Look at the end of the day, you can't force feed him. It really is as simple as that. If he doesn't eat, then he doesn't eat.
Its probably just a stage that he is going through, my 3.5yr old is doing the same thing.
I just make sure i implement some of the foods into his diet, like if he wants yogurt, well thats his dairy intake, if he feels like eating strawberries all day, well thats his fruit intake.
Have you tried making up a platter for him? Im going to try this with my DS, put all the fruits and healthy options onto a platter and sit it in the lounge room so he can go to and from it.
With my thinking, my son is only 3.5yrs, he is stubborn and he does not want to budge, he has PLENTY of time to learn to eat things and how much and the consequences.
TBH i would be focusing on getting him to eat, whatever he likes (of course healthy options) let him eat it.
You just can't make him eat, its stressful for you and its stressful for him. And eventually he will rebel something chronic and when dinner time is coming up he already has it in his head he must refuse food because he knows its going to be stressful.
Maybe just relax a little, be calm, let him eat what he wants, whether thats strawberries for dinner or whatever, but it will be a lot less stressful for the both of you if you just relax.
Well thats my take on it. I went through the same thing with my oldest, i used to force him to eat his dinner really bad, eventually we both dreaded meal times and he would never eat. As soon as i relaxed, and let him lead it became a lot more easier and he was more prepared to try new things.
He is 7 now and its a FANTASTIC eater with a grea appeitite and loves trying new things.
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20-09-2010 16:24 #91
20-09-2010 16:31 #92Feel my wrath!
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Where the wild things are
This is an interesting thread. I havent made it the whole way through though.
We struggle to get my DS to eat. I think it is because DH and I share the parenting now, and there is no consistency. DH thinks its better that he eats something, so if he wont eat his cereal before daycare, he will offer him a biscuit. But how will he learn that he needs to eat the cereal, if he can just have a biscuit instead? I am more of the approach if he won't eat what is on offer for breaky, then he can share mine, and I will get more after, or I will offer him a banana in the car on the way to daycare. If he doesnt eat it, daycare will offer morning tea in a couple of hours anyway.
So yeah, hes a pretty bad eater. At night and lunches when i am home, I will offer a main meal, and regardless of whether he eats it or not, he will get offered some yoghurt or fruit or both.
I do worry that he doesnt eat his veges, and i do really encourage him to eat them, and if he even tastes them he is praised, but I will not tell him off if he doesnt eat them - only if he throws them on the floor. I just feel that fighting him to eat them will do no benefit, and obviously he is not at the age that I can negotiate with him
It does bother me that he wastes food, but we dont offer him a huge amount, and then if he doesnt eat what is in his bowl, then we just give it to the dog, or hubby will eat it.
In the case of the spag bog, i would say to him something like 'its really great that you eat your three mouthfuls, but you know, if you eat 3 more you can have some strawberries or a biscuit' but yeah, i am not even sure if that would work because I have never been there!
20-09-2010 16:45 #93
i dont mind serving up fruit platters for dinner with some cheese and some deli meat for dinner but than i also have to deal with others not thinking thats a good enough dinner for him either. he eats quite alot of cheese and drinks an ok amount of milk but thats really it. he is up and down on fruit and veges, well i am going to be mixing them in with his potato from now on just so i know he has at least a bit of veges.
i have tried the platter once before but dont think i did it long enough. i guess if i did the platter as i think it would be the thing that could work best for us, i could always cook up meat, have some vege and we just pick as we go.
will try that when we get home from holidays as its too hard to do that at parents place.
20-09-2010 17:13 #94-
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Hey Bec would it help if you got Coop to help you make dinner?
Like homemade mini pizzas? Stuffed spuds? Stir fry? Even getting him involved in preparing the food...we give Lucas a butter knife and he chops things up, I always find he is more inclined to eat it if he has had a part of making it.
We are having cannelloni for dinner and I KNOW DS will refuse to eat much of it .
20-09-2010 17:25 #95GONE !
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
- Here !
I would be cutting out his milk intake because he will possibly be using this to fill up on as needed & this in turn can create 'bad habits'. It's an easy way to get full & he likes it so yanno he can refuse all he wants but there is always milk iykwim.
I have G who will actually starve himself because he doesn't feel hunger the same way as the most of us due to GORD, makes life very hard !!!
This has seen me become 'mean mummy' in the last few weeks because I am trying to get him to eat !!!
