I have a 4 month old and am pregnant - how will I make this work? Scared.

[scarlett41]

Congratulations on your wonderful news!!!


My sister was born 2 days before my first birthday. Mum went onto have 6 kids (We are #1 and 2) so I think that in general it was OK. There was 3 years between us 2 and my brother!!

Look from a kids perspective it was fine but not fabulous( honestly I put it down to both of us being girls). As the older one I missed out on doing stuff "alone" (I got my ears pierced at 11 yo but my sister got them done at the same time so she was 10 yo). We are VERY different-I am studious and academic while she is not. This caused great tension particularly come VCE time. She is more sporty which caused tension because we were in the same age grouping yet she was playing in a better team. We were close in age so went in the same social circles. A lot of my sisters friends had older older sisters (as in 5/6 years older) and so she never understood why I wasn't a "cool" big sister (despite the fact we were practically raised as twins).

There are many more issues that we have both had from being so close together in age. Now that I am not living with her we get on really well but I think we will both always have that chip.

Like I said I think all of this is 1/ because we are both female 2/because of our completely different personalities 3/We ended up in such a large family anyways.

We never missed out on anything and our family is still close and very loving. If the same thing happened to me it would be fine but because of my experience I am definitely waiting a bit longer.

I want to stress to you that while I make it seem horrific I had a lovely childhood. It always gets peoples attention that we are the same age for 2 days every year and our guy friends have always thought my dad is an absolute champion for "knocking mum up' so quickly!!! In the end my sister and I-despite our many differences and obvious issues-have a bond that no one else shares.

My mum says of her situation "I was fine because I had to be". She got through it and had a marvellous support network (my grandparents owned the pub down the road and each day Grandma would bring mum a counter meal for lunch for the first couple of years!!) Plus the fact that she had another 4 kids must have meant it was ok!!!

Good Luck!!

[deux bleus]

I just posted this on a similar thread..

First, congrats on your BFP!!

My DS are 14 m apart.

Its def alot of work. I wouldnt say its 'hard' but rather 'full on'. 
In my instance, DS2 is a very fussy, clingy, unsettled baby so this is where I find my lack of time.
This is only my situation. You may be blessed with an angel and find yourself bored!? Lol
I absolutely love having my two so close. They will grow up together and always have a buddy. Its beautiful seeing them interact. 

The one thing I think you need to know is that, times can get very stressful and you wish you could split yourself in two, but just take each moment as it comes. Dont think about later or tomorrow, just handle it at that moment. Once its over, dont think about it again. Dont let yourself realise that what your doing is hard work because its easy to become overwhelmed. Just be proud of being a great Mummy and for handling your two little people.

All in all- No matter how challenging it may seem.. Every second is more than worth it!!

[MummyTwoINDIIANAHandNOAH]

Hey There..

There is 11 months between my children..I found it easy At First My Daughter Is Very Independant...she is Now 15 mths & my son 4 months things are gettin a little Harder as He Is somewhat advanced for his age and MY daughter Is getting Very cheeky.. dont stress motherhood comes naturally It's Strange You spend months stressing really for nothing It comes to you so easy and you have a young one its really nothing different.... congrats on no 2... There Is Honestly Nothing to worry about..

[bellalika]

I have a friend with a 10 1/2 month gap and another with a 12 month gap. They both handled the transition from 1 to 2 better than I did with my 25 month gap.

Congratulations!

[insaneblueeyez]

JellybeanInc, I know how you feel! I have 18months between mine. I wont lie to you, its hard. But you get through every day, and things get better. My youngest is now 13 months old, but in the beginning she had colic and reflux and I was breastfeeding all hours. BUT, it gets better!!!!!!
You make the best of it. My girls are finally becoming friends, and they are starting to play together, bath together, eat the same food, and both have a nap at 12 everyday. That gives me some mummy time.
You can rely on family or friends, playgroup, all of us. I have a friend who I ring when I have a bad day and we have a coffee and let the kids run rampant.

For all said and done, I wouldnt have it any other way. They both love the same things now, and my youngest worships my eldest. Its beautiful.

Its normal to be scared, I was terrified. But it gets better. I promise.

Take care, and feel free to PM me any time day or night! xxx

[One of THOSE mums!]

It is completely normal to be scared. I am utd with #2 and there will be a 20 month gap. Even I winder sometimes how I will cope.

My sister is 11 months younger than me, so my mum has been a great source of advice and support.
She said that it was easier than she expected. And what made it easier is that my sister and I had each other. Being close in age we could play with each other, help each other and be best friends.

Ur dh is right. It is an exciting time. Try to look forward to all the positives that are to come!

[bellalika]

Another positive for you. My friend just toilet trained her 3 yr old and her younger son (10.5 month gap) toilet trained himself at the same time. Bonus!


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[Tam-I-Am]

Wow, that would be totally freaking me out too!

I guess the thing is, you have almost 9 months to get used to the idea of adding this new baby into your life. It will probably be extremely challenging, with nightwakings and 2 in nappies, and your oldest will still be a baby when your youngest comes along...but you WILL make it work. Probably mostly because you'll have no choice but you know what they say - Necessity is the mother of invention. You'll find ways to make it work.

I'd suggest buying a really good infant sling so that you can be hands free to deal with your oldest as much of the time as you. I'd also make sure that you sleep WHENEVER your bub does during your pregnancy, otherwise when your second is born you're going to be absolutely exhausted.

Good luck I'm sure it will be fine.

[waterlily]

My BFF fell pregnant when her DS was 4 weeks old. She always says it was hard work but she is SO glad she had them so close.

They nap together, eat together, play with the same toys. Her DS is a bit rough (used to playing with my roughy) but other then that they are really good together. Her DD is now 12 months. She did it all alone too!!!

[Mrs Nietzsche]

This has been me... twice.

I think how hard it is really depends on the personalities involved. The first time I had the 14 mth gap as my 14 mth old still woke several times during the night, and he is *very* demanding.

The second time (4 mths ago) has been a snap in comparison.

IN 9 mths time, things will be very different.

Hopefully sleeping will be going well as that's a biggie.

You will work it out!

My kids are soo close now. You're going to love it. Tough.. but it will be great. One more

The have been some tough bits with DS wanting to sit on her, and then another bit where he was pushing.. but we've got through those. And if you are willing to go again, the next time with the same gap has been much easier!