-2011 21:29 #113
R O L L C A L L :
Waiting for an Appointment
Waiting for AF
Starting new Cycle
Starting IVF Cycle
Sammy87 (FSH injections)
Ladydee (1st FSH & IUI Cycle)
Having a break
10-05-2011 21:35 #114
Zoem – Awww, thanks so much for your support! Even though we all wish we could see each other graduate out of this thread asap, it is nice to have a bunch of lovely ladies who totally get what each other is going through huh. SO sorry AF showed her ugly head, that just plain sucks. What dosage of clomid are you taking hun? I think that’s great that your getting a bt for this cycle. I tried 4 rounds of clomid before moving on because my CD 12 u/s’s were showing I wasn’t growing a dominant follie and therefore not O’ing even though my temps seemed to be having a slight dip and rise. My lining thickness seemed to be starting to get affected as well as my CM so we stopped at 4 rounds though I think the usual norm is about 6 cycles? I always took mine at night also so I could go through most of the hot-flushes in bed at home. Lots of ladies have got utd on clomid, 4th time might be the charm for you? GOOD LUCK!!!
Purple Tulip – Yeah, I hear you on the “not quite being the right time”. We were living in Canada for 2 years and decided to come back to start a family so we could be around family....our mom’s would’ve been devastated had we had their first grandchild over there! Little did we know it would take this long. Sometimes I wish we had stayed until we got those two-pink-lines.....or maybe I’m just missing those non ttc days.....sigh.
Ellymoe – Aw man, that sucks about AF. I dunno...I kind-of had a good feeling about you this cycle. It sucks but, as much as this TTC definitely doesn’t get any easier, you do get tougher as you go. It will happen Elly.
Waiting – Big hugs, you’ve sure been through an ordeal. Maybe your FS will up your monitoring if you happen to need to go up in dose? Good luck!!!
Zammy – Jeez, 4 years....that’s way too long. I can’t even imagine. How can no one have already started you on Clomid like, 2 to 3 years ago? Can you not bring on af with provera? Or, do they want to give you time to fight off your bowel infection? Zammy...I know it’s hard but, don’t hate your body hun...hate PCOS but not your body. Your body WILL one day, hopefully in the not to distant future, do the most miraculous thing ever and nourish and grow you a beautiful, precious child. You have been ttc for a very long time but, as far a modern fertility medicine goes....your right at the very beginning of what man has discovered to combat infertility. There is different strengths of clomid to try, there’s fsh to try, there’s iui and ivf to try and probably other things that I don’t even know about. Don’t give up hope.
Lyla – Welcome! Big fingers crossed that 100mg will be the perfect dose to get you your BFP!!! Good luck and I hope af has gone so you can have some fun with your DF
Good Luck to everyone else!!!
AFM – I really wished I had someone to compare results with so...I’ll post my updated rollercoaster results for my first IUI with FSH injection cycle incase someone is heading that way...
*Aiming for an ideal blood Oestrogen result of around 1000 per follie and a follie size of around 20mm*
FSH dose of 37.5/day
20th = 209 (whoohoo...things are officially in the early stages of “happening”)
23rd = 271 (yay for a little spike!)
25th = 298 (hang-on...what’s going on here?!)
27th = 235 (what?! No...NOOOOO!!!)
28th = 205 (W . T . F !) 2 x 10mm follies
FS upped my FSH dose to 50/day
2nd = 326 (cautiously optimistic?)
3rd = 470 (trying...and failing...not to get to excited!)
5th = 622 (omg, omg, omg!) 1 x 11mm follie & 1 x 13mm follie
7th = 1600 ( Woooooohoooo!!!!)
So, I’m still a little worried as my last U/S showed my follies were still to small at 11 and 13mm...pretty sure they at least have to be about 16/17mm but, ow-well....I did my trigger injection on Sunday morning (by being a super-slick-ninja whilst staying at my mom’s house – who doesn’t know anything – and even hiding my trigger syringe in her fridge behind the eggs!) and I went for my first IUI yesterday. Phew...what an insane few weeks. I went to work early for a couple of hours in the morning before my IUI and then took the rest of the day off mainly just to re-group and relax a bit. Had some cramping for most of the day so, I’m glad I did have the rest of the day off. Dr said I shouldn’t feel too much of anything after the IUI so, I’m pretty sure the cramping was from the trigger-shot making my stubborn ovaries O. The only other time I know for sure that I O’d (first Clomid cycle) I had these similar pains and bloating. Pregnancy BT booked for 24th May! SO happy that I FINALLY made it as far as the TWW stage!
10-05-2011 22:58 #115
Lyla - welcome Hope you find support here
Ladydee - Good luck with the TWW! I am hoping to start mine on 19 May
My rant for the day: how many of you ladies are SICK TO DEATH of people who don't know your situation either asking when you are going to have kids, or even if you are pregnant? I think it is a rude question, I know people don't know about my fertility probs and have no idea how awkward and upsetting it can be when they ask, but jeez, I would never ask those questions, it is very presumptuous to assume everyone wants kids for a start, you never know if you are asking someone who can't, and if someone was pregnant and wanted you to know, they would tell you! Aaaargh! How do you guys respond to these questions?
11-05-2011 17:01 #116
Came across this and thought you ladies (Elly might be interested to read (I would say I agreed with most of it except the Mothers Day "sending a card" thing).............
