Yes I would continue my pregnancy regardless. I don't feel I have the right to judge who is and isn't worthy of living.
If they had something incompatible with life I would let nature take its course and I would love and care for that child until he/she died.
Ive never had the NT scan done as I don't know if my husband would agree with my decision to continue the pregnancy and don't really want to have that fight. I also wouldn't have an amino/cvs so would stress for the rest of the pregnancy if there really was something wrong or not.
The only time I'd consider not continuing a preg is if it was life-threatening to me or another baby (in terms of multiples), and even then I don't know if I could terminate really.
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13-02-2012 10:55 #141Senior Member
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- May 2008
13-02-2012 10:58 #142
I've never had one of those tests to see if there's problems or anything. I couldn't put myself through it. I know how hard life can be with a special needs child growing up with a sister who had special needs and I'm afraid, actually afraid, of how I would react if I found that out and knew I had a choice to not follow through. I believe it would tear me apart so I accept whatever comes and know that I have the strength if need be. Nothing else. Nothing less. Just my opinion.
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13-02-2012 11:02 #143Senior Member
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- Sep 2008
Tough question... I guess it would depend on the severity. Before I had my twin DD's I would have said yes for sure but now with almost 3 year old twins I probably wouldn't as I don't think I would cope with having a SN child as well.
14-02-2012 13:52 #144
I keep getting updates to this thread and I feel compelled to add my two cents.
I had a very high risk NT scan so I elected to have an amnio. We received a positive diagnosis of Down syndrome at 18 weeks. Did I think about the options - absolutely - for about 3 days. 3 days of crying and jumping from one option to the other. I researched and researched and went looking for mothers in the same position. I am really ashamed to say that my perception of Down syndrome was so so so so so outdated. But I know I'm not the only one. One of the nurses doing my blood tests at the hospital told me less than 2% of people that receive a prenatal diagnosis proceed with the pregnancy. To me that is an absolutely horrifying statistic, and it most cases its unnecessary. I fully understand that in some cases it is the only options when the baby's condition is shown to be "not compatible with life" and that must be a heartbreaking thing for the parents. But if the majority of decisions are made just because the baby doesnt fit the "perfect" picture the parents had imagined.
I honestly dont think that most people dont receive enough information about these diagnoses. My Obstetrician provided absolutely no information or support (needless to say he didnt remain my Ob). Everything I learnt was from other mothers and I am so happy to say that there honesty and friendship and information helped me make the best decision of my life.
To terminate or proceed is every woman's right, I dont have a problem with terminations because we never know what is going on in another woman's life. But if a decision is made purely on the possibility of a disability then make it an informed decision.
I have created a facebook page that ultimately I would love for future mothers with high risk diagnoses to have a look at just to show them the other side of the decision. It's just a personal page so I'm not promoting any commercial enterprise or for any gain, but if you would like to take a look at the real face of Down syndrome then we'd be pleased to welcome you. https://www.facebook.com/pages/More-...625488?sk=wall
If this link doesnt work the page is called More Than Most and the profile pic is of my baby girl's hand.
12-03-2015 14:51 #145Junior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
I agree! tough decision, but now days we have the option to find out the status of the baby. Whilst will be the hardest to decide and break the big dreams of having a baby, I consider termination a very viable way. I couldn't leave with myself bring a kid to this world to suffer if I have the chance to prevent it. I rather suffer all the pain myself by taking the decision. On saying this is my first baby very close o my 40's having the NTS in 5 week and I am petrified!
12-03-2015 21:21 #146Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
I'm really not sure and think it would depend on the situation.
For my first, I am pretty sure I would continue the pregnancy. Now that I have another child to consider, I'm unsure.
We have very close friends who unfortunately were put in this position. They have gone ahead with the pregnancy and the baby/toddler is now 3. It has been a terribly long and difficult road and the reality is that their first 2 kids are hugely impacted. They are constantly shuffled between friend, family and grandparents whilst Mum & Dad juggle long stays in hospital, often both needing to be there where things are going badly, whilst Dad tries to work to generate an income as mum can not. It's difficult for the kids to do a sport, they miss simple things like birthday parties and mostly they miss mum as mum can't bear to leave the toddler at the hospital without a parent, alone, and they rarely get down time together as a family. They have really great support around them but it has made things very tough for the other two. So this would be a huge impact on decision making for me - what would the impact be to my son.
A terrible decision that I feel for anyone who has to make the choice.
12-03-2015 22:01 #147
It depends on the disability but I wouldn't for Down's syndrome.
They are amazing people and get to live normal independent lives these days
12-03-2015 22:24 #148
I always thought I wouldn't, but then it happened to me. And I couldn't end it. I armed myself with every contingency plan I thought I needed and waited it out.
He passed at 30 weeks and we were ready with contacts for heartfelt for photos and a funeral place.
But I had lists of medicines and equipment.
Having him live and watching him for would have been next level brutal
12-03-2015 22:30 #149
I wrote no 4 years ago but now yes I would continue the pregnancy. I don't know what or why my opinion has changed but it has.
12-03-2015 22:34 #150
No. I would not end it.
Who are you to say quality of life is just because someone has a disability? I know plenty of 'healthy' I won't say normal because what is that. That don't do anything with there lives.
My friends with cerebral palsy have jobs, friends etc my brother lives his life to max with downs. I live and breath disability.
I delivered a healthy baby. A baby who now has acquired brain injury, feeding issues etc. I've had to come to terms with it in another way. He still may have CP. Just because he is crawling isn't positive for us.
Just because you take home a HEALTHY baby doesn't mean it's always going to be that way. Your taking home your child, a child you created.
Btw I'm pro choice this is just my view.
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