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    Default Behavioural issues

    My boy is generally excellently behaved, but there are a couple of things that he often refuses to do ... go to bed, have a bath, brush his teeth.

    What method do you use with this behaviour? He is starting to understand consequences and choices so I am using that - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I don't want to shout and definitely don't want to hit him, but I am finding on occasion that I am shouting and I am sure there are going to be more sources of frustration than less in the future, so I am looking for ideas about how to manage issues of contention better.

    Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

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    hi, mumkc, you havent said how old your boy is?? or have I just not read it.?? I would be able to relax about the bath or the cleaning teeth, but I need the proper sleep routine. I think skipping one bath or one teeth cleaning is not such a bad thing, but the sleep time is something I really need to have. I would just choose which battle I really had to win. I found having a regualr meal time, followed by bath, story time, and then bed, worked well for my family. If they were not sleepy after the story time, then the light could be left on for 10 minutes if they wanted to lie in bed and read for themselves. The rule was no getting out of bed, and no talking, only reading or the light just went out. I agree I didnt like battles at night time, and so I was willing to allow a little give and take. I never did the rewards charts, I never did time out, I mostly used One, Two, Three, once Three was reached then there was consequences. marie.

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    Looking at your ticker, I'm assuming he's just two.

    Have you tried giving him some negotiating power in the matter? Not "Will you have a bath or not?" but "Do you want your bath before or after tea?" "Do you want to clean your teeth in the bath or after your bath?"

    It makes him feel he has some control, at least, even though the message is clear that the bath or the clean teeth will happen, he has some say in the how it will happen.

    I never had many bedtime issues, but maybe a variation of the same thing, to give him some control, might help.

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    Negotiating will never end if you start it now, and control is something that should never me given to a 2 year old.

    You are the parent and such the one in control age appropriate consequences and routine is what is going to work

    that way he will learn what to expect and when, as far as counting to 3 he needs to know you mean what you say the first time you say it

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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaV View Post
    Looking at your ticker, I'm assuming he's just two.

    Have you tried giving him some negotiating power in the matter? Not "Will you have a bath or not?" but "Do you want your bath before or after tea?" "Do you want to clean your teeth in the bath or after your bath?"

    It makes him feel he has some control, at least, even though the message is clear that the bath or the clean teeth will happen, he has some say in the how it will happen.

    I never had many bedtime issues, but maybe a variation of the same thing, to give him some control, might help.
    is he two? I think that making them feel like they have options is a good one. i was having probs with him brushing his teeth. i actually bought a blue one and a red toothbrush for him. so instead of saying ''it is time for teeth'' and him chucking a wobbly, it is ''red or blue toothbrush tonight?" and away we go. with the bath he sometimes complains, but i just say this is what we do. if he chucks a tanty, he still is put in the bath and since he knows that is what happens no matter how much stink he kicks up, he does not bother anymore.

    i like reward ideas, but i dont use them for things that should be expected and normal routine. more for tt or good sharing etc.

    good luck


 

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