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  1. #1
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    Default Have you let yourself go?

    I am sure that I have....just some background info. When I was younger, and before I had my kids 10 years ago, I was very attractive looking (please allow me to write this without sounding superficial)..

    I could walk into a nightclub and guys would look at me....well things have certainly changed.

    It's not about looks, it's about the way I feel and being confident, which I don't feel now.

    I am probably 10 kilos over what I would like to be, and yes, I have let myself go. In the midst of being a working mother, a wife, looking after everyone else, the old problem of time for me, has come up.

    I did loose weight this time 3 yrs ago..I had had enough and for the next 7 months I did it and I looked and felt fantastic. I remember how happy I was, mentally and physically I was healthy.

    I don't know how to do it again....I don't know where to start. Back then I had access to a gym and I would go 3 times a week, walk, do bike classes in the morning but we have moved and it's half an hour to the gym....

    I look in the mirror and I look tired, I have wrinkles, am I trying to hold onto my youth? Perhaps I am, but I want to look healthy, toned and fit.

    Can you ladies tell me how you have started? I know I have to make some changes and build from there but I just feel overwhelmed.

    I want to drink more water, eat healthier, exercise, stop doing things that are sabbotaging myself..like giving myself a reward at night, a muffin or whatever because I deserve it.

    I've stopped drinking alcohol because it makes me gain weight, and its all around my middle. I look like I have a layer of fat all over my body that doesn't need to be there.

    I could almost cry when I look in the mirror and think what I used to look like. Oh and feel like.

    Thanks for reading...

  2. #2
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    Ok well I could have pretty much written that word for word!

    I have no advice I'm in the same place you are. I cry everyday.

  3. #3
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    I ballooned up to 90kg's at my heaviest.. thank you pnd. (BTW im only 157cms tall).

    Staying at home was my worst enemy. Once I started to work again, I became consious of myself. Drinking water, eating subway instead of mcdonalds. We all had takeaway for the first time in weeks yesterday and we all felt sick.

    I used to have a nice bust that now sags and look like old gym socks. My dp still loves me and the body used to carry ds.

    Look at your kids, isn't it all worth it?? We can't all be Heidi Klum (I wish).

    Go for walks, have that muffin and just be happy. Doing lots of dtd, gardening are all easy calorie burning activities.

    For me, once I was happy and consious of myself and what balance I need, its all falling into place. I may never be 50kg's again, but I feel alot more content and stable.

  4. #4
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    Hi sunshinebub,

    Hmm, do you work at a desk? I found that was the most natural way to get unfit for me.

    I'd like to say that I haven't "let myself go", but I think in my case its more the happy chance that I do not spend the working week at a desk anymore that makes a big difference for me.

    Another way for me recently to gain weight is that we moved back to Australia from a city OS where we didn't need or use a car, so I was a lot more physically active day to day than now; I gained about a kilo a month for the first ten months. Is there any way to build in more walking as part of your transport routine?

    Some other small observations from reading what you wrote :-

    you're only ten kilos over what you prefer? that's not insurmountable.

    I think what you said is dead right, about making a couple of small changes and then building on it, because we can't make dramatic lasting change in one day.

    personally I would start with more water. my dad gave me the expression that water kills hunger and I have read somewhere that sometimes when the we think we need food, we are actually dehydrated, so drink a glass or two of water first, then wait fifteen minutes and see whether you are really still hungry; if you are, then go ahead and eat. and of course water is good for your complexion, health etc.

    get concealer for under your eyes and either mascara or lash tint.

    re. alcohol, is it beer that your normally drink? switch to wine, and drink it with a meal.

    have dessert at the end of dinner.

    the other thing you were dead right about, is that how you carry yourself is important. some days are better than others for me on that front, but as you suggested, feeling physically healthier and more energetic, will only help that.


    anyhow these are the things that work for me. I plan especially to build in more cycling instead of car driving in the coming year. (I am a lapsed cyclist right now because I am pregnant).

    I hope this was not too long a rant (its just that you raise something that everyone thinks about I suppose), and that one or two things up here are helpful.

  5. #5
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    Eco Goddess is offline Loving life under the Bodhi tree!
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    I can completely relate Mine happened before I even started TTC, but has gradually gotten worse. I am by no means overweight (69.6kgs) but feel uncomfortable with my "love handles" and belly particularly. I dropped to 63kgs after having DS (was 79 at 40weeks) but just stacked it back on.

    Good luck - hopefully we can both get ourselves on track!

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    could you purchase an exercise bike or treadmill that you can go on when the children go to bed?

    Anushka - that's sad, do you have any support networks? friends that you can go walking with?

    weight watchers is available online as well

  7. #7
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    Thanks ladies....my kids are worth every push and shove and every stretch mark..

    I don't ever expect to be 54 kilos again, that I was 15 years ago..but I suppose I just want to be fit, healthy and toned, and I thoroughly believe a healthy body equals a healthy mind and outlook - I am proof of that.

    I remember how HAPPY I was when I was fit before..I just want to get that motivation back..

  8. #8
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    I think I understand what you mean.

    I could stand to lose a few kilos, but what I feel down about the most is my attitude towards myself. I don't have any motivation to take care of myself. I'm lucky to eat breakfast most days for example.

    I was looking at baby photos of myself and DD1 from only 2 years ago and I think I look at least 5 years younger. Now I just look frazzled, frumpy and 'mumsy'.

    I want my zest for life back, but I have NO idea how to go about it. Ok, maybe not buying chocolate would be a good start haha.

    BLERGHH. You're not alone!

  9. #9
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    Df and I had this convo the other day. He said he feels sad when he looks at old photos of me, because he feels like its his fault that I don't look like that any more.
    I think my issue is time. I have a toddler and a 15 week old baby. Where do I find the time to wash and blowdry my hair every day? Or do my makeup with precision. Let alone get my hair cut and coloured every few months.
    Once the baby is a bit older, I'll be back on track I think.
    I just need to buy some new clothes, tone up a bit which will take nothing, and get my skin looking good and I'll be my usual, confident self.

  10. #10
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    Oh I hear ya!!

    I've spent the last year half heartedly trying to lose the last 5kgs to get back to the weight I was when I met DH 8 years ago.

    But, I've come to realise that rather than aiming for that, I'd be better off trying to take better care of myself because I feel soooooo much better in myself when I do. I'm a better, more energetic EVERYTHING when I've been eating right, exercising and not drinking alcohol.

    And I saw a photos the other day at this "ideal" weight and I looked at it and realised I was too thin (I wasn't skinny by any stretch of the imagination, just like this version better). At that weight, I didn't have children, ate crap if at all, smoked chimneys and drank far far too much.

    So I think initially you just have to do it but I think once you start to feel good, you'll just keep going.

    Hope that helps.


 

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