Well out of eight eggies, six fertilised and then only two were ok, so we had a lovely day 2 embie go onbaord and one frozen for later.
Feeling good, very OHHMMM relaxed as i got home and my acu /TCM woman came over and did acu as I snoozed on my bed at home. I adore her
Now on holidays so this will be the first TWW of pure relaxtion.
BT 30th December...
Results 1,321 to 1,330 of 1333
15-12-2011 16:42 #1321
15-12-2011 17:52 #1322
Spot, congrats on being PUPO!!! 1 to transfer, 1 to freeze is a smashing result! Enjoy the calm and serenity and sending you truckloads of
I also agree with your earlier post, sometimes there is nothing for it but to wallow and allow yourself to truly feel the pain and disappointment. I believe it makes for a more authentically lived life and ultimately opens the door to feeling hopeful and and positive again when the time is right. I have tried to bargain with myself and protect my heart in so many ways during this journey but ultimately, if you don't have hope you wouldn't persevere, and there is no guarding your heart from disappointment when you want something so badly.
Millie, how are you doing our other PUPO lady?
The Following User Says Thank You to Starf1sh For This Useful Post:
15-12-2011 20:42 #1323Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
Sorry I've had another extended break from here, particularly when so much has been going on.
mum4nay - Your most recent post was quite devastating. I don't want to try to say anything as I don't think I can really understand what you must be feeling, but I hope you and DH can find a way to work through all of this together. As others have said, I'm sure Nathan is a beautiful little kid. You'll need plenty of time to talk to people and work out the best way forward for him and your family, including your precious little #2 who is now so close to joining the world. Lots of hugs for you
starfish - yes, when is the #$%&^ end for you lovely lady?? did you have your appt with FS on 13 december? did s/he have any useful thoughts? are you doing your dummy cycle at the moment? I hope you're feeling that you're able to prepare really well for another cycle in the new year, and getting the support you need. the holiday you have planned sounds wonderful and hope you are continuing to take really good care of yourself. I agree with your most recent post, that you do have to allow yourself to feel the pain. No point in pushing it away. Feel it, knowing that you will emerge the other side
tryingfortwo - hoping that that cramping has not come back and that all was well with your scan
millie - hoping all went smoothly with your ET yesterday and have everything crossed in great big pretzel shapes that you get the most amazing xmas pressie It is absolutely without a doubt your turn too
spot - yippeee for PUPO and snowing you under with . your attitude is brilliant. looking forward to a wonderful result for you
dear pinkB - what a gem you are with your unstintingly supportive posts . Fantastic to hear of your most recent scan results, and I cannot believe you have less than 10 weeks to go. February is just around the corner!
swedeendie - you too are a marvel of unerring positivity and supportiveness. I have a Swedish sister-in-law - and can somehow feel the care oozing out of your posts No doubt you are preparing for a very special first Christmas with your lovely little boy
drmummy - really lovely of you to check in on us all. Very sorry to hear about your ICU experience (sounds terrifying, and for something it sounds like should have been picked up on) but hope all is going well with your gorgeous little Eric, who looks like a complete treasure.
AFM - enormous thanks to all of you for your support after my latest BFN. I've needed to back off from the whole TTC and get my life back for a bit. It's been a very busy time too. I turned the big 4-0 yesterday Actually it's not so bad now that I'm the other side. I can see that life does go on .... When I spoke to FS after the BFN, she said she wants to investigate possible reasons for recurrent implantation failure. Have just had a whole swathe of blood tests (no results yet) and the plan is to do an endometrial biopsy in January. Involves twilight sedation and taking a fairly generous sample of the endometrium to investigate for infection, NKC and possibly other stuff (I didn't ask for more details). It also has a similar sort of effect to a D&C in that it 'roughs up' the lining. So we will go ahead with these things and see if they shed any light. If NKC show up, we'll need to think long and hard about what to do. For now, though, trying to just have a real break from it all.
16-12-2011 10:06 #1324
Spot - I just had to sneek in and say congrats on being PUPO......here's hoping this is your Xmas miracle.....you deserve it honey
Hello to everyone
The Following User Says Thank You to amum21 For This Useful Post:
16-12-2011 14:05 #1325
Thanks so much to everyone for your support - life is a little easier now. I'm focusing energy on the beautiful little boy I've been blessed with and what he CAN do and slowly slowly we'll chip away at all the things he can't do. Somehow we'll slowly get to all the assessments/diagnosis etcetc, but for now just focusing on doing some intensive private speech work. It's ok - just I'll be incapable of an adult conversation soon!! Just doing one word at a time over and over again at present and building up a vocab. A long long road awaits
Spot and Millie - congratulations to the PUPO queens -
And a big HAPPY birthday to dear Slinky - 40 isn't so different to 39... and they reckon 40's are the new 30's - I'll subscribe to that theory
T42 - hope your pregnancy is ok and all cramping stopped?????? I think of you alot too
HI to all I've missed
16-12-2011 19:14 #1326
Spot - the bravest of them all.
Sending so much love and best wishes to you and your embie.
16-12-2011 19:17 #1327
Slinky, great to hear from you! And gorgeous!!! Your FS sounds really proactive and I hope there is some useful information for you from all of your tests.
Mum4nay, you are a wise (and wonderful) woman
AFM, The cycle monitoring is showing a thin endo again so there goes my theory re: OCP being the cause I have no idea why this is suddenly happening after no probs with this prior and apparently neither does my FS (however he thinks it could be due to POF). So I saw Dr S this week and I found the visit highly frustrating, in part because I asked lots of questions I didn't like/agree with his answer to! I feel like the more I look to a 3rd party to 'solve' our fertility problem the more anxious I become and I'm beginning to wonder if FS' take on everything is the right direction for us? Somehow we ended up discussing what comes next if none of our 3 frosties work. I found it thoroughly depressing and it's not a place I am ready to visit yet.
