Anyone else have a MIL that is a total dissapointment?

[GypsyFortuneTeller]

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[Ra Ra Superstar]

yeh my ex MIL is a bit like this. I'm not too sure if it's because i broke up with her son. We were getting along after the breakup and she declared that she would be there for us but lately ive just become so sick and tired of her not making an effort with DS that i want to cut her out completely.

Dont let it get you down. Really when it comes to it it's her loss

[Entropy]

Not a MIL, but my father. In the 3 years since DD1's birth, I think we've only seen him 10 times? He lives about an hour away, and while he does work long hours and away from home quite often... he still has time to go on holidays with his latest sh@g and take her kids places.

It's hard, and it hurts. But... he's never been interested in me either, so I try not to take it personally....

[brogeybear]

Yep! *raises hand*

She lives 3 hours away but spends four days every fortnight at her mothers home 20 mins away. She is lucky to see DS twice a year at events and I am more than happy for it to stay that way. She is not a nice person so it is easier for us to not have to deal with regular interaction with her. It annoys me though how she spins it as if she needs a gold leaf invitation to come or something and that I dont make her feel welcome.

Hello the onus is on you as a parent firstly to speak to your son, and then if you are interested in having a relationship with your grandson we can go from there, fact is that you can't be stuffed so dont expect us to drive 3 hours out to visit you when you are in our area all the time.

[puddlejumper]

It could always be worse..

Im sorry she seems to have no interest despite you wanting it.
Why doesnt your partner take bub over to visit his mother.

[jennababe]

my mil has an interest in the pub and thats about it

cant have the kids ever on a saturday night, cos thats her night!! just like wed thurs fri and sundays!!

if im lucky she will have DS2 while DS1 is at kindy on a tues arvo maybe once every 3 weeks.

asked her to have them for the night a few weeks ago as i was a breaking point, "i suppose" she said.

but yeah she'll ring and wanna know every detail about our lives, and still try to tell DF what to do. but doesnt really have much interest in seeing them very often. and she doesnt work at all.

yet she can b itch about them going to childcare 2 days a week. hmmm

[Mischief]

My MIL shows very little interest in the boys. Its a bit sad, and I know it hurt my husband and I quite a bit when they were younger, but as time has gone on we have learned to be greatful when she does show an interest, and not concerned if she doesnt.

Sorry you are going through it honey. *hugs*

[melandstan]

The whole INLAW family is like this with my DD.
Has been since she was born 3.5 yrs ago.
I was quite close (well, thought i was) to SIL, as soon as bub arrived - she basically ignored me! (altho, now knowing what i know, she has some major issues - and altho it hurt at the time, i wasn't able to deal with her)
Got close to BIL and his lovely family - but we only saw them when WE went over there. now we've moved, don't hear from them EVER.
MIL - travelling around aust. only hear from her when she needs our help - never offers to help with $$'s even tho we're doing it for her, and she is with an alcolic loser.
So - my DD basically doesn't know any of them, and doubt that she ever will. If we don't make the effort - it is like we don't matter.
Breaks my heart at times, makes me very angry more - but generally, i try and not let it worry me.

[flyawayfree]

DS father and I are now separated, but for the first 16 months of his life we were together. In that time he saw his dads mum twice and that was because I drove out there.
He is now four and has seen her once since we separated. Even when I invite her to birhdays etc she doesn't come.

[smog]

not my mil its my mum but she lives 2 mins away not 20 and she doesnt work /study at all. she spends no time at all with the kids. they are 13, 7 and 2 and she has never been to a dance concert or a footy game or an awards ceremony at school or anything at all. never visits them. never rings for their bdays or gets them a present. never minds them, rarely vivsts for xmas and if she does she stays 10 mins max. and yep it infuriates me. my kids deserve better. i spent years visitting her making the effort trying to get some involvement for my kids. now i dont just dont bother at all anymore.