I actually think that Teley has a point. It's like saying "She's young and Aboriginal". It sets the scene for judgement, even though it's clear that the OP didn't intend it that way. It might be easy for those of us who haven't been subject to 3 - 4 years of harsh judgements because of our age to be flippant about it. Perhaps not so easy for somebody has been subject to it day in, day out. There might have been a better way to handle it, but I understand what it's like having a raw spot rubbed the wrong way by somebody's seemingly innocuous words.
In any case, OP - I perhaps would try to strike up a conversation, too. Perhaps invite her around for a coffee and a chat while the kids play together, and maybe say something along the lines of "Is everything okay? I know we all have bad days, and lord knows 2 & 3 year olds can be challenging! How are you coping with it?" in a really non-judgemental way. You might be the friend she needs to be able to parent her children better.
It sounds like a really tough situation
Another great post, Tam.
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11-10-2010 22:16 #21
11-10-2010 22:16 #22Blessed
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11-10-2010 22:21 #23
She is obviously not coping the way things are & sounds like your gut feeling is guiding you do to do something before it gets out of control.
Listen to your instinct & make a move, wether its mentioning it to her somehow & give her the opportunity to pick up her game or go to the authorities.
11-10-2010 22:21 #24
I would still be worried about the kids if she was older and married.
And no I never screamed at my children when they were 3 ever. I raised my voice certainly but I didnt scream at them til they were about 5 and I really thought they were deliberately trying to upset me lol.
Last edited by Steph83; 11-10-2010 at 22:45.
11-10-2010 22:26 #25
11-10-2010 22:27 #26
For OP I wouldn't report her I would befriend her. It's hard being a parent even harder doing it on your own. She may just need a helping hand or a listening ear. It sounds like she is very stressed and fustrated maybe taking it out on the children a little but sometimes a friend can brighten up your day
I know I've yelled at my DD who's 3 I dont swear ever so I don't swear at her or call her names thats really worrying.
ETA - If you reported her, what would happen would the kids be taken away or would she get help like maybe a parenting course, skills on how to handle situations better etc?
Last edited by Jensha; 11-10-2010 at 22:29.
11-10-2010 22:30 #27
I think it's worth mentioning that DHS aren't the big scary organisation that they're made out to be. Their focus is on keeping families together, not ripping them apart. They have the ability to help parents access parenting classes and counselling and get appropriate medical care for her children, if they're in need of it. It's also worth noting that one stand-alone notification isn't likely to get anything done, especially if they're not in immediate life-threatening danger.
It sounds like she really needs a helping hand out, and DHS might just be the route to that. I'd be inclined to ring and have a chat to them (anonymously if you wish). It might just be the boost she needs.
11-10-2010 22:36 #28
Just wondering what DHS is???
11-10-2010 22:40 #29
Department of human Services,
11-10-2010 22:41 #30
Department of Human Services. Sorry! (Also known as Child Protective Services [CPS] and Department of Community Services [DoCS] depending on where you are ).
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