Noah was 2 in november, so he will be pretty much 2.5 when bub comes, it will be interesting. He loves babies, but can get a little rough with them (ie choking instead of hugging) and he is definitely a mumma's boy, I'm not really sure what to expect though to be honest. I think at least he can understand me a bit and will be able to help, which he will love! How about you, how old will Bonnie be?
I'll come to the next meetup definitely! You might need to remind me though as I'm pretty hopeless Tuesday is perfect for me too and I actually have my appointment at monash the next day so it might be good to help me prepare for that onslaught haha
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26-02-2011 15:10 #541
26-02-2011 15:40 #542
Ohh unlucky, what's the appointment for?
Bonnie will be 2 on Anzac day (25/4) so 26 months I have a feeling I'll go over.. Bonnie was 15 days overdue so it'll work our great
Yep no worries I'll email you when it's getting closer, probably won't have Bonnie with me though which is kind of good because she is Feral!
Have you started putting things together yet? I haven't but DP's going to get a huge storage tub so I can start putting things away. I'm still trying to find an aromatherapy oil I like as the smell of amniotic fluid made me feel sick last time!
28-02-2011 09:11 #543
So lovely to have such a supportive and postive environment to turn to!!
spicemum - thanks for the info about calmbirth! My midwife is going to lend me the pink kit at some stage, she said it would be especially good for me given my history of pelvic fracture - I'm curious to see what it is all about!
Scarymary - thanks for the recommendation of Birthing from Within - I think I have heard that mentioned a couple of times so I'll have to seek it out. Have been reading a book called "The Waterbirth Book" that my midwife lent me, which I found really good. Yeah, I know I'm getting into all the preparation super early... but I'm the kind of person who needs to know *every* single possible bit of information about things, haha! Also, I was kind of terrified of birth at first, so I felt that the more I educated myself on what it would actually be like, the better and less "unknown" it would feel. Seems to be working, the more I read and watch, the more I am just looking forward to it and feel excited and at peace with it :-)
Great to see so many people enjoying Helen and Karen's care!! I would definitely love to make it along to the next coffee morning... not sure where I'll be at in terms of work by that point (the life of a temp!) but I think I will definitely try and make it along.
I had an email fight with my mum last night (she lives in NZ) and I'm really frustrated!!! She was going on and on at me about my pelvis and how I don't know what will happen and it's my first baby and wouldn't I be better in hospital BLAH BLAH BLAH, and then in the same breath telling me how annoying it was when her mum was all stressed about her being in pain and didn't let her have the birth she wanted!! Hello!! ARGH I was just so frustrated and annoyed, so I told her that this was MY birth and I was doing what felt right to me and I needed the people around me to be supportive of that, and then she got all passive aggressive defensive, like "oh, what a slap in the face, so sorry to have interfered, I certainly won't be doing that again". Geez, I felt like saying - well frickin DON'T then!!!
My partner is scared of homebirth and would prefer I went to hospital but is trusting me to make the right choice for me and supporting me in it.
I just feel like no one gets it, you know?? Why does no one understand why this feels so right to me?? I am so excited about it and there is no way I could imaging doing it differently... I just feeling like I'm fighting against everyone for it!!
I am also worried because I know my mum has to be at the birth because she would be mortally offended forever if she wasn't, but I am the kind of person who HATES people fussing over me and mum is the quintessential fusser!! I'm scared she will drive me nuts and make me angry, which kind of defeats the purpose of the whole calm home environment thing!! Part of me really just wants it to be an intimate thing for me and my partner...
Argh, anyway, sorry for the vent!! It's just nice to know I'm not totally crazy and there are people out there who understand why I want this!!
28-02-2011 13:45 #544
My VBAC at home
As for going from 1 to 2 children, I did find it difficult. My son was only 18mo though, so he was still a baby himself. The first 6 months of my daughters life I completely lost the relationship that I had with my son. I did have PND though, and didn't really get enough help for it (ahh the benefit of hindsight). We are all good now though - my son and daughter both get along like a house on fire and they're both getting excited about their new sibling joining the family!
Firstly - your husband. What about having a homebirth is scaring him? If you can get a copy of 'Business of Being Born' try to do that - I think there are places to view it for free online too. That movie alone was the thing that turned the tables for my husband and I know that it has enlightened many-a-partner. Perhaps that would be a good place to begin for him?
