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  1. #1
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    Red face Terrible pregnancies and births..but still keep going back for more?

    I just wanted a little confirmation that I'm not infact insane...or at the very least not the ONLY insane one! I have absolutely TERRIBLE pregnancies and births - which for starters generally consists of the entire 9 months with morning sickness (and I'm talking throwing up 8 times a day, and needing maxalon injections frequently at the gp, hospitals, hyperemisis etc), and with this bub lets also add pelvic pain, a cracked rib from throwing up, and my newly acquired symptom of my tailbone constantly clicking out of place My births are even worse though - both posterior, with my second bub ending in a cervical tear, bub getting stuck, blood loss, going into shock, and complications which continued with pain and bleeding for 2 1/2 years!! This time I will need a c-section. You'd think all this would be enough to scare anyone off right??

    Well here I am pregnant with bubby number 3 (and I will admit it took a lot of time and courage to be game enough to go back for this baby after my traumatic last birth...note the age difference!) but I have already commited myself to baby number 4!! I don't know how I will handle the pregnancies, I don't know how I will handle the birth...but what I do know is I LOVE my children, I love babies...it's just so hard for me to actually get to that stage of having the child and I really wish I could bypass all the pregnancy/birth. I've been in tears at the hospital with the OB crying and having a panic attack of sorts I guess over having to go though another birth, but I can't help it - I love the end result and I believe I'm a great mother.

    I'm not sure exactly what I'm asking here but I guess does anyone think I'm mad to go though what I do each time...and would you keep having babies if you had such difficult pregnancies and births? The scary thing for me I guess is that I have agreed to the magical number of 4 babies total. My first 2 boys are to a previous marriage, and out of curiosity I asked my beautiful DP that if both our next two children were the same sex...would he want to go again for #3 (my #5!!) ...and he said we'd just go again!! I don't know if he was joking or not, but I guess what worried me was my reaction to hearing that and the fact that I DIDN'T dismiss the idea - even with everything I go through!! What if I just love our babies so much that I can never say no to 'another' baby?? I'm really not sure if my head is strong enough to say no to my heart when my body has been through enough? I'm still fairly sure that I want to stop at 4 kiddies...but I guess it just worries me that I still can't dismiss the idea completely, that even with all the complications I don't think I could take that permanent contraceptive step. The only conclusion I've come to is that I'm insane
    Last edited by Tieko; 28-07-2010 at 23:01.

  2. #2
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    I'm batting 100% for traumatic pregnancies/labour (hyperemesis, pre-pre-eclapsia, lost DDs twin, nearly died myself)
    and we will definately have more kids if able.

  3. #3
    7fornow's Avatar
    7fornow is offline Blessed Mummy to 1 awesome man and 6 lovely ladies!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tieko View Post
    I just wanted a little confirmation that I'm not infact insane...or at the very least not the ONLY insane one! I have absolutely TERRIBLE pregnancies and births - which for starters generally consists of the entire 9 months with morning sickness (and I'm talking throwing up 8 times a day, and needing maxalon injections frequently at the gp, hospitals, hyperemisis etc), and with this bub lets also add pelvic pain, a cracked rib from throwing up, and my newly acquired symptom of my tailbone constantly clicking out of place My births are even worse though - both posterior, with my second bub ending in a cervical tear, bub getting stuck, blood loss, going into shock, and complications which continued with pain and bleeding for 2 1/2 years!! This time I will need a c-section. You'd think all this would be enough to scare anyone off right??

    Well here I am pregnant with bubby number 3 (and I will admit it took a lot of time and courage to be game enough to go back for this baby after my traumatic last birth...note the age difference!) but I have already commited myself to baby number 4!! I don't know how I will handle the pregnancies, I don't know how I will handle the birth...but what I do know is I LOVE my children, I love babies...it's just so hard for me to actually get to that stage of having the child and I really wish I could bypass all the pregnancy/birth. I've been in tears at the hospital with the OB crying and having a panic attack of sorts I guess over having to go though another birth, but I can't help it - I love the end result and I believe I'm a great mother.

