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  1. #1
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    Default should I stay or should I go

    I would love ANY advice, difficult situation to describe

    Am currently pregnant with our planned bub..but we didn't plan much else, ie: if we could live together mostly.

    We don't live together and have been broken up with each other for the last few months. He is a complicated person with highly changeable moods and occasional outbursts of pure anger. I am very independent and strong and got pretty stressed dealing with his hot and cold moods and am more happy and stable alone.

    I wouldn't move in with him if it wasn't for bub. I rent a great place and wouldn't find anything as nice/cheap if I wanted to move out from living with him. I think bub and I would just be $ better off living alone? He will certainly be a dotting Dad in either way.

    I think he would benefit a lot from me and bub being there, but I'm not convinced bub and I would?

    Hmm I think I'm asking a big question,

    -is it too selfish of me to stay living apart, as a baby or child of any age should have Dad there from day1?

    Or is it just that a happy healthy home is better??
    Thank you for reading and your advice, any Dads too!!

  2. #2
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    Since becoming a SAHM I have started watching Dr Phil....there is something he says to people who are in a similar place to you:

    "Children would rather BE from a broken home than LIVE in one"

    This has always resonated with me.

    I hope you can find the answers you are looking for

  3. #3
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    I say follow your heart, only you will know whats right

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    I agree with Em'sMum! Spot on

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    Sorry I cant offer you much advice because the decision is in your hands but i say go with your heart too. Do what makes you happy, thats the best thing

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    You're obviously in a very difficult situation, Nona. It sounds like you love your partner but are unsure whether you can cope with the everyday business of putting up with each other (very difficult in all relationships, I think).

    Have you tried counselling ? Good counsellors may be able to assist you both to understand the issues more fully and it's often easier to talk to a third person about your viewpoint when there are so many emotional factors blocking our ability to communicate properly with our partner in a relationship.

    You may or may not be better off together but I think that you need to really be proactive about your relationship if living together would ever work.

    Good luck - with your relationship and with bub. I hope that everything works out well for you.

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    wa mum of 4 is offline Diana and I at Luna Park Giggle Giggle
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    Nona I dont think a baby is a good enough reason to be in a situation you are unhappy with.
    Follow your heart, but it sounds like you have already made up your mind.
    Good luck with what ever you choose and remember we are all here to vent and cry to if need be.

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    THANK YOU!! You Mums are all great

    I agree with all! I must say the 'follow your heart' thing gets muddled with the guilt feelings about 'what's best for the bubba'. But you're right it is a decision up to me and I imagine about the happy togetherness of both parents (even if apart).

    Yes counselling and pro-activeness indeed, v good suggestions. I do harbour those feelings like 'if I didn't do anything, this relationship would be absolutely nothing' which are feelings I dislike having and I don't express them usually.

    Part of it is wondering whether when all of me/my time is being consumed by bub whether I'd have any time/effort/love left to hold 'DP' and I together. Will keep going at it..

    THANK you again, v helpful and caring!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by nona View Post
    [FONT=Arial] He is a complicated person with highly changeable moods and occasional outbursts of pure anger.
    Do you REALLY want your child exposed to this?? I agree with Misskitty though, a child would rather be from a broken home than in one.

    Good luck deciding.


 

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