If the child had no chance of a good quality life then no
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25-11-2011 16:41 #81
25-11-2011 16:55 #82Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
It's so hard to know if you haven't been in the situation. Before DD I would have said I definitely would terminate with no reservations. Now it would probably depend on the severity of the issue. If the problem was going to cause the child significant pain or poor quality of life I wouldn't hesitate, despite the heartache. There're worse things than not being born. It would also depend on how far along the pregnancy was. Late-term abortion horrifies me, although I'm not philosophically opposed in many circumstances. Such a tough, heartbreaking topic
25-11-2011 16:58 #83Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Northern Beaches, Sydney
We were put in his position in Jan/Feb. Our baby was really unwell but the CVS could not tell us why. The geneticist did tell us that given his massive NT of 7 and the severity of the hidrops it was surprising this little one hadnt fallen away already.We found out at 12 weeks he was really unwell but I chose to wait till after 16 weeks to terminate so I could birth him rather than have the other suction-type termination (one's medical, the other surgical but I forget which is which). I was booked in for the induction on the Wednesday but the Friday before I went into labour naturally and had him on the Saturday. Looking at his little body I knew he 'didn't look right' and that he was terribly ill. I do feel blessed though that ultimately I didn't have to make this decision but in that situation again I guess I would. For me it would come down to what would be kinder. I know my son would have had massive heart and lung issues and it wouldn't sit comfortably with me to know that I knowingly brought someone into this world who had a poor quality of life. I would also need to take into consideration the strain my older son would be under having a sibling with crippling disabilities.
25-11-2011 17:02 #84
25-11-2011 17:04 #85
Not sure if there's a poll, but I would terminate. I know I'm too selfish to care for a special needs child. If I had a baby that had a problem that wasn't detectible by the usual tests then I would deal with it, but given the choice of not *having* to deal with it, I wouldn't continue with the pregnancy.
25-11-2011 17:09 #86
I would terminate.
My DH and I have talked about this and I have also written it down as i believe that i would need to be reminded in that difficult situation what is better for our lifestyle and what i believe in.
25-11-2011 17:12 #87Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
I don't know.
DH would be inclined to terminate, I would be inclined to keep it. We discussed this when I was pregnant with DD, and agreed that for Down's Syndrome we would keep it, as my want to keep it was stronger than his want to terminate. (He was conflicted about that anyway).
Now that I have DD - I don't know.
I have worked in the field of adult learning disabilities, and have seen how quality of life can be fine, and how it can be terrible. How some families cope well, and some fall apart. A lot depends on the severity of the condition.
If I decided to keep it I have to say it would be for very selfish reasons - those being not being able to handle the guilt, and the fear of whether my decision was (morally) wrong.
It may sound funny, but in some ways I envy the people who are so clear about what they would or wouldn't do. If I felt no guilt/ fear about terminating then my head says that would be the right decision (in a case of severe disease/ disorder, etc.).
For a child who was likely to live a very short and painful life then I think I could terminate, as I believe that would be the kinder thing to do by the child.
My difficulty comes for the more grey areas - like Down's Syndrome, where (as a PP said) people can have a great quality of life. The difficulty I have is that I have worked with many people who have Down's Syndrome at the other end of the spectrum - for whom life really isn't that great.
I ticked 'other' as I really don't know. I hope to never be faced with it, but if I am then I hope I make a decision based on what is the right thing to do, not my own emotions and fears.
25-11-2011 17:18 #88
25-11-2011 17:21 #89
Depends on what the case was. I find it hard to say I would since I've gone through so much to fall pregnant. However I wouldn't want my child to suffer just because of my need to have a child.
25-11-2011 17:28 #90
Yes I would. I would never terminate for any reason.
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