And as for your Mum - well it sounds like she is just being loving and annoying lol. Challenge her to find any information about homebirth being riskier than hospital birth. When she cant/wont look for information to educate herself, then you can say that your not going to argue when she doesn't want to do any research for herself. My Mum was far too lazy to do any research, so she ended up just going with my word lol.
Your doing an absolutely amazing thing for both yourself and your baby. What a lucky baby your child will be to have such a loving Mummy from the word go xx
28-02-2011 13:47 #545
Oh and CTS - Does your Mum HAVE to be at the birth? Will she be staying with you?
Could it happen 'too quickly' and you didn't have enough time to call her over??
28-02-2011 16:09 #546
Aw bless you MilkOnTap, thank you so much for your supportive words!!
My partner is terrified that I will die in childbirth. I think all men are a little scared of birth (women's stuff, you know :-P) but his mum died when he was 17 and he doesn't really have any other family and it's hard for him to open his heart as much as he has to me...so I think it leaves him feeling very vulnerable. For all that, he really is being very supportive of what I want and need, even if he's unsure of it, which is really good and I'm lucky he is so open minded about it. I may look into that "Business of Being Born" thing though, thanks for the tip!! I'm hoping that meeting my midwife will be reassuring to him as well, as she is very knowledgable.
The thing is, I'm so convinced that once it actually happens, both my partner and my mum (if she is there) will see how "right" it is and their doubts will be washed away... it's just hard in the meantime I guess!
Good to know you managed to stick at your guns and got the homebirth you wanted!! I'm sure you were glad you did!?!
As for my mum - she is currently doing post grad university study, so she's certainly capable of research! :-P I actually sent her all the studies I could find on vaginal birth after pelvic fracture and she did say she was reassured by them. But her main thing is that my pelvic history makes it all so "unknown" that I should be in hospital... an argument that just doesn't wash with me because a) all first time birth is unknown! and b) early labour should be done at home anyway, and I'm sure we would be getting an inkling by then if there were any doubt and of course would always err on the side of caution... so what is the difference?? If you know what I mean.
And she is coming to stay with us from New Zealand, so she will definitely be in the house!! I may just have to make peace with it :-/
28-02-2011 17:58 #547
Just a short post from me as I'm on my phone..
CTS I really advise against having people present who are not comfortable with your plans, especially your mother I have BTDT and it didn't end very well for us, even though I had a perfectly normal birth she still won't talk about it. I'll try to post a link to my story but it is in the homebirth story thread if you want to read it before then.
Afm- 20 weeks today
01-03-2011 15:46 #548
Thanks so much for that voice of experience, Thermolicious. I looked up your birth story... you don't say a lot about it (understandably!) but I found it interesting how you described it as your mother being "in your birth space"... that is pretty much exactly what I'm worried about - more in an emotional sense than a physical one. My mother gets extremely easily offended, and I am worried that in the throes of labour, I will snap and tell her to bugger off, and she will be offended forever. This argument has also made me realise that I have a lot of unresolved feeling of anger towards my mother (which in turn makes me feel worried about my ability to be a good mother myself) and I would hate for that to interfere with my ability to release into and open up to labour... also, what if I did upset her and then I'd be all worried about having upset her and that would probably stall the labour!!
Anyway, there's a little while to go yet, and she's not even talking to me yet anyway! Sigh. I asked my partner to read the initial email I sent to see if I had actually been offensive, and he didn't think there was anything wrong or offensive in what I've written at all, so at least I know this isn't entirely my fault! My mum has always had low self esteem so I think now she's on a "you don't need me" trip.... SIGH! I'm not sure there's much I can do to make it better right now...
In other news - congrats on being halfway!!! So exciting!! I'm still pinching myself to be 17 weeks already and dying to start feeling some movements so it feels more real!!
01-03-2011 18:47 #549
I really want to avoid it at all costs. Our parents know only because they asked "you're not going to try to home birth again are you?" mist people don't understand our reasons and will listen to a doctor over and above factual evidence any day so I just really don't want to waste my energy getting into it. DH on the other hand wants to make up fact sheets to hand out to all the people that question us, I'm not fussed as long as the stress of it all stays away from me.
01-03-2011 19:27 #550
If I am still living in this house then I wont be telling my neighbours. Last time my neighbours all knew, but I knew them a lot better than these new ones.
My family all figure that cause I had a HBAC before then thats what I would do this time - makes sense. The usual question is, "so its another homebirth, hey?" - my response? "Yup!"
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