this is a hard question. there will be a group of people that are adamant that they know what they would do, and some of them will be right. most of them will never have to live through something that will make them realise that they could be wrong and so they get to live happily in their ignorance.
I was once adamant that there was nothing that would make me consider abortion, and this was after I already had one special needs child. Then I got a high likelihood for downs syndrome. I went for a CVS because that was the logical next step, but they couldn't get a sample size large enough.
the next weeks waiting to be pg enough for an amnio were excrutiating. I was more devastated at the thought that I was capable of having an abortion than I was at the thought that something was wrong with my child.
DS we had the tests and they were clear. DD2 (really DD3 if you count that I miscarried late with my second pg) the nuchal transculency was mistimed and so they couldn't give accurate results, we didn't follow up, we figured that it just didn't matter to us after all.
I think that some people really do know themselves, and that others are naive and only think that they do.
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30-06-2010 19:14 #11
30-06-2010 19:16 #12
A lot of people find that selfish, but meh, I never claimed I wasn't selfish.
I wouldn't knowingly bring a really disabled child into the world. It's not just about myself, but also about my existing family. I want what's best for us - and will always put our needs ahead of an unborn foetus.
30-06-2010 19:18 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
I don't know.
I didn't have any of that early testing (just the 18 week scan) as I didn't want to have to turn my mind to it.
30-06-2010 19:23 #14
I can't say for sure, because I just don't know.
30-06-2010 19:23 #15
Maybe. Depends on the specfics. When I was pregnant I chose not to get the nt because I would have kept him regardless but now with Jasper to consider....... I don't know it certainly wouldn't be an easy decision and I don't know what I'd decide - but I feel less like I would just keep the baby. I don't know, it's a heartbreaking topic
30-06-2010 19:28 #16
Yes. Tests for DS and other abnormalities are notoriously unreliable and it goes against DH and I's beliefs. Having said that I don't judge those that abort for medical reasons. I had an aquaintance who gave birth to a little boy with trisomy 18 and he died a few mins after birth. It wasn't picked up until she was 30+ weeks and she had told me if she had known early on she would have aborted. I understand why she felt that way, as it was soul destroying for her.
30-06-2010 19:30 #17-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
i choose other,
I would never get the nt scans as I think it's not my choice,
If somehow I found out it would depend on the unborns quality of life after birth and also what affect said abnormality would have on my already born son
30-06-2010 19:34 #18
I know that because of my own personal feelings and beliefs surrounding my family and my philosophy that no, I would never terminate a pregnancy under any circumstances with the only exception being that my life was at risk.
I do not judge those who choose differently as I am 110% pro-choice, pro-woman and pro-bodily autonomy.
30-06-2010 19:41 #19
Yes i would cause i dont have the tests done & wouldnt know untill birth.
30-06-2010 19:42 #20
I would, only because I have a brother who has a disability and I found it hard because I was always pushed to the side because his needs came first. Children with a disability do need more attention and I am not sure I could give it to him/her.
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