Let me tell you, it's not easy trying to be positive when everyone around you is getting pregnant left, right and centre. My younger is sister just had her 3rd bub in January and i'm still childless. DH's cousin's wife just announced on FB last week that she is expecting bub #3. DH's SIL fell pregnant 2 months after they got married! So seeing all these BFP's, babies and baby announcements hurts me like crazy and I do admit that sometimes I think that I will never have one of my own and have given up hope many a time. But now I stopped feeling sorry for myself, started eating healthier and excercising and now on thursday, DH and I have our first consult with a FS on thursday! It's definitely been a long time waiting, but it has obviously paid off. So whatever you do don't give up hope because if and when you do, nothing is going to happen. Believe me, i'm speaking from experience. So i'm sending you a truck load of and .
Sorry that you find yourself on here. It doesn't matter how many you've had, it never gets any easier. And Jazz is right. We are a very supportive bunch, so whatever concerns you have we'll be here for you.
I've been MIA too. Hurts to much to come on here or any other thread mainly because I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere since my diagnosis in 10'. Was very difficult coming to terms with it, but it's slowly sunk in and I try to deal with it the best that I can. And like you, didn't really feel like talking to my family and friends about it and all I did was cry. Definitely wasn't an easy thing to get over.
I will have everything crossed for you, Hun. Hope that something fantastic happens real soon.
Boo for AF showing up. You said that you've had fertility tests done, have you had a HyCoSy? I was in the exact same boat as you and the Dr's were wondering why I wasn't UTD even after I did 3 months of ovulation tracking. So my Dr sent me for this HyCoSy and that was when my world came crashing down. They found that both of my tubes were blocked. IVF is now our only option and we'll be seeing the FS on thursday. So if you haven't, it is probably worth going to have. For your piece of mind.
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17-06-2012 15:57 #571
17-06-2012 16:08 #572
Hi Hopefulmumtobe! So thoughtful of you to respond to post btw
We had an assessment cycle 2 months ago, they took lots of bloods, found out when I ovulate etc, and I had a pelvic ultrasound day 12, the lady checked everything and said it looked great. I have a very predictable cycle - 28 days, spotting for 1-2 days beforehand which is always a signal my period is coming, ewcm on days 12-14 etc. I haven't heard of the HyCoSy test, but I might ring my FS and mention it. The dr said that we have just been unlucky to have 3 miscarriages in a row since july last year and that since we already had a DD 2 years ago, that we should be able to fall pregnant naturally again in the future and wouldn't recommend IVF at this stage. I decided this weekend that I want to do another assessment this month. So I'm going to ask about that test. Thanks heaps for your support.
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17-06-2012 16:52 #573
Acemum - i'm sorry about your miscarriage. I would take the 23rd jan as day 1 of your cycle.
19-06-2012 08:25 #574
Hi Lovable. You're very welcome.
Definitely get the referal to have the HyCoSy done. I know it's not the most comfortable procedure to have done, but once you get your results no matter what the outcome, you can move forward, make a decision and go from there. My DH was fuming that my OBGYN didn't request one even though we had been TTC again for 18 months after the MC or test the baby for a reason why I had lost it. Just told us that it was a genetic abnormality. Sometimes a MC isn't always that.
I do hope that you have a much better outcome and that everything is all fine. Because I know how daunting it can be not knowing/having answers. Please let me know how things are going and if or when you're going to have your HyCoSy.
AFM: DH and I have our FS appointment thursday afternoon. He's really excited which is so great to see, but me on the other hand have mixed emotions. Don't get me wrong, I am excited about the whole appointment, it's just the thought of going through all the testing, jabbing, US, egg retreival and then having another MC that is really bothering me. I know the chances of me having another one through IVF decreases because they always use the stronger, most viable emby, but I just can't help thinking it. I guess with my track record you can't help but think it, right? Must think positive thoughts from now on, so I hope that the pre IVF vacation DH and I go on this school hols will help us both destress and think about the wonderful future that lay ahead.
