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  1. #81
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    hard work pays off. Imagine your child is 5, 10, 15, 19.... will you still say 'it's just easier to give them what they want...

    Will you give your kid that car, that phone, those $400 sneakers. When they in trouble with the cops will you try to tell the cop that its just easier to give him/her what she wants... Because that the trend you started when they were 2?

    When they can't afford a house or rent and come to you will it just be easier to pay their rent?

    I am teaching mine to stop and think and there are lines that will not be crossed even it is means it's harder on me at the start.

  2. #82
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    I pick my battles.
    10 more minutes is often fine, if it's not I give a reason.
    Wanting something, nope has to be earned.
    Manners are non-negotiable.

    Someone previously said they stopped seeing a friend because they asked her kid to say please/thank you... I would expect the same. If I give your child something, they say thanks, if they ask for something they say please. If you have a problem with that, well honestly I don't believe your manners would be good either and we wouldn't be friends in the first place.

    ETA: whoa this thread it old.
    Last edited by DT75; 12-04-2017 at 12:05.

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    babybloom  (28-04-2017)

  4. #83
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    I never say no unless it is actually necessary and there is a good reason.

    But, if there is a good reason then I dont give in either. In the words of Dr Phil "Avoid confrontation with your children, but if you must have one, dont EVER lose".

    I tend to live by that.

    For example, today my 2 year old had a mega tantrum because I am wearing a navy shirt with white spots and she apparently "hates that shirt". This would be an example of a "Suck it up princess" moment. I'm not changing my shirt because she doesnt like it.

    We were at the shops and she was desperate for a chocolate frog at the check out. I just bought the chocolate frog. I mean, come on, is that worth a mega tanty in the supermarket that is going to cause disruption and probably require me to abandon a trolley full of groceries? No way Jose.

    Just pick your battles. Some things arent worth the drama.

    The OP, playground example, I give them a 10 minutes heads up we are leaving, a 5 minute heads up we are leaving, then when it is time to leave, if they dont come, I pick up the screaming toddler, stick her under my arm and just walk to the car completely ignoring the judgmental stares from the cappuccino wielding brigade... but then again, Im an old hand at this, It might be different for new parents who still have the emotional energy to care about other mums reactions.

  5. #84
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    One thing I have learned from my recent research into behaviour issues (since my 5yr old son is a "difficult child"), is that you can't always apply the same discipline methods for every child. Each child is an individual and behaves in a certain way for a multitude of reasons, including at times, having to deal with anxiety, developmental delays, physical intolerances, and varying temperaments, or they might have ADD/ADHD/ASD or whatever else - you can't look at a child having a tantrum and say that the parent should respond in a particular way. You have no idea what that child has been through or that parent.

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    Mod-Wise Enough  (12-04-2017)

  7. #85
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    My 3 year old has tantrums sometimes. Ususlly because hes frustrated or annoyed. At the park if he doesn't want to leave (usually hes ok though) he has a tantrum. I let him have one. I let him know Im here and its ok to cry but we still need to go. Hes fine after a few minutes into the car ride.
    I can't stand when people punish their children for having tantrums.

  8. #86
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    I don't force my children to say please and thank you. I role model it. Occasionally they forget. Theres a difference between saying thank you or please than actually being grateful. Same with sorry. Forcing them to say sorry only makes them resentful. Once again I role model. I know when they say sorry or show they're sorry it wasnt forced and they mean it. I practice respectful parenting and punishent-free parenting. Doesn't mean my children do whatever they want.

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    Soon2be4  (13-04-2017)

  10. #87
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    This thread is from 2011...


 

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