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  1. #1
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    Default How to toilet train a toddler that can't communicate

    DS is 2.5yo and me and DP have been discussing lately about toilet training him, Ive looked up so many things on how to toilet train successfully, but how do you train a toddler that can't talk? He can't tell you if they have to go. How do you know when. Anyone been in this situation or have any tips on how I can try to toilet train DS.

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    Have a look at the Toilet Training section, specifically Elimination Communication, or EC. Also Google it, there's YouTube videos and heaps of info.

    Basically it's the theory to follow our natual instincts to "eliminate" away from where we sleep (eg not in a nappy). And it's they way our families did generations ago, also what many non-western cultures still do now. My MIL swares my DH has toilet trained at 8 months using these methods and there are many similar stories.

    Good luck!

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    My DD is nearly 2.5 and cannot really talk either. I tried to get her to sit on the toilet but didn't have much luck there so I brought her a potty and she just sat on it one day for a while and just so happened to do a wee and after that she's been toilet training herself. She takes her nappy off to do a wee on the potty and hasn't had any accidents yet or she will run to the toilet. I just try and listen to what she's up to and I generally catch on pretty quickly if she runs to the toilet. She did do it in her own time though, when she was ready. Although in saying that, she will take her nappy off to use the potty or use it no problems if she's has no nappy/pants on at all but as soons as I put undies on her she will wee in them

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    sniper wolf is offline current proud SaHM to 2 humans of varying ages
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    there's the 3 day toilet training approach you can buy (look it up) as a download from the net. it can be used on kids that dont speak much. from 22 months onwards.

    we recently did it- it took us a bit over 2 weeks rather than 3 days for it to all click. but i thought even 2 weeks was pretty good. the good thing about this approach is that it gave clear instructions on how to go about it. and it was all about being nice and responsive. it is gruelling though but it finally worked!

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    DS is only 18 months and we haven't started toilet training yet, however he does pretty well at communicating things that happen on a regular basis.

    For example if he wants his drink refilled, he'll find me (by yelling muuuuuum at the top of his lungs ), give me his cup and then point to the fridge.

    I suppose that if you bought a potty/toilet seat and sat him on there regularly, after he went to the toilet on there a few times, he would probably cotton on and point to it or sit on it himself (if it's a potty in his reach) when he is ready. Let him run around with no nappy on so he can see when he is weeing etc.

    Good luck

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    My grandma toilet trained me before I could even walk! I grew up in a non western culture (in Fiji) and this how they did it. Basically, she got me into a routine of the same thing everyday from about 5 or 6 months old. Wake up, feed, play, bath, massage, then sit me on the potty whether I needed to go or not. She did the same thing everyday and eventually, I just went in the potty. Anyways, by the time I was walking, I walked to the potty and went myself.

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    My DD 20mths is just starting to TT. She can speak yet but we have a potty out in the open with a lid on it, so I just hear her when she takes the lid off and rush over to help with her nappy & sitting etc. Prior to this I would just sit her on the potty before her bath and occasionally she'd do wees (which would be rewarded with a smartie). Now that she'd doing more I printed off a chart & stick on stickers for her when she does one in the toilet/potty.

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    sweetums89  (07-02-2011)

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    RoseKathleen is offline ...Yes - motherhood is a full-time job!
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    Hi Sweetums,

    My DS trained at 2.5years - it took three days! No joke! I was the most surprised! For months I had been trying to get him to use the potty - no luck. He would sit on it for one second then jump off. He had managed to do a couple of wees in it, but that was it. He was also a non-talker, so communication was a big problem.

    Then I went out and bought a ladder for the toilet - I showed him he could climb up on it by himself and sit by himself. He was so happy.

    Then I decided that today was the day for no nappies. I put him in training pants and asked him every 30 minutes if he needed to do a wee (he got rather angry at me continuously asking - so I gave up on that!).

    Then I took him outside, took his pants off and he did a wee on the lawn. I didn't bother putting pants back on then. And for the rest of the day he happily ran outside to do a wee on the lawn when he needed to.

    The following day he either ran to the toilet and did it all by himself, or outside. He spend the day without pants, and that afternoon he did a poo on the lawn (ugh!). But he was upset about it, so together we picked it up and took it to the toilet and flushed it. That made him happy.

    The following day he did another poo - this time inside on his way to the toilet. So we picked it up again, and flushed it.

    And from that day on, he always did poos in the toilet (there were no more poo accidents) and he did wees in the toilet or regularly outside. (We have had a couple of wee accidents - but that is to be expected.) I don't help him at all, only to wipe his bottom after poo, but not until HE calls me.

    Your son definitely understands you, so just explain that this is what he needs to do, leave his pants off so he can practice by himself, and don't get angry if he misses. It will be fine!

    Good luck!


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    Thank you all for your responses, very much appreciated. He does seem abit weary of the potty but Im sure he will get use to it. I tried taking his nappy off and letting him run around etc but he goes and gets his nappy and insists I put them on him. I am determined to get him trained. So Im gona try my hardest to get him to go after naps etc and get use to it and well I can tell when his doing a poo, so taking him to the potty shouldnt be hard for that (he gets a real worried look and stops what his doing and just stands there looking at nothing inparticular). Fingers crossed that Im successful. Oh and I will be using a sticker chart, and am prepared for all the messes.

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    Just thought id add to this one. My nephew is 3 and he is blind and has a few other health problems. He was toilet trained by a word cue. I cant remember what the word actually is but there is no reason why you couldnt try and train him with a specific 'cue' for going to the toilet. Like sign language for 'toilet' or something. When you know he is due to go to the toilet (just before a bath/shower or after a meal, etc.), do the 'cue' and eventually he will pick up on it. But you have to be really consistent. If he does something in his nappy, then take him to the toilet anyway and use the 'cue' aswell.
    It did take my brother a long time to get his little man to get the hang of it, but he is doing just fine now. Its amazing!

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