The big take home message was that I should not be so focused on the endo lining and if an embryo has 'the goods' it will implant regardless. REALLY??? (I think it was at this point that he produced the overseas donor catalogue and I went into shock , my DH was livid!)
He has a protocol he uses to increase lining for a medicated FET but it isn't much more than I have already done for my last transfer (Cartia, Clexane, a herb called pycnogenol, progynova and prednisolone...have never tried prednisolone). The other option he suggested was that I could have a hysteroscopy (more surgery! ) to check for any adhesions impacting the lining (possibly from D&C's) and also undergo scarification to encourage new lining growth. I seriously have no f@#$% idea how to proceed from here. On the one hand I'm terrified of wasting my precious ED embryos and on the other.... I just want to crawl up into the fetal position and rock In my really crazy (or perhaps lucid?) moments I think we should just have some time off from all the intervention and TTC on our own for a while again
Apologies for the ramble/rant. Thankfully we have a holiday on the horizon to mull it all over.
Have a wonderful weekend all
Last edited by Starf1sh; 17-12-2011 at 07:26. Reason: edited due to longwinded rant!
17-12-2011 07:26 #1328
Hey starfish - long time no hear!!! Now I found whet you've been hiding out (from the Sydney thread)
You poor thing sounds like you've had a terrible week- you must be emotionally exhausted with all that medical talk, options (or opinions) - all in all, you will make the right decision for you and you DH - wishing you all the best babe and hoping next year is a happier year for you and so many more in the Bub hub ivf community
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18-12-2011 10:40 #1329
Starfish, first of all how bloody ****** unfair this TTC journey is! You have been through so much and its totally horribly unfair, unfair, unfair that you should have to go through all of this just to have a child, which should be EVERY woman's birthright.
I just wanted to get that out there again, to tell you that all of us are so angry at what fate has given you, and hoping and praying it shifts soon.
I'm never sure if this helps, but thought I might just jot down my own experience with thin endo/surgery options - sometimes it has helped me to read other people's decisions/experiences - I am not saying this is the right thing to do for everyone just what I decided and what worked for me. As you might recall after my D&Cs I had no period, then had a very thin endo (scarring can't be visualised on ultrasound). I consulted 2 gynae/FS about what to do because I am by now so mistrustful of the whole medical profession (sorry, but its true) and just did not want/could barely contemplate more bloody surgery. Anyway, both FSs raised the possibility of adhesions/scarring/Asherman's Syndrome. I am someone who scars easily if I ever get a cut on my skin and my laparoscopy 2 years ago found adhesions from my Caesarian and my appendectomy that my FS had not expected, so I thought it made sense that I would have been in the 1% who got scarring from D&Cs. It was enough to give me the courage to face another anaesthetist, anyway! I decided to go ahead with a hysteroscopy rather than risk any more of our embies on what might be a lost cause but made FS promise that she would ONLY remove any scarring/adhesions with microscissors (no laser) and would otherwise leave everything alone - I wanted minimal intervention even if that meant further surgery later on. I think at this stage it was about control for me, I was starting to feel like my poor old cervix had been opened more often than the front door of the Commonwealth Bank and my uterus had been crashed and bashed to breaking point. Anyway you know the rest - FS did find scarring around my cervix and removed it, but left the old blood behind (sorry if TMI) and I was then placed on Progynova to help stop the scarring from re-forming and then had the AF from hell the next month. My FS won't do a transfer unless lining is 8mm, and with Progynova support plus acupuncture and Raspberry Leaf Tea I just managed to get there the next month and as you know am now 19 weeks. I know that there are two schools of thought on lining, that for some it is not a big deal whereas for others like my new FS they have their own limits on what endo they will work with. For me personally I felt that it was unlikely that I had spontaneously developed a thin endo after 3 years of monitoring through various IUI/IVF cycles with no issue - sure I'm 39 but I just felt it wouldn't happen so quickly without an exogenous cause. I am not a scientist or a medical person (although after all these years of fertility treatment I reckon I might qualify ) but I do believe I know my body better than anybody else. Anyway that's my story.
Here's hoping the New Year brings everyone on this thread beautiful bouncing babies! Thanks for all your good thoughts about me, the cramping has eased and last week's ultrasound showed a squirmy little BOY! Cervix still nice an long so that's good too. Dr couldn't visualise everything he needed to see about baby's heart so I am worried about that, but he could see 4 chambers which is positive so we go back in 4 weeks to take another look.
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18-12-2011 12:19 #1330
Trying, YAY Team BLUE!!!!! Good to hear the cramps have settled and I hope your squirmy little boy gives you a better view of all his gorgeous bits on your next scan.
Thank you sooooo much for sharing your experience in detail with me. I know we have touched on this issue in passing a couple of times so I really appreciate you taking the time to revisit it for my benefit. It was not only really informative and gave me a lot to think about (particularly the microscissors vs laser) it also gave me a much needed belly laugh...i.e. open more times than the doors of the Commonwealth bank
I completely agree that it seems unlikely the thin endo has appeared from nowhere and while I am thoroughly sick of being poked and prodded I think the hysteroscopy is the way to go. Argggh more delays! The 1st time I had an issue with the endo was the cycle immediately after my 2nd D&C, and it seems to be continuing. Just curious how long did it take from surgery to transfer? Thanks again hon...for everything!
Last edited by Starf1sh; 18-12-2011 at 12:23.
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