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  1. #1
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    Default Should we or shouldn't we??

    My DP and I were planning to TTC in November this year. But we have been trying to get our lives back on track (hence moving in with DP's parents - ARGH!!) and went to speak to the bank the other day. They said that having more kids would go against us when applying for a loan. We are both students, and DP works full time. I will be starting part-time work soon. I was hoping to have all my babies by the time I had finished my degree so that I could go to work once they go to school. But now DP is having second thoughts. He tends to agree to things before he thinks about it, and then when I am all excited and raring to go, he suddenly says no. I am dying to have another baby ASAP and had it all worked out so I would only miss one semester of uni. Should we wait until we have a home loan to have another baby or just go for it? I feel like I have already put SO much of my life on hold and I would really love to have just one thing I want.

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    Please don't take offence, because there is none intended. It seems like you have a really set schedule! I don't know that having your kids at a certain time because you want to do a certain thing is really the best thing for the unborn bub. Again, there is no offence intended.

  3. #3
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    Well would it be better if I did not take any time off uni and put my child in daycare? Or had a baby and go straight back to work, again putting the child in daycare? We didn't plan on having DS when we did - it has reshuffled our whole lives. This means we have to plan the rest of our lives very carefully if we want achieve our goals - not career goals, but to have four kids, to own our own home and earn enough money so we can raise our children properly. We also don't want a 10 year gap between our kids - when things don't go to plan you have to adjust your plans.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chubbybubby View Post
    Well would it be better if I did not take any time off uni and put my child in daycare? Or had a baby and go straight back to work, again putting the child in daycare? We didn't plan on having DS when we did - it has reshuffled our whole lives. This means we have to plan the rest of our lives very carefully if we want achieve our goals - not career goals, but to have four kids, to own our own home and earn enough money so we can raise our children properly. We also don't want a 10 year gap between our kids - when things don't go to plan you have to adjust your plans.
    Sorry, I was just offering an opinion.

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    I'd say go for it. We are a single income family and we managed to get a home loan with 3 kids in tow, no probs at all. I think the bank was wrong to say that to you.
    Just make sure it is something that you both want and that you both feel the time is right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Liddy View Post
    I think that you should go for it if your partner wants it too... life is too short sometimes to have to wait and plan everything. You could die in 2 years time, i like having the sort of attitude that you need to make the most of your life while you can. Doesn't matter what other people think or if your financial situation isn't perfect. It is important but it's not as important as what your heart tells you. I say give it a shot, aslong as you've got some sort of plan sketched out in your head then things will go fine, just sit down with your partner, tell him how ure feeling and that even though the financial situation isnt ideal sometimes it's good to just take a risk. when i first told my bf i wanted a child he was totally against it.. not anymore. people change their minds, sometimes at first it seems like an insane idea but nothing is impossible. i dont believe a child can go unloved or uncared for if your heart is set on loving that child for the rest of your life. You have my support sweetie
    I totally agree darlin, You go for it!!!

    Take care Mandie xxx

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    I can understand that you guys have goals and plans, which is great, but there is never a 'right time' to have a baby .....you and your DH need to sit down and come up with a plan together that suits you both. Personally I commend you for being a mum and a student...... I had my DD well after my studies (10yrs), so I know I couldn't manage both. We got pregnant as soon as we moved into our new house and got our mortgage, unplanned but now we couldn't be happier. I guess studies/career/homes/mortgage are all long term goals, but having a family isn't always something that goes according to plans (some people take a long time to conceive #2) and may be more time limited depending on your age..
    Sorry I've got no real advice for you, only you and DH will know whats best for your situation, what is your priority now - finances and getting a house, finishing your studies asap so you can get a job or having more kids?? Good luck.


 

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