Anyway, enough rambling. Sending lots of and to you all. Take care. MWAH!!!
22-06-2012 10:21 #575
I used to be a part of this thread a long time ago, my beautiful girl is 19 mo tmrw. Just wanted to send you all some good vibes and sticky dust and tell you I'm cheering you all on and hoping for BFPs for everyone!
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27-06-2012 12:04 #576
Hi ladies, im a newbie here to the site but after reading some of these posts im glad im here, I thought I could cope on my own... I have been putting off kids for a long time now trying to get my life in a place where I think its the right time, also out of fear after being told I may never had kids due to PCOS. I finished a four year double degree at uni and decided it was time to try so had the implanon removed and fell pregnant straight away along with my sister and countless other friends and family members. I was so excited, my diet was better than ever with cravings for fresh fruits and veggies, I was taking folate tablets and omega 3, picking out names and planning a future...then I started spotting. My partner and I went to the hospital, they took my HCG levels but couldnt find a heartbeat and told us it was too early and to come back tomorrow, then next week. The following week there was still no heartbeat and more spotting, come back next week. Next appt still showed no hearbeat so they recommended a D&C a few days later. I went in being told it was a routine 15 minute procedure only to come out of it with a perforated uterus, a stitch in my bowel and a massive scar from my bits to my bellybutton which is a constant reminder every day that I dont have my baby. My sisters babyshower was on the weekend and all my friends are posting photos of their ever expanding bellies ooooing and ahhing over each other and I feel like im stuck out in the cold. Im still waiting for the OBGYN to tell me we can try again due to issues with my cycle, which seems to have settled down now so fingers crossed! I am hoping with all my might that this experience never happens to me again and I am so heartbroken for all of you that have had this happen more than once, I barely got through this time, and it scares me to think it could happen again. I feel like im turning into such a horrible person, I cant stand seeing others with baby bumps, and dont even want to feel my own niece/nephew kicking. Organising the baby shower was just heartbreaking!
28-06-2012 10:33 #577
Welcome and massive . I am so sorry about your traumatic ordeal. Having a miscarriage is extreamly hard as is it without having to go through what you did. I hope that you are healing very well and can get the green light to start TTC again straight away.
And I completely understand how you feel about not wanting to see baby bumps, babies and try and organise your sisters baby shower. I was in the exact same boat as you. My sister is 4 years younger than me, has been married since 2004 and now has 3 beautiful children. My niece will be 6 in Spetember, my nephew just turned 4 last saturday and my other nephew has just turned 6 months last weekend. Whereas me, been married for nearly 15 years this October together for 18 and the only thing we have to show for it is 3 babies. So all throughout organising my sister's baby shower, I kept thinking to myself, it should be her organising MY baby shower. It was heartbreaking watching family and friends oooo and ahhhh over her and wanting to touch/feel baby kick, but I absolutely love my niece and nephews and am so glad that they are here. I wouldn't change it for the world.
On the other hand, DH's SIL got UTD 3 months after they got married (they met on a on-line dating service and had only known each other 6 months before they got engaged!) and had a baby boy October 2010, and TBH, I don't want anything to do with this nephew. I don't like the SIL and wanted to punch her face in when she actually emailed me her US! Who does that? If that's not rubbing it in your face I don't know what is. So now I just have to pretend that everything is hunky dory and play nice Aunty to my nephew for the sake of DH and his parents. They know how upsetting it is for me because they know what i've been through and how long DH and I have been TTC, so it's all good there. Plus I guess it's not his fault his mum is a cow.
