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  1. #1
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    Default What do you think is appropriate when a single parent starts a new relationship?

    Hi all the lovely single parents Just after some advice and opinions about what is appropriate when you start seeing someone new. For example, when and how is it appropriate to introduce your child to the new person? How should I explain it to DD (she is 3.5)?

    I have been "seeing" someone for about 3 months now, and he is keen to meet DD, but I'm just not sure how to approach it. I have absolutely no experience in this area as my parents are still together and I have no idea what it might be like from DD's perspective... Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
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    I have been dating since DS was 1.5.
    I never really introduced him to people because at then time they already met him (small town).
    With my new BF, we were friends before we were anything else, so my DS and DD knew him before he started staying over.
    My DS asks where he is all the time now, (he works away) and the BF loves the kids like they were his own.
    DS had so many males in his life, grandads, uncles, friends, that I dont think he's suffered or questioned whats going on. As far as I know he's happy and thinks everyone loves him (as they do).
    My DD will become more attached to my BF because her dad lives in another state, so for all she is aware is that my BF is a constant male in her life, and no doubt will become her "other daddy".
    I think I got lucky with this BF. :-D We all love him and we all get along. Already thinking about the future and if other babies should happen etc.
    I think my DS will at some point ask me if the BF is his dad, and I will tell him if he wants him to be his dad, then thats fine. My BF said he'd be over the moon when DS and DD start calling him dad.
    I just suggest introduce your BF when you feel comfortable and if your DD asks questions then explain to her whats going on. I don't think she would have problems. Just re-instate that you love her, and that your new man will love her too.
    More love for all!!!!!

  3. #3
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    DP met DD on her third birthday.

    I had mentioned him beforehand, and she knew she was going to get to meet him... and tbh, she didn't seem to care too much.

    I explained that he was my boyfriend... blah blah... but I think that at 3, she just didn't really care too much. She was kinda "Meh, okay... can I go play now?"

    I'd start by explaining that you've met a man who you are really good friends with, and who you enjoy spending time with, and mention that he makes you happy. Just mention him occasionally, and then introduce them. That would be my advice.

  4. #4
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    When my parents divorced they had both moved on. My Mum had a boyfriend but she introduced us slowly at first I think they were just friends (at least that's what my sister and I thought) but my Dad it was different, we even heard them having sex (my Dad and xstep mother)

    So yeah, I agree with Sassy, mention him occasionally and then introduce him. Tell your kids he is a good friend you like spending time with etc.

  5. #5
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    DD1 was just 2 when i met DF. We met at his work and used to talk everyday before we actually went out. He knew i had a daughter and had met her cause he also lived across the road from where we were renting.

    DF made a massive effort to spend time with DD, playing with her and letting her dress him up. He never made her feel as though she was in the way especially as i made it clear she was first before him.

    She did have her jealousy moments at first and we did have a few dramas with her real dad carrying on but that all got sorted.

    I also explained that he was mummys playmate . she seemed to think that was ok cause then he became her playmate as well.

    Even now he still fools around with her like hes a child himself


 

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