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  1. #21
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    My ex said to me one night (while he was drunk) "I love every inch of you but if you were to lose a few inches I wouldn't complain"

    I told him where to go.

    DP and I know that both of us need to get fitter so we can run around after our children and we're working together and encouraging each other.

  2. #22
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    No because I've never needed to lose weight but we do comment on each other's eating habits if we notice the other indulging too often. Being fit and healthy is a big part of who we are so we don't really get upset over it. If DH started gaining noticeable amounts of weight I'd comment and vice versa. My parents comment and encourage each other too.

  3. #23
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    i shockingly put on over 30 kg in my first preg, went from 60kg to over 90kg. He commented a lot by the end of the pregnancy and I really felt like crap. I had no stretch marks until my due date, and I got a WHOLE LOT of them in the 10 days I was over due. Well, DD was born and one week later I was down to 74kg, because the midwife said it was all fluid retention and a whopping big baby and placenta that both weighed 9kg together. Then I put on a lot breastfeeding and then just as I had stopped and started loosing the weight, I got pg again and went up past my first weight even though I swore I would never do that again. This time though I was really sick and vomiting a lot and lost weight the first half, then I ballooned in weeks the second half. Again it was massive water retention but I only was down to 78kg after second DD, but through diet and walking got back down to 68kg and a size 10. That was when DH decided to tell me how fat I am and that now that I am losing weight he should probably mention how disgusting I was when I was overweight (I WAS pregnant or just given birth when overweight!!) He hated that I didn't loose weight after the first one and was upset at how slow I was losing the weight from the second. ERM I was back to 68kg from 90+ being pregnant. I am tall and my usual weight is 60kg. HE told me he wants me to keep losing weight until i am about a size 6. WELL like other PP have said.. shattered my confidence, I then gained a lot again being depressed and feeling too ashamed at my fat size 10 butt to leave the house. now he says he is sorry he mentioned anything because I gained weight and he said it to make me lose more weight. Oh.. gee.. thanks... Stupid part being that he said how grossed out he was watching me eat when I was pregnant even though he would buy me food, encourage me to have seconds etc. I was never even obese looking when pregnant.. just huge and pregnant with massive stomachs both times.

    Extra note... funny how the men who have commented seem to be overweight themselves.. DH still sees himself as this fit football playing young man when he gained as much as me in my pragnancies and has not lost a kg but steadily keeps gaining week by week. He still talks about going back to play as though he is still fit and could actually do it.

  4. #24
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    Yes but in a nice way. He was concerned about my health and suggest that i do take the help (surgery) i needed to do it.. I was 178.8 kg though so I really did need help.

    How did you take it? Very good, I was glad he supported me and was willing to do what ever it took to help me.

    What did you do? I had the surgery and have now lost over 67 kgs

    What is your relationship like now? Fantastic.

    It's probably not the answer you were excepted.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by MelbourneMummy View Post
    i shockingly put on over 30 kg in my first preg, went from 60kg to over 90kg. He commented a lot by the end of the pregnancy and I really felt like crap. I had no stretch marks until my due date, and I got a WHOLE LOT of them in the 10 days I was over due. Well, DD was born and one week later I was down to 74kg, because the midwife said it was all fluid retention and a whopping big baby and placenta that both weighed 9kg together. Then I put on a lot breastfeeding and then just as I had stopped and started loosing the weight, I got pg again and went up past my first weight even though I swore I would never do that again. This time though I was really sick and vomiting a lot and lost weight the first half, then I ballooned in weeks the second half. Again it was massive water retention but I only was down to 78kg after second DD, but through diet and walking got back down to 68kg and a size 10. That was when DH decided to tell me how fat I am and that now that I am losing weight he should probably mention how disgusting I was when I was overweight (I WAS pregnant or just given birth when overweight!!) He hated that I didn't loose weight after the first one and was upset at how slow I was losing the weight from the second. ERM I was back to 68kg from 90+ being pregnant. I am tall and my usual weight is 60kg. HE told me he wants me to keep losing weight until i am about a size 6. WELL like other PP have said.. shattered my confidence, I then gained a lot again being depressed and feeling too ashamed at my fat size 10 butt to leave the house. now he says he is sorry he mentioned anything because I gained weight and he said it to make me lose more weight. Oh.. gee.. thanks... Stupid part being that he said how grossed out he was watching me eat when I was pregnant even though he would buy me food, encourage me to have seconds etc. I was never even obese looking when pregnant.. just huge and pregnant with massive stomachs both times.

