I hope you dont mind me dropping in but I have nowhere to go to chat and thought that maybe this was the best place.
Guess I am just looking for some reassurance...
Well I am 6 weeks and 2 days today and am just freaking out with worry.
Worried that I am going to miscarry, worried that there is going to an issue at my 12 week scan like last time (which resulted in a D&C) and just plain worried that "something" is going to happen over the next 9 months.
With my first 2 DSs I fell pregnant so easily and never had a worry in the world that I would miscarry or there would be something wrong with the baby. Now I know so easily how issues can occur that its so hard not to dwell on it. I keep looking the Due In Nov thread but dont want to join as everyone seems so happy and with not a worry in the world that I think it would be unfair of me to join in and be pessimistic and fill everyone with bad thoughts when everyone is so happy.
I am doing all the scans and bloods, etc to check for abnormalities and may even opt of an amnio if necessary. Now I am using my OPKs to keep checking that I am UTD.
I was told I could get a scan at 8 weeks but am not going to bother. I had a scan at 7, 8 and 10 weeks and everything was fine. I was so happy to hear the heartbeat at those stages and just thought 'If you hear a heartbeat its all good'. It wasnt until the 12 weeks scan that problems showed.
We arent telling anyone that I am UTD so you guys are the first to know! But I want to tell someone so at least I can share! I vacillate between wanting to tell the world and trying to ignore it and not count the seconds until my 12 week scan.
Its taken over 2 years (I stopped counting at 2 years) of TTCing, one chemical pregnancy and one D&C to get here...and I know that if this one fails for whatever reason then thats it.
I want to be able to enjoy the pregnancy as this will be my last one and all I can do is worry!!
What do I do????
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22-03-2011 17:04 #741
22-03-2011 20:39 #742
I'm pretty sure we ALL get where you're at! It's so wonderful but absolutely terrifying to be pregnant again after losing not only that precious little bub you knew was growing away, but also all of the hopes and dreams that go with being pregnant.
I had DD when I was 37 turning 38 and because of my age we started trying for number 2 when DD was 14 months old. Well after 18 months of heartache and loss, here I am at 40 (41 this year) hoping and praying that this little bub on board will be our desperately loved and longed for sibling for DD...I too feel like if this one goes wrong, it will be my last time (mainly because I don't think I want to keep ttc, watching the months go by, all the while getting older). It was so easy for us the first time and even when we started trying again, I fell first go...but fate can be quite cruel and our roller coaster ride started when DD2 was stillborn at 24 weeks.
I understand you needing to keep it close and not tell anyone. I'm just over 15 weeks and I still haven't told my family or friends. I'm having an amnio next Monday so am waiting until we have some definitive answers about this little babe.
The only real difference for me this time, is I seem to have let go of the fear and my god, that's one hell of a weight off my shoulders! My last pregnancy was ectopic and I lost my left tube and I seemed to just have a realisation that, if I was meant to get pregnant again then I would, and if not, well DD is my little piece of perfection and the absolute joy of our lives.
I really hope you find some way to "stay sane" during these next weeks leading up to your nuchal scan (and maybe amnio). At the very least, we're all here to listen and keep you company!!
23-03-2011 07:04 #743
Michelle, wishing you all the very very best of luck
BIG CONGTATULATIONS HUNNY
I have not yet been pregnant since my 2 early m/c last year, one was 29 days I was one day late and in December I was 5 weeks 5 days when Bubby passed. We are now on Clomid and this is my third round. and I have ovulated brilliantly in the last 2 cycles.
DH sperm came back as Super sperm as all our doctors said so I probably have hostile CM with the Clomid so we are trying to do everything to help that along. I think my fears will be similar to you my sweet.
thinking of you, sending you happy, healthy, sticky bubby vibes for you hun xoxooxoxoxoxo
23-03-2011 09:48 #744
Thanks girls I think he's pretty cute too I had him at Flinders Medical Centre bubba...thats the one where my birthing hospital chose to transfer me too. I highly reccomend their care!!
Well we're back in hospital (grrr) with feeding issues but getting them sorted. (Lack of supply) hopefully out friday and can enjoy him again! In 6 days he'd lost 17% of his birth weight the poor bubba I feel terrible. His sleeps were actually exhaustion not contented sleep. But NOW he is totally different and really settled!
Funky! GOOD LUCK!!! You go girl! catch that eggy!! Fingers crossed for u!!
Hi Michelle! Firstly congratulations, and sorry to hear u find urself here. Hope ur pregnancy goes well this time. All i can suggest is TRY to relax and take each day as it comes. Set urself Small milestones, and keep urself busy. Its totally normal to be worrying that something will go wrong.... I worried the WHOLE way through my pregnancy but now have a lil bubba boy 8 days old! Hope to hear of good news about ur birth in november! Fingers crossed u have a healthy sticky bubba in there.
