Yes, and now that I haven't had any "proper" relationships I get "are you sure you're not gay?" No I am not sure! I don't like people because of their sex I like them for them! If that means I like a woman or man the whatever! But why do I have to pick a box now to make everyone happy?!
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26-06-2010 08:25 #11
26-06-2010 08:33 #12
Whilst I'd have to say probably in the earlier years, we definitely had a range of people in our lives, homosexual, transgender, etc that made normal a rather broad concept.....
I started playing a rather non traditional sport for women at 15 and within mths mum was asking whether I had a girlfriend, which funnily enough I did....my grandfather and mothers boyfriend were not so accepting at first, but thankfully that faded.....
Considering both myself and my immediately younger sis are in same sex relationships I am glad that diversity was not shunned in our household....
I am also very very conscious of not making inferences one way or the other with DD....
26-06-2010 08:41 #13-
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
I think things would be very differant. I always prefered dressing in boys clothes and would always steal my brothers clothes. When my parents split up i really got mixed messages. While living with my dad, i was allowed to play football and learn to play the trombone. My mum would always make digs that i should be playing the flute and she would buy me frilly dresses and little bras for 10 yr olds.
In high school/ uni i cut my hair short and would dye it green or bright red. I did army cadets and quickly became a corperal. I always had boyfriends but they were all very feminine or very very masculine. They usually either had long hair and skinny or were captains of sports teams and over 6'7 with muscels all over. I then became a security guard because i think i look sexy in a uniform. Men and women always look better in uniform. My mum was still always making digs at me doing it. I have been tossing up being a firefighter for a while.
I think if my mum would have just left me alone and let me do my own things that i liked i would definatly be a bisexual. I dont think i could be a lesbian only because i like penises.
26-06-2010 09:13 #14
I would say that I was definitely raised with assumed heterosexuality. I think that being raised with assumed sexuality itself does not present a problem, as long as it is accompanied by open acceptance of homosexuality. I think that you create an issue when you raise with assumed sexuality combined with an intollerance of those who are "different".
I know that some parents raise their children in what I would call a "gay" way, in that they encourage what would be seen as homosexual tendancies. (ie. encourage boys to wear makeup, have handbags, explore their femininity, etc.) I do not see how this is any different from raising your children in a "straight" way (ie. girls doing the abovementioned). I do think that there is a problem with discouraging whatever behaviours that the child sets themselves.
To sum up, I do not think there is any harm in assuming that your child is heterosexual, but I think that there is harm in discouraging behaviours that may be seen as homosexual. We need to let our children feel free to be who they are.
26-06-2010 09:19 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
No I wasnt raised like that.
My mum was great. she said she hoped we would find love. It was never pinned down as hetrosexual love.
I remember she used to say her only fear was that we would be nuns...
I did have a relationship with a woman, for 1 year.
26-06-2010 09:21 #16
I suppose it has always been assumed. The topic never came up, except the odd talk of "when you get married and have kids one day", but really I don't see that as unusual, seeing as the majority of the population is heterosexual.
I'm sure my parents would love me just the same, but it just never would have crossed their minds that I would be anything but heterosexual.
26-06-2010 09:59 #17
I was. My family always pushed the boy-girl only thing. It probably didn't even cross their minds that I could go a different way. It is always assumed.
Then when I turned 12 my nan gave me the sex talk about how boys only want one thing, and how they will break your heart. And I had a generally sad outlook on my future with men. Probably why I turned to women for most of my teenage years. Inadvertedly, my nan took my hetro ideals and scared them out of me. But hetrosexuality was assumed. For sure.
26-06-2010 10:00 #18
Hmm, I guess it was just assumed, yeah. I remember feeling a bit conflicted when I was young, as I found women more naturally 'attractive' than men.. (does that make sense? I just mean women, with their curves and such seemed so much "prettier" than dangly, gangly hairy blokes ) but I don't think it was a sexual attraction... probably just aesthetic appreciation.
I did experiment on both sides of the proverbial fence as I hit my late teens and early twenties, however have never met a woman I could consider myself being in a relationship with. If I did, she was straight. Haha.
I don't remember anything about sexuality being discussed at all. So I have to assume that it was just assumed that I was hetero.
In saying that, I believe that my parents would support and love me regardless of which way I swing.
26-06-2010 10:11 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
No, I wasn't raised with assumed heterosexuality. My parent's always referred to our future 'partner', never 'husband', and they did so on purpose. I've been bicurious, one sister is solely into men, and my other sister is a lesbian. My parent's don't give a crap about what gender our partner is, as long as they treat us properly.
We have a very close family friend who didn't tell his parent's he was gay until he was 40 He had 'known' since he was a young teenager and he basically lived a lie so that his family didn't reject him, so to speak. Another family friend is gay and his mother knows but still comments about him finding a woman someday.
DH was raised in a homophobic household, but he is the complete opposite. He said something the other day about DS's "future girlfriend or boyfriend" . He doesn't want DS to be raised with assumed heterosexuality.
Last edited by Bellini; 26-06-2010 at 10:19.
26-06-2010 10:24 #20
I was raised to be either way.
My father is homosexual, and my mother is straight.. Long story short, it didn't end well.
But my parents raised me and my sisters to be what ever we wanted to be, straight or gay.
My youngest sister played with barbies, and was the girlyest thing around.
I played with boys action figures, and played sport.
Turned out all of us a heterosexuals, and all happily with our beloved men
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