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  1. #1
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    Unhappy 13 yr old girl begins high school

    Hi there all,

    I'm a mum of 3 (girl 13, boy 8boy nearly 3) So, been slapped in the face of recent with my DD starting year 8, which in WA is the first year of highschool!

    Whoa.....the way things change so quickly! There is so much competition between the girls with weight, hair, makeup etc etc! She goes to a private school so make up isn't allowed, jewellery isn't allowed, only a very discrete cross of somekind and there is a large emphasis on respect of the school uniform! She is so worried about how she looks that she isn't constantly in battle with me over her clothing....it's too big...it's baggy....it doesn't fit....look how dumb I look!! She has been in private schooling her schooling life so the uniform isn't anything new to her but how she looks in it is!! The uniform looks great on her and fits perfect but of course not in her eyes!

    BOYS.....OMG, have just come into the picture for the first time also! She has decided that not eating is the best and most time efficient way of losing weight! So getting her to eat is a mission in itself...finding food behind her desk in her bedrooom....saying she's full and feels sick after little amounts! She has always loved her food so I know this isn't normal for her but I think that the emphasis on how she looks is far greater!

    I don't want this to spiral out of control. There is a very fine line I'm coming across of the right and wrong thing to say...you doomed if you do and you're doomed if you don't! Do I just leave it for a little while and not focus on it or do I have the 'chat' now? I'm finding than any reference to food ends in an arguement! I've bought all of her favourite foods etc, had them all ready made and easy for her to grab, she's not interested. Up and Go drinks seem to be the 'fashionable' thing to take to school and thats' all she's having til dinner time!!

    I'm open to any suggestions/comments regarding this!! Very hard to cope with....time for me to stop being a friend and be a parent but it's very hard!


  2. #2
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    I have a 17 yr dd in yr12.
    I wanted to let you know what happening is very common. My advice is to keep and eye on it but don't make it so it's he only or thing you talk about most. keep up with having things she like at hand for her. Maybe shop with her and talk about what foods she would like to eat. If she wants diet yogurt then get her some, it better to have her eat diet food than none at all. Some of the other ladies might have more advice on the hiding food etc. (I would ask about in the general chat section, there is more traffic there)

    Girls of this age really need a parent more than a friends. Friends are dime a dozen but you only get one mum. A friend will tell you what you want to hear, a mum will tell you what you need to hear even if it hurts.
    I make sure we have mum, dd time to talk everyday. For us it is in the car. You need to keep the lines of communication open. They need to be able to talk to you with out feeling like you are only there to punish them. Try and find out as much about things she likes so you have something that she wants to talk about with you. I don't ever have a *special chat*, we talk about those (sex,drugs etc) as part of our everyday chat. She knows she can ask me anything and she has certainly asked some doozies.

    I hope i have helped in some way. Feel free to pm me if you ever need to chat

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    sweetsugardumplin'  (17-02-2011)

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    sweetsugardumplin' is offline be the change you want to see in da world
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    Great advice from Loving5

    I just wanna offer some


 

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