Hope all u mummys to be are travelling well and ur bubs are growing stronger each and every day. Cant wait to hear about ur little bundles of joy and their arrivals. Good luck girlies. It feels like forever but it actually IS quite quick when u look back over it all!
Um to all the other mummys that are hanging around - where do i go next? Graduation time for me!! YAY!!
23-03-2011 11:05 #745Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
Shadow congrats on your beautiful baby boy. The early days with feeding can be so hard but hopefully he will start to gain weight.
Funky I hope you get your BFP this month. Hopefully it will be third time lucky for you!
Michelle_N I completely understand how you feel I have recently got my BFP and am also due in November and absoloutely terrified of another mc. I haven't posted much in the due in Nov thread as I don't want to be a downer to the other girls in the thread or make them stress like I am. We won't tell family or friends for quite some time and will most likely have either a cvs or amnio as our DD born at 16 weeks had abnormalities. So like yourself I am terrified of mc and also of having another baby that is not compatible with life. How you are feeling I think is pretty normal (well it is for me anyway) If you want to chat just send pm me as I am due on the 19th so we must be at about the same stage in our pregnancies.
23-03-2011 11:47 #746
Shadow big to you my sweet!! did anyone prepare you that after a C section it can take 2 weeks for your milk to come down. No one told me either times with both my bubs and I actually only read it a few weeks ago. I felt like such a failure with Dan. I had my epidural hit my spine so a huge headache for 6 weeks, had to move in with mum and dad and coz I couldnt move I missed all the firsts, his first bath, first nappy, first to see him grr im still so damn angry!!
You are doing the very best you can and I am so so so so proud of you my sweet!! I am glad they are helping you with it, I fell through the cracks and no one came and saw me so after I left hospital I had to go to formula. If I fall again I will persevere!!!
and he is just to perfect!! xoxoox
Rosily keeping you and bubs in my thoughts and prayers hunny I hope to be not far behind you and get my chrissy bubby xoxoxoox
mwahssssssssssssss everyone else I hope you are all doing ok!!! xoxoxoox
23-03-2011 17:44 #747
Thanks everyone for your words....they all completely mirror my own that its scary! But I guess we have or are all the the same boat experiencing the same things that in a way its comforting to know that I am not being an oversensitive emotional worrier...that what I am feeling is normal.
So I will "try" to relax and remain calm and not stress out too much...but you might find me on here again looking for some more support!
Good luck AJGirl for your amnio. I hope everything goes well for you and you find that extra peace to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy...and then you can finally tell everyone that you are pregnant! I am so looking forward to that time when I can say the words out loud and be confident that everything is ok.
And Shadow....what a beautiful baby! I certainly gives me hope that I can do this. But as for the baby losing weight I wouldnt stress too hard. So many babies do at this early stage, particulalry if your milk hasnt come in. DS2 had the same issue and they freaked me out shunting me to drs but lo and behold he chunked up and is fine. I am sure everything will turn out perfectly for you! I guess there is always something to worry about isnt there?
And thanks Funky Mummy...I cant get over how positive you are!! Just amazing! I am going to tuck away a little bit of that positivity and try to be grateful for what I have...and and emphasis on the "try"
Rosily - I am due on the 13 Nov so it looks like we are are going to be 'Due in Nov' mates! We are in such similar situations....my doc said I had like a less then 1% chance of having issues again but I dont think I will be confident until I have had all my tests. I guess in this age we are lucky to be able to have the technology to pick up problems....how sometimes I do wonder if ignorance is bliss as because we know so much we have so much more to worry about. But good luck for the rest of the pregnancy....I am sure I will PM you if things get too stressy. Thank you for the offer!
Thanks again Ladies and I greatly appreciate your support!
28-03-2011 06:40 #748Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
Congrats Michelle and rosily!! Sending you sticky vibes!
Funky, how are you going this month?
AJ - good luck with your amnio today, I will be thinking if you. I am sure it will be good news and then you can finally tell everyone!
Hugs to everyone else x
29-03-2011 15:00 #749
hey shadow i think we go over to the babies after pregnnacy loss or summat- there's a sticky thread at the top in this part of the forum.
hope everyone is well and we have a few in the 3rd trimester!! who is next? trish- where are you at?
AJ how did your scan go?
anyone else have anything to report?
afm- fairly busy here as you can imagine- getting nicely into a rhythym with 2- so far i have foudn that being organised works- the only issue is a real lack of time in my day to do much else then atend to 2 children. Anyway A is still getting up a lot at night- so at 7 weeks he is feeding at 9pm, 1am, 4am. He's really quite a long boy at over 60cms now. He appears to grow bigger every day. He spent a while at the beach yesterday while his sister played with her best friend for hours. that was good to get out in the sun for an extended period. fresh sea air etc.
anyway hope everyone reading are well.
29-03-2011 16:05 #750
Aww sniper i gots chills I can't believe he is already 7 weeks that is so so awesome!!! and a big bubba. I am so overwhelmingly happy for you!!!
How is everyone else doing????
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