By Vita Alligood
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. Most infertility treatments involve using hormones, which alter the user's moods. (That statement is like calling a lion a cat-my husband would tell you that the side effect is insanity!) The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money. Infertility treatments are expensive, and most insurance companies do not cover the costs. So, in addition to the pain of not conceiving a baby each month, the couple pays out anywhere from $300 to five figures, depending upon the treatment used.
A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:
1. They will eventually conceive a baby.
2. They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
3. They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.
Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don't know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.
Don't Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren't infertile but just need to "relax." Those that remain are truly infertile.
Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.
These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, "If you just relaxed on a cruise . . ." Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.
Don't Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.
Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.
Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the "worst" thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?
Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the "worst" thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the "worst" thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the "worst" thing that could happen.
People wouldn't dream of telling someone whose parent just died, "It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead." Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don't tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.
Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.
Don't Offer Unsolicited Opinions If They Are Trying IVF
Don’t offer unsolicited advice to your friends who do choose to try IVF. For many couples, IVF is the only way they will ever give birth to a baby. This is a huge decision for them to make.
If the couple has resolved any ethical issues, don't muddy the waters. IVF is a gray area in many ethical circles, and many of our moral leaders don't yet know how to answer the ethical questions that have arisen from this new technology. If the couple has resolved these issues already, you only make it harder by raising the ethical questions again. Respect their decision, and offer your support. If you can't offer your support due to ethical differences of opinion, then say nothing.
A couple who chooses the IVF route has a hard, expensive road ahead, and they need your support more than ever. The hormones are no cakewalk, and the financial cost is enormous. Your friend would not be going this route if there were an easier way, and the fact that she is willing to endure so much is further proof of how much she truly wants to parent a child. The hormones will make her more emotional, so offer her your support and keep your questions to yourself.
Don't Play Doctor
Once your infertile friends are under a doctor's care, the doctor will run them through numerous tests to determine why they aren't able to conceive. There a numerous reasons that a couple may not be able to conceive.
Infertility is a complicated problem to diagnose, and reading an article or book on infertility will not make you an "expert" on the subject. Let your friends work with their doctor to diagnose and treat the problem. Your friends probably already know more about the causes and solutions of infertility than you will ever know.
You may feel like you are being helpful by reading up on infertility, and there is nothing wrong with learning more about the subject. The problem comes when you try to "play doctor" with your friends. They already have a doctor with years of experience in diagnosing and treating the problem. They need to work with and trust their doctor to treat the problem. You only complicate the issue when you throw out other ideas that you have read about. The doctor knows more about the causes and solutions; let your friends work with their doctor to solve the problem.
11-05-2011 17:01 #117Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
I will ensure she finds out when i get my BFP and we are out and she says, wheres my grandchild, Why wont you give my one, I'll say.... well, here it is hahah and point to my belly hahahah - Geez i haven't harped on that have i.
For all others that ask, I usually say, we are playing it by ear. Right now we are happy as things are... whats the rush... We want to be the best we can be before bringing someone into this earth who is going to look up and learn from us.
Then i ask, why did you decide to have kids...... It deflects from me and most people who ask questions like that usually love to talk so i let them.....
As my DF tells me everyday, it's not how soon, it's not how many, it's how you love them when they arrive.
11-05-2011 17:02 #118
Infertility 101 continued....
Don't Make Jokes
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don't make crude jokes about your friend's vulnerable position. Crude comments like "I'll donate the sperm" or "Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination" or “you can have my kid!” are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.
Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.
The number one rule is DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to anyone else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.
Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, "I'd gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby." When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, "I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes."
Stay sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can't bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn't rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.
Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don't follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn't ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.
Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.
Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.
Don't Gossip About Your Friend's Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.
Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband's sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend's privacy, and don't share any information that your friend hasn't authorized.
Don't Bring Up Adoption
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a "stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose. Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, "Why do you want to adopt a baby?" Instead, the question was, "Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?" Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another. Especially if your friend is in the midst of a treatment cycle or IVF cycle...the last thing she wants to hear is that you've already given up hope that she will conceive with that cycle. Once you bring up adoption, she feels like you have already moved on and don't believe she will conceive on her own. That is very hurtful.
You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn't her "own," then adoption isn't the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby. Let her go down that road when she is ready...you can't decide for her when she is ready.
Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, "Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.") However, "pushing" the issue can frustrate your friend. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue herself.
So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn't your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.
Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you simply care....it's really that simple, you don't need to say anything else. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren't going through this alone.
Remember Them on Mother's Day
With all of the activity on Mother's Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother's Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law.
Mother's Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother's Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven't "forgotten" them.
Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes.
Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don't encourage them to try again, and don't discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don't try to open that chapter again
ed's note: don't tell them to try a new doctor that got your friends mum's hairdresser pregnant. Just don't. Don't tell them your husband has super sperm. And don't forget to let them know you are pregnant. Finding out when you are well and truly ensconsed in your second semester is just plain rude. Don't trivialise their feelings or simplify their journey. Don't attempt to assume that you will know what they are feeling. Let them be the judge of that. Telling them you understand how they feel after getting your AF for the first time is in no way understanding how they feel. That is just the beginning of a tiny scratch for LTTC. Once you have a diagnosis, treatment plan or at least 12 months of the same sh*t, only then can that qualify you to understand how they feel.
11-05-2011 17:06 #119
Wowzers!!!....didn't realize it would come out quite that long on these narrow pages....sorry guys! I hope you have as many "Amen sister!" moments as what I had....
11-05-2011 18:01 #120
Thanks Ladydee. I just want to copy this and send it to all my family, friends and co-workers!!
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