Our problem tends to be also that he wants to take the easy option so he doesn't have to eat a meal, so the likes of his specialised formula or biscuits & he is done. He doesn't have to eat. And I struggled because he has had so many weight dramas & being down on the low end of the charts meant I always feared if I didn't allow him to do what he wanted so to speak things would go backwards.
While he isn't eating full meals he is eating a lot more at times than ever before.
it was to the point where he would scream at me " NO NO No dinnerrrrrrrr !!! YOU GET ME sumfing from pantweee " as he just wanted biscuits. all. the . damned. time.
So now there are two options at brekky either one cereal or the other ( unless I make eggs ) then if that is mostly eaten they are allowed some toast or sometimes we make pancakes.
They have morning tea of fruit.
For lunch they are allowed to choose their sandwich/ wrap toppings & while I have shuddered at choices ( jam & cheese for Boof ) I allow that little bit more freedom so they experiment. Again as long as the majority is eaten then they are allowed some vegie chips or some carrots & cucumbers depending on what is all being had that day iykwim.
Afternoon tea is usually a treat of say muffins or a cup of strawberries/ bluberries again all depending on what the day is like depends on what afternoon tea is iykwim !
Dinner then is obviously ranging in variation but I find the more they are involved the more willing to try. Mine will stand & eat the broccoli & cauliflower raw before I steam or boil it so I then know come the time the meal is served even if they only then take a bite of each I am happy because they had some before iykwim. Sometimes they help choose what meal we are having otherwise I choose & they are told to eat what they want, if they don't want it then it's p.j's & bed. Funny how they will then take a number of mouthfuls or in many cases finish the meal
As long as they have at least tried to eat a good amount & not stuffed around they are then allowed their banana & yoghurt or jelly.
I don't force anything upon them but I also refuse to budge giving in to them demanding food after denying what was given. If I did G would live on Tiny Teddies ... No really he would
20-09-2010 18:05 #96
i used to be pretty free with what he ate as i was always happy he was eating but now its just at a point he should be eating what is served up regardless of what it is as i always do meals he will eat, not purposely cooking up foods he wont eat.
desert is always on offer but desert can range from ice cream to yoghurt or fruit. its nothing set in stone.
20-09-2010 18:11 #97Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2010
Perhaps a sticker chart might work , some positive reinforcement.
A sticker for each day he eats his dinner and if he gets a certain amount of stickers he gets something special or gets to go somewhere nice.
Just a thought.
20-09-2010 18:28 #98
20-09-2010 18:46 #99-
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Ahh its so frustrating isn't it.
Honestly though, he will grow out of this phase ans he wont starve himself (its what I keep telling myself ). I mean, what teenage boy says no to food...none that I know! I am preparing for the hundreds upon hundreds of dollars I will be required to spend on groceries with these boys in years to come lol.
20-09-2010 18:51 #100
I'm with you bec. I don't think you should have to run a Mummy resturant. I agree it comes to a time, that if you are offering something you know they have eaten in the past or something they has requested then that's it until next meal as far as I'm concerned. I do similar. Basically if he carrys on and refuses or justpicks then I put it in the fridge and if he asks for anything before next meal time then I say...XYZ is in the fridge. Sometimes after an hour or so, I may offer fruit or yoghurt (espescially if he hasn't eaten much all day though mostly if I've cooked something he hasnt had before or I know he's dodgy on).
I try no to be too emotional about it or get into arguements. I figure if they are hungry then they will eat it. I don't think you should keep offering the same food repeatedly until they eat it all. But certianly agree if for eg cheese sandwhiches is lunch, then cheese sandwhiches is what gets offered for whinging up until afternoon tea time (or he eats a decent amount, like 1/2) And at afternoon tea time then I would probably still serve them back up with the fruit or whatever for afternoon tea. But not comment if they weren't eaten and then toss them.
I try not to comment about amounts while we are eating either, nor bribe. I talk about the food and what it does as I'm eating it.. "Mummies eating carrots, they can help you see in the dark like Superman" blah blah blah.. And using things like a plastic knife and showing how to push his potatoe on the folk (this worked a treat tonight ) and also some little platic tongs that I saved from a pasta Happy Meal that I myself tried years ago. He gets carried away with the novelty of the tongs and gets a few bite in.
Of course I'm ony human and sometimes I give in and do something different. Or I serve up raw vegies, fruit and cheese with yoghurt dip (something I know he will eat) for tea just to avoid the stress of him carrying on "thats yukky" or judt "no no no".
But generally I stick to my guns. I keep telling myself if he was growing up on a farm in Vietnam or Chinasome similar place, he would HAVE to eat what was cooked or he would literally starve.
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