    Extra note... funny how the men who have commented seem to be overweight themselves.. DH still sees himself as this fit football playing young man when he gained as much as me in my pragnancies and has not lost a kg but steadily keeps gaining week by week. He still talks about going back to play as though he is still fit and could actually do it.

    This is totally different situation to mine. My hubby still told me he found me sexy even at my highest weight. I am sorry he is treating you this way.

  6. #26
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    I think if said in a polite manner it's a wonderful thing. I haven't had to lose weight yet but I'm sure after I've had this baby he won't hesitate to let me know. He has already told me how long it should take to get baby weight off and how he is going to support me(e.g by looking after NB 3 times a week so I can exercise)
    You need support!!!!
    My BF's DH hassles her everyday about her being overweight but he will NOT look after the baby AT ALL so she can exercise!
    I mean it's 45 mins 3 times a week and her DH won't support her so I find this sad!!

  7. #27
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    TimTamsandTea is offline ...if only all relationships were so perfectly sweet!
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    No, dh has never told me to lose weight. Then again, I have zero self-esteem and he has known me for so long that he knows better! But truth be told, I'm my own worst critic and I say aloud what he may be thinking anyway ... he's just clever enough not to agree.

    Very early on in our relationship, he made a few comments about 'how much better my figure would be if I just toned up a little' or that he was 'a legs man' (the part of my body I happen to loathe the most!) and those comments, said 14 years ago still haunt me! It did give me extra motivation to stay on target, but I resented him a little for being so honest.

    Our relationship is fine. I have commented on my appearance frequently over the last nearly 3 years (and never in a positive manner) and he has often gotten upset saying that my body was growing a baby/recovering from pregnancy/breastfeeding etc (and he's perfectly right) and appears to be genuine in his understanding of this. We'll see what happens after baby #2 arrives ...

  8. #28
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    The thing is, he still found me sexy when he wasn't heavy, and also when we could have sex all the time. I have a prolapse now and it is painful in the good times, so it does affect things a bit. He still gropes me and calles me hot, and he doesn't mention my weight at all now, even though I am a size 12. He called me fat at a size 10.. still can't figure that one out. I was only ever a size ten when he met me, but a size 10 with perky breasts, flatter stomach, no stretch marks and no prolapsed vagina. I mean, it is fair enough for him to say I have changed, but they way he did it was wrong wrong wrong and really crushed me. I thought the father of the children that caused my body to change like this would have understood why it had to change... to give birth. I was the same size as when he met me when he said those comments, so I was more crushed because I felt he was disgusted by the parts of me that had changed to give birth to his children.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkzy View Post
    My ex told me to lose weight. I was receiving treatment for Anorexia when we started dating...about 18 months later (after treatment, physically recovered & living together), he was drunk and in a mood.

    He told me "you've really let yourself go" in his usual pathetic, whiny, tone (I was maybe 3kg MAX overweight). I reminded him that his advice really was baseless since he was considered to be (and LOOKED) morbidly obese I also told him as well as diet and exercise, he needed some sensitivity lessons in talking to women about such personal issues. I also hinted towards the exercise bike in the corner of the room and smirked. I dumped his stupid *ss not long after.
    did we date the same guy?
    DH agrees with me now, when I complain about my weight, but would never tell me that I needed to diet.
    I had an ED for many years, pregnancy&breastfeeding are the first times I haven't measured my food and exercised excessively. (and I've put on 40kg!)

  10. #30
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    No.

    I have gone from 55kg to 99kg and my DP still loves me the way I am. He has NEVER said anything about my weight unless I hound him about it saying "don't like i know your ashamed etc etc"... I mean I know i was so much healthier, happier etc before.

    He is over weight and was when i met him, now together we are loosing weight.

    If anyone told me to loose weight, I would liturally go nuts. After years of bullying etc of being "too fat" which got me down to being so slim before then rebounding to being obese AGAIN it would just be a revolting circle.

    Seriously, do men think with there brains? HE WANTS YOU TO LOOSE WEIGHT? Well we want a million dollars and a cleaner.


 

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