Please help I'm at a bit of a loss ATM. My baby passed away at 39 +4 and The hospital really want to induce and try VB . I don't think emotionally I am up to it. but being my first and the associated risks they're really pushing to not go down the cs under gen. I just dont think I can be awake through it. They said birthing is part of the healing process and I could regret not getting to exp my sons birth. But I think birthing your dead son vaginally is worse .. Any advice??! I have about an hr and a half till I go backto hospital
Results 1 to 10 of 21
17-02-2011 05:47 #1
Urgent advice needed: C/S Under GA?
17-02-2011 05:56 #2
Oh wow, you poor thing.
I'm kind of thread crashing here, but I honestly had to answer. I'm just hurting for you.
I really don't have advice, I couldn't possibly think I could help you with this kind of decision.
All i can say is Go with your gut.
Hear them out, they have dealt with this before, and there would be a reason they would say that, but ultimately, I would think the only decision you would regret would be one that you felt pressured into.
Do you have someone as a support person?
I hope a lovely bubhubber can give you some better answers, I just had to tell you that I'm feeling for you.
17-02-2011 05:58 #3
Oh wow, I am so sorry for your loss. I tend to agree with the hospital.. All risks aside, you will probably regret not being there for his birth. Right now it all seems too hard and painful, but one day you'll be able to look back at the precious time spent with your son and the pain won't be the biggest part of the memory.
Good luck making the decision, my heart is aching for you.
17-02-2011 06:00 #4
Oh Bub2be, I'm so so sorry for your loss. I can't offer any advice because I haven't been in this situation, but I could go by without offering some hugs for you.
Good luck with your decision. Remember that ultimately it's your body and you should make the decision that feels right.
17-02-2011 06:07 #5
I have been where you are now..I lost my baby at 26 week.
Please listen to the hospital they know what is right for you..I was like you wanting a C/S and the hospital was against it and now i am so glad that i listen to them......This is how i understood it...You are going to walk out of that hospital with empty arms and then you will have a scar to remind you of what you should of had..I know that you will never forget your little baby...They can give you all the pain relief to help you though a VB...
I am here if you want to talk or want to know more...
17-02-2011 06:11 #6
I VB my DD1 who had passed away at 25 weeks.
I must agree the birth was very much part of the healing process. In fact, I doubt i would be in the place I am in emotionally and mentally without it.
I was able to meet my daughter in my own terms, I tightly managed the birth so it went my way - and I had a Doula who helped me.
I needed to have my birth my way as I am a survivor of sexual abuse and I needed to be in control of my birth so I didn't have feelings that would make feel uncomfortable and out of control. The fact I had a stillborn was now even another factor to consider.
I had been mentally prepared, and emotionally ready as we knew for the prior 6 weeks she wasn't going to survive and we had a week from her passing until I went into hospital so I could gather my thoughts and know what I wanted to do.
There is nothing I regret about my birth.
This is important because all we have is their birth. This is sadly our one and only chance to meet them. Everything after wards is simply a copy, a memory that must be clung to.
You must look very deep within your heart and find what it says - either decision you make - this will be the hardest thing you will have ever done.
Whatever you can do to ensure you feel at peace now and in the future is the most important thing.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I want to give you a big hug xxxx
Please PM me if you have any questions.
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17-02-2011 06:12 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
I have not experienced this but I do believe it is part of the healing process. If you avoid this step you may be making things a lot harder on yourself for the future. Hugs. Stay strong.
17-02-2011 06:17 #8
So sorry for your loss, I do not have any advice but lots of
17-02-2011 07:01 #9
So sorry for your loss if you go down the csection under a general route please ask to be put under for the prep as it won't effect your birthing outcome and I found being awake when they placed central lines traumatic. Also ask for nerve blockers on either side of the incision. Also see if you can request to be placed on the general ward not the postnatal ward no matter how you birth, you dont need to hear other babies cries
17-02-2011 09:05 #10
I am so sorry for your loss.
I too have lost a baby and was induced to birth him vaginally. I thought it was aweful to make me have to give birth to my baby that had passed away, BUT i am glad i did. It helped me emotionally and mentally.
Don't get me wrong it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life, and while i was waiting for labour to proceed, i did alot of sole searching and prepared myself.
You are allowed to have any pain killers you feel you need, to make the birth as easy and painfree as possible. And you will be able to hold your baby and say good bye.
BabushkaMumma has given you some awesome advice too.
Again i am sorry for your loss, but remember there are quite a few of us on the hub that have lost babies in utero and are here to chat/vent when you are ready.
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