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  1. #1
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    Default Sooooo angry and stressed - urgent help needed please

    Tomorrow (today) I am facing disciplinary action at work because I tried to protect my child.

    I work in a public service organisation and a major perk is high-quality, subsidised, onsite childcare. Great. However, there is a man I work with, in a more powerful position than mine, who has children at the centre. He is a very arrogant man, a charismatic bully is the best way I can describe him. Up until recently I have had a reasonably friendly relationship with him. He often grabs my DS and tickles him, wrestles him, throws him in the air etc. When I protest, he tells me "this is what boys need, they need rough play, look how much he enjoys it etc". My DS does laugh hysterically, which hasn't helped my protests! But this man has even pushed me away (as in a hand to my chest) when I've tried to take DS from his arms.

    A couple of months ago, it all got a bit much, and after my working relationship soured with this man, I spoke to the Child Care Centre director and asked that this man not be allowed to touch my child at all, that staff intervene if he approaches DS. I gave some context as to why I didn't want this to happen, and the director made a formal file note, as she should.

    Fast forward to now... this horrible man has complained about me speaking to the director, and I am facing disciplinary action for 'breaching his confidentiality'.

    I cannot tell you how angry and stressed I am. I think I have prepared a good defence but I cant sleep and am crying just thinking about it. Basically my defence is that it is my right to protect my child, and it doesn't matter where we work or how powerful this man is, I still have the right to ask that my child be protected and not be in trouble for it. Does that sound ok? Anything else I'm overlooking?

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    you sound so stressed
    it's hard to imagine your situ- need a bit more detail.
    Why is he claimng confidentiality breech?

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    I think you have every right to request certain person doesn't touch your child. Hard to comment on the confidentiality thing as I don't know what you said about him, but childrens safety always trumps confidentiality in my world (health care) and I'm pretty sure it'd be the same in child care. As long as you only spoke to the relevant people in the care facility and didn't go gossiping around the office I think that you should be ok. Good luck. Be strong.

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    The confidentiality thing sounds unrelated. You have every right to ex what you did. The carers should never have allowed it as far as I am concerned as its not his child. At my day care centre no one touches anyone elses child. Good luck today.

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    I would also assume from the carers point of view that they should not have let him know that you requested it? I would think that was breaching your confidentiality.

    I would suggest that the carers should have put up a public notice saying that under no circumstances is anyone allowed to pick up other peoples childrens, making it a blanket rule and easier to enforce?

    You are in no way out of line, he is very out of line going against your wishes.

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    It is your child. Nobody touches your child without your permission. Simple.

    As for confidentiality - I'm really lost on that one. What has that got to do with anything? He sounds like he thinks he deserves access to anything he wants and if he is crossed or his power questioned he will get nasty.

    Why is he going to such lengths to be able to keep up this 'relationship' with your son? I'd be suss about that and asking questions about his motives tbh.

    Clearly it's enough of a problem for you to have complained about it. What's his story anyway?

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    Now firstly he shouldn't be touching your child in ANY way .. the childcare workers should never have allowed this to happen whether you have requested it or not. You can't go into a cc centre and pick up someone elses child ... that is just not on.

    As for the disciplinary action, it sounds like it is a separate issue. If you have disclosed information that you obtained through the confidentiality of your work, then you are not able to disclose that to anyone.

    I'd be treating this as two separate issues. I'd be making a formal complaint about this person touching your child and the childcare staff for not protecting your child from this person etc. Take responsibility for the breech of confidential information (if you did do what they are accusing you of) with your Managers.

    Good luck today and I hope you get all this sorted out.

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    I agree with the above post - HOW DOES HE KNOW that you requested the rule??? I would think that it was a breach of confidentiality on the child care staffs part!!! I would be ROPABLE!!

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    That's just ridiculas that your in trouble for protecting your son. I'm surprised child care staff wouldn't intervene either - because if your ds was hurt by this man in their care it's still their fault.

    You've done nothing wrong I hope things go well! And rational human being would be able to see that you are WELL within your rights to protect your son!

    I hope your feeling more confident this morning and had some sleep!

    I'm looking forward to hearing how it went!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Larski View Post
    T
    But this man has even pushed me away (as in a hand to my chest) when I've tried to take DS from his arms.
    Woah!!!


 

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