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  1. #1
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    Default Having kids in two 'lots' due to re-partnering..

    I would just love some advice/experience on the dynamics of working a family where you have kids born in two seperate 'lots'. My two boys are from my first marriage and will be 8 and 6 when this bubby is born (in 6 weeks eep!!) We will also be having a 4th bub probably another 2 years later...so essentially it will be a 2 year gap, a 6 year gap, a 2 year gap. How has everyone else handled having older school-aged kids, and newborns at the same time? Do all the school drop-offs and after school activites run smoothly? Do you find that you are constantly having to separate the two lots of children when playing as they older kids have a lot of 'little' toys like lego, marbles and things that they won't want the babies wrecking/swallowing? And for those of you who have children from another marriage...how do you find the little ones deal with the older ones leaving for holidays etc, do they get upset or want to go with them?

    Thought I would also ask - how did you find going back to nappies and night waking after so long??

    Any advice would be helpful! Thanks x
    Last edited by Tieko; 23-09-2010 at 19:33.

  2. #2
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    I have a 6 year old and 1 year and am 22 weeks pregnant with #3.
    DS1 (6) only sees his bio dad maybe once or twice a year so we don't really have much seperation going on.
    I have found the age gap really trying at times as 6 and 1 can be an enormous gap.
    The toys/activities/routines etc are very different and fitting in the school runs can be hard.
    DS1 gets very frustrated with DS2 as he loves to wreck everything! I have to be really careful of toys and hazards as well. (Lego etc)
    But DS2 adores DS1,...it's very sweet.
    Although DS1 is very independent and responsible he sometimes forgets that DS2 is a "baby" and treats him as he would another 6 year old!
    I am due in Jan with #3 so poor old DS1 will have another baby to fight off.

    I also have a 13 year old SS and that is a very hard age gap/situation, it has gotten to the point that I can't have all 3 kids here without DH as SS and DS1 clash so much...

    Anyway! Your two older boys are very lucky to have each other ( my BF is in the exact situation as you) and it works really well as the older two form a much stronger bond/friendship while mum deals with the baby.

    We have a zoned off area for DS1 and his art/craft/activities and I just have to time sleeping to accomodate school runs.
    They bath together but usually eat at different times
    Ummmm...Good Luck!
    x

  3. #3
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    I'm interested in this too. I don't have a different partner, DH is bio dad to all kids, but we'll have a month shy of a 10 year gap between the youngest now and this bub - the other two are only 21 months apart so it'll be sooooo different!!

  4. #4
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    I have a 14yr old son and now a 7month old son, I think the age difference is great. My 14yr old is fantastic with his little brother, they both just adore each other so much.
    I am sure there may be a few cranky moments from my 14yr old when bub starts to crawl and walk and get into his things but that will be up to 14yr old to have his door shut or have things put up so they cant get broken (or food shoved in them lol)
    As for drop off and pick up from school, you just have to do what you have to do, mu bub was not really in any routine I just went with the flow. I have to leave pretty early to pick DS up from school as parking is a nightmare, so I did find sometime when bub was very new I had to sit in the back and feed him while waiting for DS.
    You soon get yourself into a routine and it all becomes much easier.
    My 14yr old does not see his dad anymore so no problems about leaving for holidays.

  5. #5
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    I had my 2nd bub with a new partner when my eldest was 6. I loved the age gap as it meant that each child got plenty of attention being at different stages and I could explain thing to the eldest and she aws a great helper.

    my 2nd bub was such a cruisey easy baby that she justslotted intot the routine of school runs and dance. I also I guess am lucky to have grandparents around taht will now help out with after school curriculum activity runs.

    Sometimes if the eldest goes to her grandies it gets confusing for the younger ones why they are not their grandies and I think that is unfair because the younger ones grandies include my eldest and we are just all family. I am hoping that the eldest ones family will come around to seeing how we do that, but otherwise they don't have as much to do with us anyway.

    I had waited so long ( it felt) to have my 2nd she was just such a joy and I loved having a baby again


 

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