Equine mum - that was so generous of you to share. Even the most hardened of pro-lifers would have to read that and soften their stance a tiny bit. Its one thing to consider our own lives when making these choices, but to hear from a sibling what it has done to their lives - well, I think everyone should read your story. Best wishes
View Poll Results: Would you continue your pregnancy if...?
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03-07-2010 21:25 #61
03-07-2010 21:40 #62
For me the honest truth is I really dont know, I dont think i would ever know unless i was in that situation.
Im no stranger to special needs and I know the joy that any chiuld can bring, My very own daughter has special needs and I love her with all my heart, But if i had a choice i would prefer her not to have special needs, I here people say that oh you wouldnt change her for the world, Well that may be the PC thing to say but in all honesty if I could have my beutiful girl with ehr great personality and have all her organs working properly then I would do it in a second. Not only for me but for her as well.
I would like to think that I would go ahead with any pregnancy and give any child the love and suport and care that I give to DD but i really dont know if I could do it all again. I would hate to watch another child suffer, i would hate to have to leave one child in hospital to care for the other at home I would hate to have to deal with drs and therapist and learn a whole heap of more medical sh*t all over again.
I see our selfs as lucky with DD because if someone has of sat me down and 12 weeks pregnent and told me all of what DD has wrong with her Im not sure we would of kept her. Being that we have her now and love her to bits, there is NO WAY that we would have her, but at 12 weeks she wouldnt of been Mikenzee she would of been a baby with a list of medical issues KWIM.
I love DD to bits dont get me wrong and we f wouldnt not have her even for a second, She is great she ha awesome QOL in my opinion but she has also had a hard life and I cant say thats going to get better as she gets older. Would I put another child through all of that I dont know. Yes special kids are a blessing they are wonderfull and i wouldnt advocate for anyone to abort them not at all ,but I gues I just know the down sides and the heart ache aswell.
Oh and for the record im not talking about minor disabilites, im talking machine dependant bubs, I dont think I would ever know for sure if i would go through with it or not unles i was in that situation.
One thing I would know I would never do it contiue with the pregnancy and then give the baby away as i know all to well how hard it is for them to find adoptive parents for machine dependant kids, I know a few that are curently living in care homes waiting for someone to love them. I also know some wonderful amazing mums that adopt these babies but sadly these families are few and far between.
03-07-2010 21:54 #63Guest Guest
This has never been a yes or no question for me and it's never that simple. I'd really have to be in that situation, know exactly what's wrong, what the impact would be on all of us and take it from there. My gut instinct says no never, but that's a selfish one I'd make out of guilt for myself as in I could never live with myself for aborting, I'd forever hate myself and be haunted and since I believe in God how would I explain to God I killed my child. But realistically, it's really not about me, I have to think about the future child and their suffering, my ds, my husband and all our futures, what would happen if something happend to me who would care for him/her, who would care for ds if I'm occupied 24/7 caring for my other child, too many things to think about.
03-07-2010 21:58 #64Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
I have thought about this and am inclined to say that I would terminate.
I'm not completely proud to say it but I'm pretty sure I would, if it was confirmed that my child had a serious intellectual or physical disability or chromosome condition. I honestly don't think I could handle it. I couldn't see myself coping, and I worry what that would do to the poor child.
I have never been in this position, and pray that I never am. My heart goes out to the parents that cope with their children's extra needs every day, and realise once again that I am blessed. Pregnancy is a gamble, and I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to follow through with an unexpected outcome such as this.
03-07-2010 22:01 #65
Thank you everyone for sharing your thought, opinions and mostly your stories. It has opened my eyes ALOT i guess i was very naive, i never really looked at every side of it. How it would effect my ds, financially, the bub's quality of life, so many things to consider that had never crossed my mind, at first i said no, never would i abort, now i think i'd have to be in that situation, know the type of disability etc, and really think about it. Thanks for opening my eyes.
04-07-2010 10:00 #66Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
I voted other as it does depend on so many things,particularly life experiences as some pp have kindly shared. Interestingly, my dh has changed his mind after our recent mc he used to say terminate straight away but now states it would really depend what was wrong. I have a friend who had bad results at first and was advised to terminate, went for further tests and apparently bubs is fine-will find out for sure this month.
I too hope to never have to make that decision.
I hope that I never have
04-07-2010 10:14 #67
Yeah, it's a really really hard question for sure.
One part of me thinks it is abhorrent for me to decide to terminate a baby because it does not come up to the current standards of 'normality' or 'perfection', I think of the people in this world who have lived wonderful beautiful lives despite the lack of 'perfection' and think who would I be to choose life or death for this person?
Then again, reading equinemums story ( ) there is also a larger picture.
If my baby were diagnosed as having a condition incompatible with life, there is no way I'd do anything but let that baby rest in my womb for as long as it needed, then pass away in love. I simply could not think of terminating.
But of course all of this is simply supposition, and if faced with the actual situation, maybe I'd be thinking differently.
Life (and death) sure isn't simple.
04-07-2010 10:26 #68
I voted no, but it really depends.
I have terminated a pregnancy for severe abnormailites. They were twins and we already had a daughter to think of...not that I need to justify myself.
If it was only one baby, who knows what we would have decided. If it was simply DS or something less severe to what the problems were, I don't know.
Even though I have been there, each situation is different so I couldn't give a definite answer.
Probably should've voted other
Last edited by BigRedV; 04-07-2010 at 10:29.
04-07-2010 11:06 #69Save Lives Go Vegetarian
- Join Date
- Oct 2007
04-07-2010 18:57 #70
ONLY IF it was certain that my own life was in danger and ONLY because I have other children to live for.
Other than that...absolutely not.
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