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  1. #1
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    Default Were you raised with assumed heterosexuality?

    This is a spin-off, I thought it'd be best to start a new thread rather than derail the existing one.

    As a child, I was raised with the expectation that I'd be heterosexual. My family were not really homophobic, but the assumption was that we would all be heterosexual, so homosexuality was still "othered" and perceived as not the norm, deviant etc.

    I think if I had have been raised differently, without the assumption that I would grow up to be heterosexual, things would have been different. I am heterosexual currently, as I am in a monogamous, committed relationship with a person of the opposite sex. But I'm not sure that I would have defined myself as rigidly heterosexual had I been allowed the opportunity, knowledge and space to define for myself my own preferences.

    How do others feel? Were you raised with assumed heterosexuality? Do you think this impacted/currently impacts on your relationship choices? Do you think you would have made different choices if you were given more space to define your own sexuality?

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    Yes it was assumed that myself and my siblings were hetrosexual.

    I have no idea what things would be like if people were allowed to really define their own sexuality, and think it's a fabulous concept.

    I was asked things like "Do you have a boyfriend?" and "do you like any of the boys at school" etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sockstealingpoltergeist View Post

    I was asked things like "Do you have a boyfriend?" and "do you like any of the boys at school" etc.
    Me too. And my brothers were always told "you'll make a lady very happy one day!" and we were asked "when you grow up and find a husband, how many children will you have...?"

    It's that subtle assumption that I think can set some kids up to live a lie.

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    I think myself and my sister were but my brother on the other hand we all knew from when hge was young that he was gay and he himself said he knew from about 10 years old.

    When he came out at 18 we werent shocked at all our response was kinda like 'yeh and??'

    My Uncle is gay so we have grown up around him and the 2 different long term partners he has had since we were kids so I think our whole family was comfortable with the idea so I dont think my Mum ever thought I hope my children are hetro.

    However my inlaws definatly would have thought all their chilren would be straight

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pippi Longstocking View Post
    Me too. And my brothers were always told "you'll make a lady very happy one day!" and we were asked "when you grow up and find a husband, how many children will you have...?"

    It's that subtle assumption that I think can set some kids up to live a lie.
    This is so true, and I have done this a little with my own DD, which makes me a bit sad .

    I am trying to do things differently with DS and often talk about predefined gender roles with DD.

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    yes i was raised like that also and come to think of it im unintentionally raising my boys the same way. if was raised differently im sure my decisions would have been different i have been bi curious for some time now.

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    Yeah I totally was and I also wonder what might have been had I been allowed to define sexuality for myself. Have had moments of Bi curiosity.

    My OH's dad is gay and I asked if he hoped his DD and any future kids are hetero and he said 'as long as they are happy and dont suffer, I dont care' Im the same I just hope that by the time our kids grow up that sexuality really isn't an issue.

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    Yes. My Dad is gay, and would have accepted no matter what however, my mother is a homophobic bish. So it was assumed I was hetero.

    I was asked questions like; "Do you have a boyfriend?" My brother who is gay as been told by my mum that once he finishes uni he will find a nice girl...

    While I am married to man, I am not really heterosexual and I'm not bi-sexual. I have dated females. I like people, not genders.

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    the first time i remember hearing the word gay was in grade 7. i didn't learn what it meant until about grade 9 and didn't really grasp the concept until just before i started grade 12. i came out a year later. peed my parents off a bit there.
    so yes, you could say i was, considering that the closest gay relative i have is a nephew of my dad's brother's wife's side.

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    I was raised with expected hetrosexuality and the homphobic declaration the homosexuality was morally wrong, corrupt and damned.

    We were told in no uncertain terms to not come home and declare anything except a virgin white wedding marriage to a person of the opposite gender


 

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