    I'm not sure exactly what I'm asking here but I guess does anyone think I'm mad to go though what I do each time...and would you keep having babies if you had such difficult pregnancies and births? The scary thing for me I guess is that I have agreed to the magical number of 4 babies total. My first 2 boys are to a previous marriage, and out of curiosity I asked my beautiful DP that if both our next two children were the same sex...would he want to go again for #3 (my #5!!) ...and he said we'd just go again!! I don't know if he was joking or not, but I guess what worried me was my reaction to hearing that and the fact that I DIDN'T dismiss the idea - even with everything I go through!! What if I just love our babies so much that I can never say no to 'another' baby?? I'm really not sure if my head is strong enough to say no to my heart when my body has been through enough? I'm still fairly sure that I want to stop at 4 kiddies...but I guess it just worries me that I still can't dismiss the idea completely, that even with all the complications I don't think I could take that permanent contraceptive step. The only conclusion I've come to is that I'm insane
    My figuring is, it is called labour for a reason- It is a labour of love! We must all be a bit insane, why else would we all keep going back? Babies have to give us this pain, so that we invest as much of ourselves in them as possible. Why would anyone go through such an ordeal not to properly invest in that beautiful little person at the end? We all do it, partially because, yes, we are insane, but mostly because they are oh-so-worth it!!!!

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    I'm only 11 1/2 weeks with my #3 and I'm having tailbone issues too. My #2 was posterior as well. Do you think there's a connection there? And, does it go away (cos it really hurts right now)?

    I think you are brave, and maybe a bit crazy. TBH I was really positive going into labour number 2, but after that I'm now petrified of labour number 3. My first birth was a walk in the park by comparison!!

    My posterior birth was traumatic but I didn't suffer as much as you did. I still think if I get another posterior I am having the drugs this time!!!

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    I have terrible pregnancies, I get pelvic pain pretty bad & I'm already in a fair bit of pain.
    I'm currently pregnant with number 3. I honestly didn't think it would happen yet. Dd took about 2 & a half years to concieve, this time I had about 6 af's & this ones on it's way.

    But yeah, you're not the only crazy one. lol.

    Despite all the pain I already love this little one.

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    I had the most awful morning sickness through my first two pregnancies. I lost 20kgs the first time and managed to simply stabilise my weight the 2nd time. It was mentally and physically a challenge to get through every day of those pregnancies. But I was still willing to try again with a 3rd because I knew what I would get at the end. And it was worth everything I would have to go through to get there.

    My pregnancies and births might not have been anywhere as traumatic as yours, but I certainly don't think you are insane. You have your eyes on the prize and you know that it is worth it in the end The love you feel never goes away, but all those pregnancy traumas do.

    Enjoy your lives together

  7. #7
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    Sheer Bliss is offline new username time?? this is toooo friggin hard, and NOT Bliss!!!
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    Terrible pregnancies too here (hyperemesis, PE, decreasing and liver functions) and still went back for #3 (who turned out to be #3 & #4 ). Luckily the births are pretty good ones (apart from PPH after DS2, and him being blue and taking a few mins to breathe), short and very little damage.

    NO WAY am I going back again though! I guess there is a limit to how much you can forget, and it's probably different for all of us.

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    I can understand why you are going back for more. although i only have the 1 DD 8mths old, we are trying for #2 already. why? coz we cant wait! you cant really explain why you love having them even though getting them out was almost impossible! i had a great pregnancy but imagine the worst birth and there you have it. 19 hrs, drugs, drips, bruises, transverse, posterior, vacuum, 3rd degree tear, loss of 3 x normal amount of blood, possibilty of hyterectomy, surgery, which put bub off breastfeeding in the end.. and the recovery was worse than all of that put together!!
    but i, like you, cant get enough of my DD and want 4 of them!
    you're not crazy, just in love!!
    Last edited by babybells; 19-08-2010 at 16:27.


 

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