I wasn't raised any particular sexuality.
my mum repartnered after dad died and she was widowed, and happened to fall in love with a woman, so since a teen Ive had two mums.
they only care that we are happy.
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26-06-2010 11:21 #21-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
26-06-2010 11:22 #22
In my immediate family, I don't *think* so. I can't recall anything. Sex was never discussed, future children or marriage was never mentioned. My extended family did however. But my mother always prefaced visits with "If they say something odd, just smile and nod and we can laugh about it later".
I did have Barbies and Kens, which I asked for. But Barbie would often leave Ken at home to get it on with another Barbie.
26-06-2010 11:24 #23-
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
Yes I was, but its only now that I realise it and Im sure mum never meant to do it.
I try to raise Lukie pretty neutrally though but I wont be asking if he likes "any of the boys at school" because I dont want to push him that way either. I'll just watch him grow and see what he chooses to do with himself.
26-06-2010 11:42 #24
Subtly but yes but then again my parents are much older than most hubbers parents (my Mum is 79 this year). I never got "when you get married" I'm pleased to say. I got lots of "when you go to university" though which was very influential in my motivation to go to university.
I asked my Mum one day what she would have done if my brother was gay and she said that she would have been devastated. Not sure why, never got to that. I asked her how she would have felt if I had been gay and she said "oh we knew you were never gay" which kind of made me giggle - like I was boy mad growing up (which I wasn't and didn't have my first real boyfriend until I was in uni).
We do make a particular point with DS not to refer to any of his female friends at CC as 'girl friend", they are all just friends.
26-06-2010 11:55 #25
Not really. My family is hugely involved in the dance industry and mum and my aunt work for the AIDS Council and the Hep C Council so all my life I have been surrounded by homosexual people. My family are in no way homophobic and if anyone did ask me if I had a boyfriend and I said no they very quickly asked if I had a girlfriend
I actually had a discussion with DS1 after school the other day about what 'gay' means etc after he said that if he held another boys hand kids say he's gay
26-06-2010 12:04 #26Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2008
Yes I was raised with assumed heterosexuality. Although I have no doubt at all that if I was gay my family would accept me, we were definitely raised with the assumption that we weren't.
I remember I think in high school, reading a thing about homosexuality, I can't remember where I read it or exactly what it was, but it was basically asking a hetero person all the questions a gay person is always asked, like-
"What age did you realise you were straight?"
"How do you know you are straight if you have never dated another woman?"
I can't remember the rest but that is the first time I realised how assumed heterosexuality is in our society.
26-06-2010 14:04 #27Our family is complete!
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
Not really....I don't think. Nothing that stands out and as a teenager I was definitely let known that I could be whoever I was...my sister never had a boyfriend through highschool and my parents did ask her if she had a girlfriend...to which my sister would get deeply offended by.
Both me and my sis are in hetrosexual relationships. I can't talk for my sister but I am definitely hetrosexual.
I'm not sure if I have mentioned a future husband to my kids or anything like that but I'll definitely be watching myself from now on and make sure that I don't make assumptions! My DD2 has a great love for breasts. She's only 2 but she is fascinated by them, thinks they're beautiful, loves to touch them etc. and we aren't doing anything to discourage it. I'm not sure if it's a lasting memory from being breastfed, or if she just admires breasts but it has been mentioned that she might not grow up and have a boyfriend (she might, she might have girlfriends too...but DD1 we probably have just assumed she is hetrosexual, where as DD2 we haven't assumed anything. We really owe DD1 the same courtesy) DS is only 7 months old so no talks there at all.
26-06-2010 14:05 #28Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2009
I was raised in western New South Wales, where homosexuality is still little accepted. There was no question that we would be anything other than straight, and I prefer not to think of my father's reaction if one of his children had not been. It would not have gone well.
I have raised my children with the assumption of heterosexuality as well because, well, that is the norm for the majority of the population.
27-06-2010 19:17 #29
Both my parents come from strict Catholic backgrounds and would have been confused rather than shocked by homosexuality becasue it was just not something that they ever experienced in their young lives.
I think now, my mum would be accepting of it for us or anyone else but my dad wouldn't. He feels very strongly about things being done right. He was NOT impressed that my DS was born out of wedlock or that my bro has lived with a number of women but never married one. He views homosexuality as 'not right' and therefore would not accept it in his children.
My bro and sisters couldn't care either way.
*Sings* Do what you wanna do, be what you wanna be yeah!
27-06-2010 19:26 #30
Yes, I was. I can't think of specific things that made me come to this conclusion, but I can't remember knowing much about homosexuality other than that my mother's childhood friend was gay. I can't remember homosexuality being a big secret that I discovered and was shocked about though either... so I think it was "okay" to be gay in my immediate family, but I can't really remember anyone doing anything that would suggest I MIGHT be gay.
I guess I'm raising DD as a heterosexual... I never really put any thought into it. I just do what I do.
I have explained to her though that while 2 people of the same sex cannot legally marry in our country, they can love each other and it's just the same as a man loving a woman and vice versa. She understands that people of hte same sex can experience a romantic love between them.
She talks about the "boy" she's going to marry (a kid at her daycare named Joshua who is apprently a bit of a ladies man)... so we talk about her "husband," but I see that as kinda following her lead...
If she said she wanted to marry a girl, then I'd talk about that instead.
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