But on the upside to my miserable/b!tchy story, last week DH and I have been given the green light to have IVF! It's been 5.5 years in the making, so we are hoping and praying that i'll be UTD before Christmas. So good things do come to those who wait. Don't ever give up on your baby dream. It may take a while, but when it happens, all the pain and suffering you've been through will make it so worth while. Keep your chin up Sweetie and think positive thoughts. I'm here if you want to talk about it some more, so you can PM me if you like. Take care. xx
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Piscean Dreamer (02-07-2012)
02-07-2012 12:58 #578
Hi Hopefulmum2b, thanks for your reply to my post, it was so comforting to know that the feelings im having are not just me being a cow but natural. I've heard it from others who havent been there themselves but it just makes you think they are being nice, sometimes you just have to hear it from someone who has.
I've been putting it off for so long as I thought I was being, I dont know what word to use, I was only 6 and a half weeks when it happened and my Mum lost a baby when she was only 2 days old due to a Dr that wanted to be elsewhere and rushed a natural birth that should have been a cesaerian. How dare I feel so upset when she went through all that? But to see stories from others I realise it was still hopes, plans and dreams that I lost that day. Im so sorry to hear it has been so many times for you, it must be so hearbreaking, I dont think I could be that strong and desperately hoping I dont need to be. BUT...Im also so excited for you about being approved for IVF! I'll keep everything I have crossed for you!!! Must say I dont know alot about the whole process but I have family who have had to resort to multiple visits so I know a little about what a rollercoaster it can be, hold on tight, stay positive and just go with it
Im still learning how to use this site but once I figure it out I will definately pm you for sure! Thanks again for your understanding words, it means alot to me
06-07-2012 19:12 #579
I have been in the same boat many a time with feelings of heartbreak and jealousy and it is normal. Although I must admit that since my huge weight loss, I don't have those feelings anymore. I don't know if it's because I have a new found confidence in myself or because I know in my heart that my time is coming very soon. My whole attitude to TTC/IVF is more positive now than before. Don't get me wrong, when someone does announce their pregnancy, I do wish that it was me and not them especially if they weren't even trying, but I don't have a and burst into anymore which feels so much better.
And you are right. People only say that to be nice and unless they have walked in our shoes, they will never know how it feels to have a MC and see others UTD while you pretend to be happy for them. So this place is the best place to be to rant, rave, cry and moan. We're all here for each other and know what we are/have been through so no judgement will be passed.
TBH, it doesn't matter how many weeks you were. A MC is a MC and heartbreaking all the same. My aunt was like your mum. She went to full term and ended up having a still born. So when I look at that perspective, I am quite glad that mine were pretty early on. I honestly don't know how I would have coped if it had been full term and then loosing my bub.
Thank you. It definitely is heartbreaking for sure and 3 times is one too many times for me, so we are hoping and praying with all our hearts that when we do start the IVF process, I can get UTD first off and actually keep the little one this time. The only thing that keeps me strong is the fact that if I give up now, we will never have our much wanted family. So with that in mind it keeps me going. Once you've had a MC, you definitely have to be strong and hope to God that it doesn't happen again. Unfortunatley for me thought, I don't have age on my side and this is our last hope to make our baby dreams come true. They say that things happen in three's so lets hope that this will be the end of my losing anymore babies.
Thanks Hun. DH and I are over the moon about our new journey. I too have heard that it's a rollercoaster of a ride, but after what i've been through these last 5.5 years, I think it's going to be a walk in the park.
You are most welcome. If you have any questions or just want to chat, PM me.
Take care. xx
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Piscean Dreamer (11-07-2012)
11-07-2012 15:11 #580
One sleep to go...and although the Dr is tomorrow I am terribly scared he will tell us no and although I am hoping with all my heart that he tells me its ok to start again, im also terrified to get that news. What if this all happens again with the next pregnancy? I dont think I can go through all this again, im not that strong a person, people around me tell me that I am but im just a really good actor. What if we get pregnant in the next couple of months and my body rejects it again? How would I explain to P that I lost our baby again? Will he still love me? Oh my god, the questions bring answers that bring more questions, it is a never ending vicious cycle. One sleep to go...
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